Sickened by himself, for had he not also whispered to Liem while curled in his lap, that he hoped they would have a relationship that was not transactional. That a price did not have to be paid by either of them. And then, he had given up the ability to truly make that a reality. Now, he had to get something from Liem. More than that, he wanted something from Liem — the acknowledgment, the companionship, the affection and trust. Why were those things he should not ask for? Why should he accept "nothing" as a valid response, as if Liem himself did not represent the whole of himself? ]
"You cannot refrain from one and still provide the other."
[ Liem had said that to him, and then — he had come back to him. Back from the comfort of Zenith, as he regained his hope.
His nose feels full. Why is it that he always ends up crying so pitifully around the people that matter to him, in Kenos? Set has always been such a sentimental thing, hiding the truth of himself behind harsh masks and determination and cruelty. Really, he's a huge romantic, a creature that wants to be loved and accepted, who has room to be himself and known.
( Even if I disappoint you, in the end? ) ]
Even if. Even so.
[ He sniffles, grossly and hates himself for it. Buries his face low in Liem's shirt collar and pretends like he's not about to leave a trail of tears and warm breath soaking the nice fabric. ]
I will not refrain from choosing you. Because I want — I want you to choose me too, for the same reasons you think you are not... worth it.
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Sickened by himself, for had he not also whispered to Liem while curled in his lap, that he hoped they would have a relationship that was not transactional. That a price did not have to be paid by either of them. And then, he had given up the ability to truly make that a reality. Now, he had to get something from Liem. More than that, he wanted something from Liem — the acknowledgment, the companionship, the affection and trust. Why were those things he should not ask for? Why should he accept "nothing" as a valid response, as if Liem himself did not represent the whole of himself? ]
"You cannot refrain from one and still provide the other."
[ Liem had said that to him, and then — he had come back to him. Back from the comfort of Zenith, as he regained his hope.
His nose feels full. Why is it that he always ends up crying so pitifully around the people that matter to him, in Kenos? Set has always been such a sentimental thing, hiding the truth of himself behind harsh masks and determination and cruelty. Really, he's a huge romantic, a creature that wants to be loved and accepted, who has room to be himself and known.
( Even if I disappoint you, in the end? ) ]
Even if. Even so.
[ He sniffles, grossly and hates himself for it. Buries his face low in Liem's shirt collar and pretends like he's not about to leave a trail of tears and warm breath soaking the nice fabric. ]
I will not refrain from choosing you. Because I want — I want you to choose me too, for the same reasons you think you are not... worth it.