redsoil: (pic#16810985)
𓃩 ("cosmically impossible to fix") ([personal profile] redsoil) wrote in [personal profile] sterngaze 2024-01-07 02:28 am (UTC)

[ Liem's hesitant admission is, to Set, more than he can bear.

It is practical, to offer his blessing as a god to those he prides. Those he considers highly. Hayame bears it as a warrior. Dimitri bears it as a warrior. Rudbeckia bears it because she is to be protected. Liem — Liem would bear it, because he knows the burden of a god's consideration and care. Because... Liem, like Set, knows the agony of always, always being alone. Alone even in a crowded room. Alone and different. Alone and isolated. Alone and strange, a part of one world ( two worlds, three worlds? ) and yet not really belonging to any of them.

A god who looks in upon his own kind, because he was made for wrongness and a man born of two halves that make a painful, unloveable whole. ]


I think, [ he murmurs, ] that people do not deserve to be alone even if they are difficult.

[ Color builds in his face. It is a hard emotion to describe, made harder still because he cannot act unselfish. Cannot look upon Liem's welfare and freely give something, but must rationalize it as a thing that benefits him. And it does, it always has. He benefits others, too. Power, authority, information...

Set is difficult. He has always wanted ( begged, pleaded, gasped and cried and mourned for it — ) to be loved, even so. Maybe that, in the end, is why he loves the most difficult people in Kenos; why he cares so much for the unloveable, the most frightened of them, the ones who push him back and run away, the ones for whom loving and being loved was never a reality. ]


I told you, in that broken church: unlike anyone else in this world, I will truly accept you. You said I could call on you, in my time of need. You can do that, too. I want to give you the things you can barely stand to admit to yourself, let alone anyone. The things you think will finally be too much — a step that carries you too far, beyond what other people can forgive and forget and rationalize. I want you to know, without a doubt, that nothing you do or say will take you beyond me. I can do that, so accept me.

Post a comment in response:

(will be screened)
(will be screened if not validated)
If you don't have an account you can create one now.
HTML doesn't work in the subject.
More info about formatting

If you are unable to use this captcha for any reason, please contact us by email at support@dreamwidth.org