[The instinct to close the door once Liem departs is there… but she does not, in the end. It feels foolish. After all, he has already seen most everything… and there is no one else in the house who might. Plus, it’s his house to begin with, and she thinks to lock him out??? He’s the one doing her a favor…
But once he has disappeared around the corner, she does drop some of the embarrassment… and reveals only to herself the fear and discomfort that had been lurking underneath. In the mirror she checks her face, and it looks the same, but there is somehow scared and weak looking in her eyes that she doesn’t like as she looks at her chest, watches herself breathe but ears internally with the sensation that it isn’t enough, she’s not breathing hard enough… Her hand goes to a breast and presses down, trying to feel for the second heartbeat she has always had but it’s not there, because of course it’s not, she only had one now, but-
Real humans couldn’t feel like this. Cramped and confined in their own bodies, like they had shoved themself into too-small clothing and couldn’t now get out. If she wasn’t careful she’d hyperventilate, she’d panic, and she can’t do that because it’s not even sensible and if she can’t master this form then what was the point—]
1/2
But once he has disappeared around the corner, she does drop some of the embarrassment… and reveals only to herself the fear and discomfort that had been lurking underneath. In the mirror she checks her face, and it looks the same, but there is somehow scared and weak looking in her eyes that she doesn’t like as she looks at her chest, watches herself breathe but ears internally with the sensation that it isn’t enough, she’s not breathing hard enough… Her hand goes to a breast and presses down, trying to feel for the second heartbeat she has always had but it’s not there, because of course it’s not, she only had one now, but-
Real humans couldn’t feel like this. Cramped and confined in their own bodies, like they had shoved themself into too-small clothing and couldn’t now get out. If she wasn’t careful she’d hyperventilate, she’d panic, and she can’t do that because it’s not even sensible and if she can’t master this form then what was the point—]