[What terrible irony, that Liem would struggle to conceive of Set’s attentions as divine when he is receiving his blessing, only for the thought to loom large as soon as the nature of his feelings came into question. Liem is silent as the god speaks, not wishing to pass judgment rashly one way or the other.
But in the heart of him, he knows he is not happy.]
I understand the nature of your conviction, [is what he says. He does not disagree that shedding one’s altruistic desires might help them pursue victory with more focus.
At what cost, though? He is loath to contemplate it, given the die has been cast regardless. Perhaps Set can still atone, even if he can learn nothing from his penance. Perhaps it will even be enough, in the eyes of his son.
When Set first sought him out months ago, Liem had agreed to give him his counsel. That had been the beginning of their arrangement, before the god had demanded more. Offered more. Only, now, Liem finds himself balking at the necessity of answering Set’s question. As the lines between priestly consultant and close companion blur, he realizes too late that they also seem to be closing around him like strands of a net.
He does not quite know what else to say.]
I would like to believe this is of no concern to me.
[But he is not sure that he does. And at least, if he does believe it makes no difference, it is only because he didn’t really expect to be loved, truly loved, in the first place. But of what comfort is that?]
no subject
But in the heart of him, he knows he is not happy.]
I understand the nature of your conviction, [is what he says. He does not disagree that shedding one’s altruistic desires might help them pursue victory with more focus.
At what cost, though? He is loath to contemplate it, given the die has been cast regardless. Perhaps Set can still atone, even if he can learn nothing from his penance. Perhaps it will even be enough, in the eyes of his son.
When Set first sought him out months ago, Liem had agreed to give him his counsel. That had been the beginning of their arrangement, before the god had demanded more. Offered more. Only, now, Liem finds himself balking at the necessity of answering Set’s question. As the lines between priestly consultant and close companion blur, he realizes too late that they also seem to be closing around him like strands of a net.
He does not quite know what else to say.]
I would like to believe this is of no concern to me.
[But he is not sure that he does. And at least, if he does believe it makes no difference, it is only because he didn’t really expect to be loved, truly loved, in the first place. But of what comfort is that?]