[She does not want to see... and yet she has to try and see now in order to ascertain what is being said... and her desire for privacy wars with the fact that desire or not, the secret has been ripped open and spread all about no matter how she might have wished it hadn't. She cannot hide it now or deny it. So what... But she also cannot allow even the slightest potential misunderstanding that-]
It is not...
Even though I knew... Even though he said he would claim me proudly and openly... I am the one who asked him not to. He respected that, even though... I doubt any other women would have asked him to do so.
[Any other woman... would surely treat him better than she does, so why- Why is that foolish man-]
I do not doubt that he would respect it now, too, if I asked him. Even if it is now so pointless to try.
[But she's just so...]
...
I was not... I am not something that was ever intended to be a lover. Or a partner.
[... Liem understands, that, doesn't he? (She does not even realize she said "something" and not "someone".)]
no subject
It is not...
Even though I knew... Even though he said he would claim me proudly and openly... I am the one who asked him not to. He respected that, even though... I doubt any other women would have asked him to do so.
[Any other woman... would surely treat him better than she does, so why- Why is that foolish man-]
I do not doubt that he would respect it now, too, if I asked him. Even if it is now so pointless to try.
[But she's just so...]
...
I was not... I am not something that was ever intended to be a lover. Or a partner.
[... Liem understands, that, doesn't he? (She does not even realize she said "something" and not "someone".)]