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Liem Talbott

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Liem's mindscape is dark; quiet; contemplative. Any feelings or sensations that Liem doesn't intentionally project himself seem distant, as though echoing from a far-off room. Following any given sense to its source is bafflingly difficult.

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[ Two halves of an arch, bowed in support of one another. That was how Liem had described 'friendship'; it was not that he did not comprehend such things, for between he and Isis had been a long, devoted companionship that he had imagined stronger than any force in the world. A bond of their choosing, different from that of marriage. Something more like what Ra had described, when she had claimed that goddesses had been made with the right to choose among gods again and again, unhindered by marital bonds. By human shackles and chains.

His hand fits into Liem's, when taken. Smooth fingers pressing across his palm, gathered so gently. ]

Of course I would have. Like you, he matters to me beyond the trappings of faction and victory.

[ Like Rudbeckia, goes unsaid but equally obvious. He devotes himself to guarding her from the battle she wants no part of, and she rests with Meridian because that is where Set is. Even Liem, had he remained with Zenith, would have been mourned but accepted; some people were just worth more than the side they found themselves on. And Set had always been a traveler of far, foreign lands and people. Always sought understanding, even among those who would become his enemies or were immediately antagonistic to him.

It hurts, to think that Gen could drift further from him, and it wasn't even his fault. ]

I sent him there, where he wanted to be. Whatever happened to him, he thinks he is only worth ending. I think he is so painful, Liem. You are painful too, in another way that wants me to be close to you. I am a god, and one of the only ones. I have to feel the weight of your lives once again, and love you in secret.

[ He says it, like he's been punched in the stomach. ]

[Since he was very young, Liem has never known quite what to do with love. The fleeting love of a sister who vanished from his life; the conditional love of friends with their own human lives to pursue; the skin-deep love of strangers whose beds he’d shared; the spurious love of a father who wanted to keep him like a pet. It sits uneasily within him, fragile and strange, so easily lost or broken. Bewildering in its unexpected presence.

And a little panic-inducing, too. His fingers tighten on Set’s as they sit, and his body curves more firmly against the other man, moulding Liem to his shape. He tucks his face into the crook of neck and shoulder as some rarely-woken, anemic fear moves frantically down his spine and into his stomach. It is not a soft and easy emotion, for him, but one that makes him feel sick and worried, for all that he makes no move to release the god from his grasp.]

You have chosen difficult people to love.

[He doesn’t understand it — why Set would gravitate towards people who would hurt him. Surely he must have had enough of such pain by now.]

[The Gen way of blowing things out of proportion. He understands. Which is why he's sitting here in Liem's very stylish sitting area without his armor and sword and no boots.

Gen wouldn't tell him anything about what Liem had taken "hostage" (as Gen put it), so to find out it is a him has the gears in his head turning. Family? A friend? Smeone Gen would go more feral over to protect.

It's funny how Liem had issues with Gen's aggression the same way D questioned whether Liem had ever done this to Gen before. Gen is Gen, but even so, Liem does not seem like the type to consistently misbehave.]

So he attacked you later to get it back.

[Gen had said he had to take the shard back by force once he believed Liem had lied to him.]

[ He was not made for good things, he knows.

In choosing those who are difficult to love, he admits to being difficult to love. There is little difference between him and Liem, in the way they have been loved and come to understand that painful little thing that eludes them. That comes to them in the form of obsession, lies and withheld rewards. ( He loves his son, unconditionally and madly. Anubis has always been the recipient of a love that will kill Set, a love that he would die for gladly, but has chosen to live and suffer to grasp. )

Is it any wonder, he claims to love Liem? Gen? Rudbeckia? The most difficult, painful people he knows. Those who think themselves unworthy, impossible to love.

He leans into Liem, folding the hand that tightens against his between his fingers. Like holding a frantic bird that wants to take flight before it is safe. His face turns, haunted and strained and wishing he had just one more petal. One more piece of Yima's calm, starry blossom to rinse away the storm of his emotions and the madness within his heart. ]

I have. [ Simply admitted, without apology. ] I am also something difficult to love. So, I understand.

Later…?

[Liem surfaces briefly from his mortified reverie to puzzle over this question, wondering if, in asking it, D is referring to the scuffle that had landed Gen in jail. He has no idea just how much Gen actually told him about their interactions, but it doesn’t sound like he delivered a very detailed picture.]

No, his retribution was quite immediate. He secured Set’s cooperation, and sent him to retrieve the shard from me by force instead. I resisted Set only briefly before relenting and surrendering it into his keeping.

[Partly because Set was beating the stuffing out of him, but also because he had been so clearly wounded, in some deep and animal way, by what Gen was holding over him. And because Set hadn’t wanted to keep hurting Liem to get the thing he’d come for.

That, actually, is the only part of this whole story that still makes Liem frown. Set may have done many, many terrible things in his long life, but he hadn’t deserved the misery Gen had inflicted on him. Not from Gen.]

I don’t know why he didn’t just come for it himself. Perhaps because he wasn’t confident he could take it from me, and he knew that Set would be able to. A fair enough assessment, I suppose.

[Liem’s always been a slippery little guy; if Gen had come for him to take the shard by force, Liem probably would have just ditched him. But Set had been rather impossible to shake off.]

[It could so easily be a terrible thing, what Set says to him. Liem can hear the faint whisper of things another man might have said — had said in the past — to a discordantly similar tune, when the god agrees, when he says that he too is one such person.

Only I could love something like you, he might have told him. Only I could understand.

But despite his wickedness and his flaws, Set’s love has never made Liem feel worse. It is valuable, that he simply meets Liem where he is — by force, if he must. Even now, in his rage and his despair, he finds it in himself to just exist with Liem, solid and warm next to him in the quiet of his bedroom.]

Set, [Liem says, his breath muffled slightly against the curve of Set’s neck.] If I gave you something of mine to keep, would you wear it?

[ Closer still, Liem falls. Set wonders if he thinks of the man he mentioned once. His father, who haunts the shadows and dogs his memories and seeks to hold him captive and "love" him after molding him into a shape that is desirable. As if Liem as-is is not desirable, a stern and solemn man who seeks to do well by people even if it means becoming something unclean, unwholesome.

They're a little like one another, he and this man. More different than the same, but he does not relinquish the soft places where he finds Liem's fears and insecurities. He'd rather slip his claws into them and hook so deeply he leaves scars. What he asks from Liem is friendship. It takes no mandated form, and exists only as the spoken agreement: that yes, we are friends / yes, that means all that will come of it. ]

Of course I would.

[ He turns a little further into Liem. Body still primed for motion, forced into tense stillness. Like a stone rooted to the world itself, firm and unmoving, as he slips one hand free of where he cradle's Liem's fingers and slips it across his waist. To pull him in closer, mouth finding the spot high on the corner his forehead. One of the best places to rest one's mouth, to whisper against. A place known, divinely, as the temple. ]

Openly, too, if that would please you.

[If there is any part of Liem’s stoic, diligent persona that is riddled with cracks and weaknesses, it is his desire for connection with other people. He falters so easily when confronted with kindness, with offers of intimate care and understanding. Set’s claws have sunk in deep, and they won’t be slipping back out.

Just like his father’s teeth won’t be slipping out, despite Liem’s horror of the man.

Liem’s response to Set’s answer is to pull his hand gently free of his grasp, so that he can pull a slim golden ring from one of his pale fingers. The rest of his fingers are already entirely bare, given that he was just asleep — but although he saw fit to wear this ring even to bed, the delicate band, studded with chips of garnet, is not one that Liem has worn previously, even as recently as during the Oracle trial.

To one who has a nose for such things, the ring smells faintly of magic.]

Then, will you wear this?

[ He does not expect the thing that Liem hopes he'd wear to be taken from his own hand. The scent of magic soft upon it, unknown in quality but unmistakable, as he takes the thin piece between his fingers and looks at it. For a moment, he turns it over around the tip of his finger, thumb working over the gems curiously. He measures it, and finds that it fits well over the smallest of his fingers — he is a little larger, broader, than Liem.

Without a word, he slips it down to the root of his finger, and crooks it up so that the other man can see where he's placed it. Proof of given word, and evidence that he meant what he said. ]

This is a new piece.

[ He knows Liem likes beautiful things, ornate clothing and accessories. They share an earring pair, one of Set's most thoughtful of gifts to someone else in recent times. ]

[Help, this is funny.

It's true that Gen was extremely sparse on details, but of course Gen was. This is why D came to Liem, to see if he could put the pieces together. And he's sure Gen would immediately accuse him of taking Liem's side... as Gen already halfway tried to do with assumptions.

Although D has never looked much more than placid usually, it's surprising to see how terribly dark D's face grows with the explanation. Something happens in Liem's quaint room: the shadows at the corners begin to slowly churn, the presence of them rumbles, they stretch inward and bend toward D. Liem can feel the iron weight of familiar, old power. A red haze is just barely noticeable where D is sitting, around him. And then, suddenly, it is gone. The haze, the creeping shadows, the weight.

The disappointment and judgement in him is almost palpable. Gen's bar is so low, but Set? He's so disappointed right now. Why is this so messy?

However, in a heavy and quiet voice:]

I see. Gen should learn to fight his own battles, in that case. This does not concern me, and is the business between you three. I was only looking for a more clear story.

But I am here to talk about you attacking others for blood. That incident is my business. I believe it may have been a while ago.

[Liem shifts against Set only enough so that he can better see their hands, untucking his face from the warm crook of his shoulder in order to be more present in this moment. He watches quietly as the god completes his own small inspection — confident that Set will not suddenly refuse him, but still seized by a glimmer of pleasure when he sees the god slide the ring onto his smallest finger.

He cannot recall ever seeing Set wear finger jewellery before, but the colour of the stones and the gleam of the gold both suit him well.]

It is new, and old, [he says.] I had one just like it before I left my world behind. It used to sustain me with its magic.

[When he was too ill to eat, and too starved to rest. With it, he had not needed to endure his body’s fitful hunger or the heaviness of exhaustion from his sparse hours of rest — though the craving for blood had never gone away, even after all his other needs had subsided.]

I found this one in Highstorm’s markets — but I don’t actually need it anymore.

[Because he has Set to sustain him instead.]

[Given D’s unflappable, even gentle demeanour up to this point, Liem does not at all expect the reaction he receives to his explanation of how Gen had retrieved the shard. As the atmosphere in the room grows heavy with menace, the shadows seeming to roil and close in around them, his body winds tight with sudden anxiety, as though he might leap up and cling to the ceiling at any moment.

Even when the aura dissipates, leaving behind only deep disappointment, the nervous tension lingers. Truly nothing in Liem’s life has made him feel like more of a normal little guy than meeting this frightening man who has a human’s warmth and a human’s heartbeat, but who possesses a vampire lord’s horrifying power and presence.]

I don’t know who told you this thing, [he says warily.] There have been only two incidents that are as you describe, and both of them happened inside that greenhouse, in the second half of our time there.

The first was when I hunted down Silco, using the magic signature from my holy symbol, which he had been carrying with him throughout almost the entire event. I found him when he was alone and I took it from him — and, although this has never been a habit of mine, I also took his blood for the trouble.

The second was during the raid Hayame and I made on Zenith’s camp, in order to retrieve the faerie wing from it. She was fighting with Amos Burton when I slipped inside; since they were still fighting when I returned with the wing, and he had also dislocated one of her arms, I bit his throat before we made our exit.

[ The people of his land wore jewelry in various forms, with various meanings by social station or insular community; the gods wore ornate pieces, exquisite and intricate and often impossibly-crafted. Set had been a man of practical tastes. Plain golden bands, the weight of the broad collar around his throat. Things that served as emblems of his stature, but were understated and doubled as defense. To wear the delicate little ring upon his finger was a first. He would not even begin to imagine common connotations, beyond that it is something Liem saw fit to give to him.

A gift, from him. A bit like a claim, maybe. ( He does not want to misconstrue, does not want to pretend it is something more than it is. But, he thinks back to the afternoon spent burning the dead, to the weight of their suffering in his mind and mirrored on his body and the way Liem had gathered him into his arms and let him cry, shameful and vulnerable in a way divinity should never have been.

Set's generation was painfully human, in so many ways. Even now, as he tries to shed it and be stronger, wiser, better. A evil, wicked god. But a god for people, nonetheless. ) And right now, he is so — there is so much swimming within him. A clear agony, a visceral pain at the reminder of his son's broken life, the fragile clutch of the vow made together. The jars exist because Osiris did that to him. He brings Liem's hand up, to his mouth, holding the curl of his fingers in a way that keeps the ring caught against the light like a statement. ]

And you will be all right, without it? You cannot take it back now, you see.

[

He won't let him. It's too painful to think of things like love and gifts with such simple, yet intense, meaning.

Amidst the pain and wrath, he feels something that aches — hollowly, like a space that had rotted long ago being coaxed to remembrance. ]

[There is always a part of Liem that hesitates to give anything of his to another, worrying that they will find it undesirable or unworthy. To him, this ring represents a bulwark between him and the misery of keeping his body fed and rested when it only wished to reject attempts at care — but what does it represent to Set? Just a gift from Liem’s hands to his, which makes it all the more frightening. He cannot pretend such a thing could be refused on any merits but his own.

That is why, when Set says you cannot take it back … it’s not just pleasure that sweeps through him, but relief. To Set, at least, he continues to be a desired thing, coveted against all reason. Liem leans into the god and watches him in satisfaction as Set presses his lips against his hand.]

I do not need it. I propped myself up for over a century without the benefit of such magic; and now, I may lean upon you instead.

Over a century?

[ That is — a period of one hundred years, as he recalls.

Time is a difficult thing for him to keep track of, to be fair. Even in Kenos, where he is bound more to the ebb and flow of linear progress, his mind cannot grasp it without feeling strange, feeling untethered. Liem could be twenty-five, could be a century, could be twenty-five centuries and it would not quite be recognizable to Set; what he understands is that it is a long life, longer than most. That humans are often hunched and wrinkled and succeeded by generations of their own by the time a century has passed.

Slowly, he curls his legs onto the bed and shifts his hips. Drawing deeper into the mattress again, though he badly wants to pace. Wants to fling himself out the window and find his child in the dark of the abyss beyond the edge of the island. Right now, he has to lean into Liem. To press the line of his shoulder along the other man's and try, desperately, to allow himself comfort and understanding. To remain. ]

You are so young, yet older than most of your peers. A difficult position to find yourself in, I bet.

[ The back of his hand, ring gleaming, finds the plane of Liem's cheek. ]

— I am leaning upon you, too. Right now, most of all.

[Reading "harmless little nerd" while opening to reply to this thread currently is so hilarious.

Things really carry on like D didn't just now have a moment of triggering anger. It's fine. It's funny that Liem allowed this man to perform spa bondage when this is embedded somewhere deep within him.

D listens, but seems contemplative while Liem speaks. It was Dark who made an off-hand comment, so he's trying to figure out how Dark may play into only two instances when Dark is never mentioned. If D could put a name to Silco's face, he would not really hold much against Liem for Silco. In theory, even Silco shouldn't be attacked by vampires; however... after the event, D does not care for the person Silco is at all.

These didn't seem like simple, unprompted vampire attacks.]

I will take your word on it. [It's genuine, not like he's unconvinced.] I'd like to hear more about how vamprism works for you and your world.

[So he's not making assumptions.]

Would you be willing to make a deal with me?

It is.

[It is difficult. Liem can admit that as he follows Set further onto the bed, leaning into him, seeking the reassurance of his touch just as much as he attempts to give it. Two halves of an arch, propping each other upright.

Liem is young, really. The aches and pains he has suffered throughout his life have nothing to do with the age of his body. The silver in his hair is born of stress and hardship rather than the forward march of time. And for some people, like the elves of his home world, or the gods and other strange beings who are pulled to Kenos, he has not lived so very long at all.

But his people are human, and it is humans whom Liem has watched grow and age and wither around him for scores and scores of years. And that is hard.]

I enjoy so few constants in my life, Set.

[His head tips just enough for the soft curve of his mouth to brush against the back of Set’s hand.]

This, at least, I am pleased to provide.

[Liem when he met D like “oh, we’re the same” vs. Liem increasingly over the following months like “oh, we are not the same.” He’s a little scared by whatever D has going on. Can’t believe he sassed D while tying him up like it was no big deal…

In contrast to the story about him and Gen, which was embarrassing because it really was just a story about Liem being mean to a teenager and then getting beat up on two different occasions because of it, Liem seems much more straightforward about confessing to his indiscretions with biting unwilling people’s necks. He doesn’t seem completely unrepentant; he still acknowledges that it’s fucked up to feast on someone like a beast during a fight. However, he also feels like both parties legitimately had it coming, and he already intended to dissipate both of them regardless of method.]

I can tell you what I know, though I’ve had very little direct contact with vampires myself. And, my personal experience has actually changed in the time that I’ve been in Kenos.

[When he’d said it wasn’t his habit to bite people during a fight, that wasn’t just because it was beastly behaviour. But he’ll only get into that if D seems interested.]

What kind of deal do you mean?

[ Energy burns just under his skin, fraught and strained. He twists further into Liem, hands dropping to either sides of his hips, fingers inching forward across bedspread and mattress until Set's forearms bracket Liem's waist and he can bear his weight across him. Crooked against his chest, neck craning so that his mouth can find the gentle curve of the man's own. To draw tongue across the bottom lip and push the bridge of his nose across Liem's, forehead resting against his.

Trying to be in his space, to do something with his wild energy. ] Am I keeping you awake, now?

[ Even if he does not sleep, he won't tire. As a god, he is notably diminished, but the presence of the ring will assist him. More than that, it will mark him for Liem's eye. ]

I do not want to go.

[Liem wonders what kind of distraction Set had been seeking when he had first slithered noiselessly into his bed; if it was the same as the distraction he seems increasingly to be seeking now, as he comes gradually closer to caging Liem against the sheets. He is very aware of his own state of undress as Set’s body slides deliberately against his, heat and tension alike pouring from his skin. Equally aware of the pulse thumping feverishly beneath it, and of the taste of him when he finds Liem’s mouth with his own.]

You are, of course.

[He is leaning back on one hand now, but his other snakes up to find the fall of Set’s hair, to card through it as he presses a cool kiss against the corner of his mouth — gentle, but inquisitive. As distractions go, Liem has been a poor one thus far. But if Set wishes for a way to burn off his restless energy while he considers how best to move forward, this is something Liem can certainly accommodate. Though the god may currently be ignorant of this fact, he is well used to sleepless nights.]

But you do not need to leave.

[The very sweet boy in him mitigates the absolute terrifying horror... thankfully for Liem. And everyone else.]

I would still like to hear.

[Even better if Liem changed while in Kenos. D is interested in that, too, whether for better or worse. He is a nerd at heart. His eyes lift to settle on Liem's face.]

If you ever become out of hand, whether intentionally or unintentionally, and begin attacking others, you will allow me to kill you. [No sugarcoating.] Similarly, if I become out of hand and begin attacking others, I will allow you to kill me as well.

[There's a bit of nuance here to this probably, but the gist of the idea is the same. They each have a mutual understanding of what it's like when either of them goes truly sicko mode. Liem also doesn't have to accept the deal.]

[It’s probably telling that Liem’s only immediate reaction to D’s proposed murder deal is thoughtful consideration. He understands why the man would bring it up, and he doesn’t disagree; he doesn’t wish for innocents to be harmed because of what he is, and he is more than willing to believe that the same is true for D as well.

A year ago, he wouldn’t have thought such a future could happen for him, at least here in Kenos. With his father gone, vanished with the world he’d left behind, there was no real risk of him being made into what he was. Now, though, he isn’t so confident. Kenos has enforced its own strange trajectory on him, one he doesn’t know how to arrest.]

Are you suggesting that, if I rejected your deal, you would stay your hand if I were to start hunting people?

[This seems unlikely to Liem, given the man’s rather pointed interest in what had happened between him and the others he’d fought with in the greenhouse. That incident is my business, he had said.]

Or are you just seeking someone to be accountable to? I’m not sure I could kill you, Dee.

[Not alone, anyway.]

[Liem knows him so well...]

I wouldn't.

[He'll just be honest. The people here are not entirely like the dichotomy of the Frontier. There are more than only humans and vampires going at one another. So he has to walk a finer line in allowing stronger people to fight their own battles.

Humans and innocents are still a different story.]

But it's better if you are aware before a situation like that happens.

[It's better they have a conversation about it, he thinks, than for him to show up in Liem's doorway with his sword drawn.]

This place has subdued many of the ways my body has been made. It would be difficult, but not impossible. I've hunting vampires for a long time, and the day when I attack others for their blood is the day I will also be hunted.

You understand how that goes.

[How civil of D, to visit Liem just to tell him “hey, if you start wilding out for real, I will kill you.” Very neighbourly. Liem is, in fact, not surprised by this at all, although he cannot say he has any direct experience with vampire-hunting or the threat of being hunted himself. (Aside from by paranoid, trigger-happy villagers, whom he has encountered many of in the past century of his life, actually. But hostile mobs running him out of town aren’t the same as someone being hired to kill him.)]

Hm.

[It’s actually kind of scary that D as he is now has been made less powerful than he’s used to being. Liem doesn’t know in what ways he’s been “subdued,” but it just strengthens his suspicion that D is actually Not Like Him At All, at least in terms of his physiology. Admittedly, their traumas and mindsets probably have some significant overlap.

He decides to tell D about at least one of the things he asked after.]

When I first arrived here, about a year ago, I was not much different from how a human in my situation would be. My senses have always been better. Certain powers and magics affect me strangely. But I was not in the habit of drinking blood, and for the most part, I lived as a human man.

[He makes it sound simple, but D had not had the opportunity to meet Liem before he’d begun drinking blood regularly. He always looked tired and ill, in those days. The lack did not ever force him to drink, but it had affected him nonetheless.]

After a month or so, I was dissipated for the first time. [He didn’t die, really… but he kind of died. Anyway, he got better.] Several weeks after that, a friend let me drink from him. Since then, I’ve noticed… I regenerate quicker from wounds. Whenever I drink blood, I get a little stronger. And if I don’t drink again, I suffer a terrible withdrawal, almost debilitating. After a while, I started being able to cling to walls and ceilings, too.

None of that has ever happened to me before.

[ There is a miserable sort of fondness in him; an ache, as he finds himself increasingly attached to lives he never really would have, had he never come to Kenos. He finds most people difficult to settle with, to find something within them that resonates strongly and invites his attention. Whatever Liem Talbott is made of, it sinks within him easily and simply. Causes his chest to constrict and his heart to flutter, as he slides his hands down to Liem's waist, to his hips. Pushes himself into him and spreads him back against his own mattress. ]

Are you still haunted by what you see in the shadows, Liem?

[ By his father, he means. By someone who sounds so like Osiris.

The non sequitur might seem abrupt, but Set's mind has always juggled multiple things with ease. And he flits from topic to topic without a break in his own logic, sweeping his warm hands across Liem's belly as he bows his head into those cool fingers, touching him gently. Another kiss, and he extends a hand out to the empty space in the room — curling his fingers as a burst of Meridian's light flickers in his eyes. Soft starlight begins to illuminate the room, the scent of foreign spices and the murmur of a voice — a woman's deep, husky voice singing a lullaby in a foreign, dead language. ]

I will stay. I do not think I can sleep, but — my thoughts are quieter, with you.

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cw: emotional manipulation mention

nOOOOOO WIEM

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"and how long have you been seventeen"

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a while 😔

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