[She can't help but ask, even as she struggles with the first aid kit... and even as she realizes that maybe it is alright to believe that he isn't downplaying things. It was just her teeth, she hadn't savaged his arm while biting, just pierced, so it was probably... He wasn't lying, it was more the loss of blood, wasn't it? Furrowing her brows, swallowing again and again to try and clear the taste of said blood from her mouth, she finally manages to make her sharp claws flick open the catch, pulling out... okay, her vial of balm for wounds, and bandages...]
Let me see...
[Holding his arm and awkwardly dragging his hand she's connected to along with her movements, Konoha peeks under the towel to check if the pressure has done anything... but it needs another moment, and she presses it back down firmly against his wrist, holding for another minute in silence, her body buzzing with the manna she'd taken from him, laced with the manna he'd received from others. She almost opens her mouth to ask why Liem doesn't heal himself, like he had insisted he was able to in the cold of that unnatural blizzard they'd once found themselves warming from. Those spells that he said would only hurt her but somehow soothed him... But she can't, can she? Her gaze goes to the Gembindings on their wrists and feels a little twist of guilt, another urge to apologize... But he already knew she was sorry.]
... What were you going to do, if I didn't... if I wasn't good... ?
[If she hadn't managed to stop. If she'd dug her teeth in more savagely to his arm and refused to let go before draining him dry? As her voice creaks out to ask, she peels the towel away as gently as she can and awkwardly scrapes some of the balm out of its container, beginning to smear it over his pale, punctured skin.]
[Liem does his best to not encumber Konoha's movements with his shackled hand as she pries the first aid kit open and takes out the container of balm. Now that he's sitting down, the blood loss and the beginnings of an adrenaline crash weigh down both his limbs and his eyelids, making him yearn to nestle against her and doze just for a short while. But even if it was safe to relax so completely with her right now, he wouldn't be able to do so while his arm still needs tending.
Her question settles quietly over him, occupying his thoughts while he submits to her cautious ministrations. The touch of balm on his wounds makes him blow out a slow, measured breath, but that's all the concession he makes to the sting. After a while, he speaks thoughtfully.]
I suppose I was just putting my faith in you, and trusting that you wouldn't slip beyond reason.
[That was the choice he'd decided to make when he shackled himself to her instead of simply binding both of her wrists. He was deciding to believe in the bindings' power to protect Konoha's mind, and in Konoha's inherent desire to protect the people she loves from harm.]
If I thought it was necessary to use force in order to protect myself, I would have put both of the shackles on you. But I don't think it is. And I think by placing you in a position where you need to keep control in order to assure my safety, it will make doing so easier for you.
[To him, that's worth it. He's been where Konoha is now: struggling against his own thirst and his desire to throw away everything else he cares for in order to sate it. There is comfort to be found in being kept in check by someone you trust—but it's a hollow comfort, when it has to contend with the knowledge that you've sunk low enough to demand such intervention. He doesn't want to inflict that knowledge on her if he can help it, and he believes that he can.]
[Just putting faith in her. He says it so simply that it humbles her, her shoulders rounding as if she could somehow make her towering Wechuge form smaller, more harmless. Her fingers continue to gently work, shaky but careful of her talons as she rubs the balm over the four canine fang marks in his flesh and then awkwardly unrolls a bandage to begin wrapping it over the wounds. Her tail (oh, she still has a tail, just cervid and weird and stubby) twitches, and though she tries...
It's hard to make eye contact with him. Not because she thinks he'll judge her, or that he was upset, but because she can see a faint reflection of her silhouette in them, topped with spiked antlers. She'd grabbed a hold of antlers like that before, when something shaped like Liem had pinned her to the forest floor and sank its teeth into her neck.
But she makes herself look.]
I love that you trusted me, but... I want you to value your life a little bit more, also...
[Now that her mind and body have been settled by the combination of gembindings and having her cravings sated by a stomach full of blood and manna, she almost feels like she could maybe touch him without biting, and she wants to, if only to press a bit of manna back into him, but... in this monstrous shape? For now, she pauses in her bandage wrapping to use the tips of a claw to sort through the foodstuffs she'd dragged over in her haste, rolling a bottle of tea and a meat-stuffed riceball she'd made with her dinner leftovers from the previous night up against his thigh.]
Here... Eat, please...
[It would help with the blood loss, right? P... rotein? And hydrating... It's all she can think to do while she finishes with the bandage work, giving him as much slack as she can to move his own hand when he needs it.]
And then I- I have something for you, too...
[Nothing that could compare to what he had gifted her, the silver key dangling now from her neck, but. Maybe... Something a bit darkly appropriate.]
[Liem isn't so heedless of his own well-being that he wouldn't feel at least a little guilty when Konoha says she wants him to value his life more. His lips press together in the beginnings of an abashed frown, and though he doesn't look away from the gaze it seemed so hard for her to aim at him, the back of his neck warms slightly with shame.
As much as he wants to argue that he does have a care for his own life, he can't deny that he was gambling with it when he decided to shackle himself to her. She had been prepared to let him bind both her wrists, and if he had, it would have been a simple matter to defend himself if the need had arisen. But he chose not to, because he believed he could help Konoha without forcing her to endure those indignities. And no matter how confident he was that she wouldn't put his life at risk, he couldn't know for certain that she wouldn't lose control.
He'd promised her when he came back to Noctium that he would have more of a care for his own safety, and here he is, already making her doubt his word.]
I fully intend to go back home one day, Konoha. I didn't decide to place my trust in you on a whim.
[He reaches for her hand so he can give her fingers a brief squeeze, before retrieving the offered riceball and taking a careful nibble from it. His gaze drifts across to the long box sitting nearby—a box that he's quite certain he doesn't recognize.]
As much as she hates that the fingers he squeezes, that she squeezes back, feel too long and too sharp, warped by the foul transformation that craves a diet unnatural to her, it still counted. It was still enough to prompt her to nod, slow, and murmur,]
… Good.
[It was a promise for her, too. She had to be worthy of that trust he had put in her, even in this shape.
Honestly, she probably could have finished her bandaging work faster… but she takes her time (and okay, some of it was claw-borne clumsiness) and waits to finish until she’s made sure Liem has consumed at least half of what she offered him. Even though she knew he supposedly didn’t have to eat that much… it seemed smart to now. Unlike usual… she can’t help him with what he doesn’t want to finish. The only part of that little meal that interests her is the meat filling.
But she’s fine, she’s full (for now), and when she finally does finish the last little tuck and tie… It’s that exact box she reaches for.]
I’m taking Liem’s pendant home with me.
[She is. She will. And if something about interworld travel could be made possible through willpower alone, it seemed she would do it. They have exchanged gifts before, the Brumfast books she had put in his hands had been the work of Summoning Stone as well, but something… something that might be on his person, that had that chance to maybe, just maybe go back with him… So what if his network device and things from this world hadn’t? This was from her world, one of five fine gifts her boss had once commissioned as a present (bribe) for the local lords…
Her claws click on the unvarnished wooden box with its simple silk cord tie as she transfers it to Liem’s lap.]
So you have to take this back with you… and use it to survive.
[Inside… a fine tanto blade with a polished shark leather hilt in an even finer sheath that was decorated with gold lacquer and subtly engraved flowers.]
[For once, Liem doesn’t protest Konoha’s attempt to get him to eat; he simply nibbles obediently at the riceball, eating it with the same painstaking deliberateness with which she carefully bandages his arm. Maybe it’s the bloodloss, or maybe it’s the residual effects of his own sanguine snack just days earlier, but gradually he manages to summon something close to a real appetite. He’s rarely had the chance to really appreciate it, but Konoha’s cooking is quite nice, and by the time she’s finished with his arm, the riceball is more than half gone.
But he still has no trouble setting it down for a moment to investigate the box instead. His clawed fingers play curiously over the silk cord as she explains what he’s meant to do with this unexpected gift. Seeing no reason to play coy, he slides the box open—and gazes in stunned silence at the lacquered sheath resting inside.]
Where did you get this…?
[Mindful of the cuffs binding them, and of his bandaged arm, he reaches carefully inside and lifts the sheathed blade from its box. The leather is of a kind he hasn’t seen before, and the decoration on the sheath keeps his eye lingering over its golden length. He turns it this way and that before sliding the tanto free and inspecting the blade. It looks razor sharp.]
[To think, all she had to do this whole time to get Liem to eat more than a few bites was drain a (thankfully-much-smaller-than-a-jinba's) stomach's worth of blood out of him...
As much as she almost wants to just curl around him then, slink closer and try to return the manna she'd stolen even if she can't return the blood, for now Konoha sits awkwardly with her bizarre legs tucked up, cervid hooves scraping in the reeds of her bedding and trying to just hide one clawed hand under a pillow while leaving the other free to move with his where they were linked by the Gembindings.
Even with the lingering guilt and horror of what she'd done, done to him, charitably weakened by how he had gifted what her urges required rather than force her to try and take them, Konoha is still somewhat innocently eager to see his reaction, hoping that he will like what she picked for him. Each of the five blades commissioned had been different, and she'd tried her best to select which one she thought would fit best...]
I used some of Lady Red's summoning stones...
[Carefully saved for such needs over months and months, and finally...]
A year before I got married... my boss was trying to get an official license to sell lumber in Toyama... That's, ah, the castle town where the domain lord lives... and if she could get one, she'd be the only jinba who ever did... and then maybe we could have even sold to the lord himself...
[All very prestigious things, in a world and society like hers where rank and class meant so much. She can remember it so clearly, because she'd respected Sha Gozen her entire life, looking up to the older jinba as... essentially, the only role model she'd ever had that was her own race, let alone a woman in their world succeeding in such a way. Someone who had taken her under wing and took a chance on employing her, even promoting her over humans despite how some men on the yard had disagreed...]
I went with her to commission this... and four others. They were gifts for the local magistrates, the highway checkpoint commissioner, the estate administrators... For "consideration", you know. I thought they were such fine things, but those men are so rich, they probably just ended sitting in their storehouses somewhere or displayed in some side room...
[And alright, she maybe found it... just a little bit funny in an ironic sort of way to take something that had essentially been a bribe, reclaim it, and give it to a Taxmaster of all people, but...
For a moment, she forgets that she's shaped like a Wechuge and has a belly full of blood, enough that her shoulders round and she smiles, pulling her clawed hand out from under the cushion to point at the blade's hilt, and the tiny golden menuki ornament on the hilt in the shape of a lion-dog.]
I like the flowers on this one, but I liked this part, too... It's a koma-inu... a guardian spirit.
[Although Konoha is reluctant to move from her awkward position on the bed of reeds, Liem doesn’t let her lurk by herself while he accepts her gift. He sets the box itself aside, sheathes the blade again and, making sure his half-eaten riceball doesn’t roll off of his lap, shifts closer so he can nestle more comfortably against her side. Close enough to benefit from her body heat, and to more easily look together at the tiny ornament on the blade’s grip.]
A guardian?
[He raises his eyebrows as he looks at the golden shape, taking in the finely-wrought details. He’s never been entirely sure how Red’s summoning stones actually work when it comes to one-of-a-kind possessions. If he really does bring this home with him one day, will it vanish from some lord’s manor in Konoha’s country? Or is it just a perfect copy that only he and Konoha need know about? It seems a shame that such a well-crafted blade would really be just sitting around in someone’s house. He asks curiously,]
Even with what she’d done… He scoots closer, up against her side, without her asking or trying to reach for him first. He had assured her in words that he would forgive her, and it wasn’t that she hadn’t believed him, but. The simple action just makes it so much clear to her, and her hearts (heart) swells, tears springing back to her eyes as she stays shaky still until he gets comfortable. She won’t cry again, she won’t-
But she will lift a warped hand to rub at the back of her eyes, mumbling a bit wetly through the first part of her explanation.]
They, um… They guard sacred places like shrines and temples… for the gods…
[She wants to touch back, but… The rules. Should she still not hold him close? Her clawed hands flex and splay witn want to grip and embrace, she almost leans in towards his shoulder or the top of his head, but her antlers…
It’s an awkward sort of squiggling, wriggling her haunches back a bit and lying on her the side so that she can sort of curl her elongated and bonier body around him, but she manages to eventually get her arms loosely looped over one of his legs, her cheek on his thigh and knee. There, now she could touch without poking…
And her claws can gently reach to move his hand, showing the matching menuki on the other side of the hilt, one with mouth open and one closed, one with a horn and one with a liondog pup at its side.]
One is male and one is female… and they’re stone most of the time, but when the gods command they can come to life and protect the villagers or the shrine priests… They’re fiercest when they’re defending something.
[She feels the key press between her breasts and his leg. Manages a smile, even if it came with a hint of sharper fangs.]
Like me and Liem.
[So even if it was technically stealing… She’s fine with it this time.]
[Liem gathers his rice ball closer to himself as Konoha moves to curl about him, draping carefully over his legs. His attention on her is keen as she fights back the watery sound of her explanation; until he's satisfied that she doesn't need to be consoled about something, he forgets about actually finishing his food. The rice ball sits neglected in his lap while he lets her show him the hilt's other side.]
You think so?
[He smiles down at her, releasing the sheathed blade for a moment to reach over and stroke her hair. He's always been reluctant to think of himself as a protector, but the thought makes warmth bloom in his chest. But in a very broad sense, he supposes he's defending what he loves every time he raises a weapon against any man or monster. He just has to get better about protecting himself, too.]
I suppose you're right. But I'm happy to be stone most of the time.
[It fits the both of them, as emeralds: biding patiently until the time they might be needed. A quiet life means there is nothing to defend from, and that sounds just fine to him.]
[She thought so. That was for certain. Liem had always seemed like a protector in her eyes, even if he hadn’t seen himself that way. He had protected her feelings the very first time they’d met, reverently transcribing the emotional words of a stranger and allowing her the dignity of keeping his eyes to paper so that she might cry without shame. Protected her actual life, in the snow spattered with lupine, dhampir, and jinba blood. Provided that protection again to a lonely heart, in words of forgiveness, soft sheets, and a bedroom aglow with flickering candlelight. And now that she knew it all… Didn’t he protect everyone in his own world, too? Even if he was one who moved in the shadows… he protected the teachings of his church, and now, the potential peace and future of an entire country.
But she… she’d protected him, too. When she’d looked into his inhuman eyes that very first time, beneath the trees in that Primaveran garden, and not seen anything at all that would make her want to reject him. When she’d pulled him from the deathly grip of the Balleymallet lake. When she’d placed a too-real dream of her daughter in his arms…
They always came out even eventually.]
So this one is you… and this one is me. Even after you go home.
[As his fingers stroke through her hair, and Konoha gently clicks her claws over the blade to turn it back and forth, switching from the male komainu to the female and child, she realizes that she isn’t quite as hyper aware of his pulse as she had been. The belly full of blood had worked to help sate her urges, and combined with the weakening of the Gembindings taking further hold…
In her natural form, she would be dismayed to sense her body weakening in such a way, but like this… she’s relieved to feel her limbs growing a bit clumsier, slower, curling the tall, gangly shape around his back and squeezing lightly on his knee with her arms and around the back of his hips with the curve of her hip and cervid legs. Good. Let her be weakened, made docile enough to hopefully continue controlling herself. To ponder the meaning, in this case, of stone. To not be needed to take up arms and protect, to have peace…
Her lips curl into a smile, finding just a bit of playfulness.]
I like it when Liem is hard as stone, too…
[… Which is surely just a reference to being at peace, in this context, right? Except… she’s reaching for his lap? Is it actually a lewd innuendo, at a time like this, in the form she found so obviously twisted and unappealing? Her clawed fingers splay, she nuzzles into his thigh, she moves down to grab-
The half-finished rice ball, a curl of her bony wrist offering it back up to him on her palm.]
Can you finish it this time… For me? Just in case… Then I’ll let you rest, I promise…
[And then she can take the role of protector while he sleeps. Even if it was just protecting him from her.]
[Slowly Liem curls his fingers back around the lacquered sheath, his thumb stroking along the bleached leather of the blade's hilt. It's not the only gift Konoha has given him from her own world, nor is it the only thing she's given him that made him feel… lighter. Like a better version of himself: a protector, a caregiver, someone to miss during quiet evenings, worthy of trusting with precious things. And someone worth taking care of. Maybe it's because this isn't the first such gift she's given him that it makes his chest tighten so treacherously.]
Thank you, Konoha.
[He stares tenderly down at the little ornaments, tracing the contours of the mother with her cub. At the slide of Konoha's hand, he aims a questioning look her way, his soft smile quirking with amusement.]
When did you become such a tease?
[Despite his playfully accusing question, he doesn't hesitate to take the offered rice ball from her hand. He sets the blade carefully aside, laying it reverently on the bed of reeds, and cups the bit of food obediently in his clawed fingers. But he hesitates before moving to finish the rest of it, looking down at Konoha's playful gaze. Should he even ask this? His lips firm briefly with indecision before he opens them.]
After I finish, will you let me comb your hair for you?
[He doesn't need to thank her, and she doesn't say "you're welcome"... instead, just smiling a little against his thigh, curling a bit tighter around him. She may have given him gifts before, in the year and some that they have known each other, but this time... his thanks for her will be carrying the blade on his person. Books of poetry, a carefully crafted linden tree... they were signs of affection, to be sure, but this time-
This time she wants it to be with him always, until there hopefully came a day... that he didn't need a blade any longer. Then... She wouldn't mind so badly if it just came to be displayed on a mantelpiece. The necklace he had pressed into her palm... she wants it to stay there, until the day came when wrinkled hands would shakily undo the clasp and redo it around the neck of a daughter or son.
When he asks his playful question, she's just tamed enough by the Gembindings to almost blush, half hiding her face in his trousers and looking up at him with a little curl at the corners of her lips.]
I've actually always been a tease, I think...
[It was just that the only one who had known was Gonta, once upon a time. Yet now, gently released from the lonely standards she'd struggled to hold herself to... She was allowed to say such things to a lover, wasn't she? On normal days. Even on days when she felt twisted and a little bit hideous. ... Even if this time, she genuinely did more just want him to finish the rice ball.
She hadn't quite expected he'd want to comb her hair, though. He has learned well enough that in her culture, a woman just letting her hair down in front of a man was a rather intimate thing, could be an invitation as clear as anything... this time, her mane is disheveled by her antlers, strands trapped in a point here, tangled here... And her clawed hand reaches, taking advantage of the unnaturally elongated limb to reach under her nearby pillow and come back with a simple boxwood comb and a small vial of oil...
Which she deposits in his lap.]
... After you finish.
[... Did Liem like that kind of thing? She scoots the comb a little bit, thinking of her usual nighttime routine. It felt good brushing her own hair, relaxing and unwinding from the day, and so... Even though a part of her felt undeserving of a little pleasure like that, when she'd been the one to feed off him... He asked.]
[Liem smiles down at Konoha as she peers up at him from his lap. Despite her strangely shaped limbs and fresh rack of antlers, despite the wounds now hidden beneath the bandages on his arm, he can't bring himself to fear the woman who is curled so carefully about him. Just as she looks at him and sees a protector, when Liem looks at her, he is reminded of the kindnesses she's done him and the times she's saved him—whether it was from Noctium's dangers or from himself. He has every confidence in his decision to trust her with his safety, even now.
With that in mind, he obediently returns to eating the rice ball she's given him, favouring his injured arm to let it rest. Although the injury she's done to his body is far gentler than the savage bite he'd inflicted upon her last fall, she deserves the opportunity to make up for it in some way. He'd already forgiven her regardless, but he still acknowledges the ritual importance of the gesture.]
I haven't had many opportunities to do something like this.
[Once he's finished with his food, he picks up the little vial of oil and turns it gently in his fingers with a clicking of claws against glass. It's been decades since he's had longer hair of his own to care for, and even longer since any woman allowed him to help care for hers. But even if it goes beyond suggestive teasing for him to help her in this way, he'd rather be bold than expect her to take care of her hair herself with her body in its current state.]
But your hair is so lovely. It would be a shame to leave it untended.
[Konoha is humbled by his trust in a way she isn't sure she can articulate with words. Though her regret for having injured him, drunk from him, lingers... the blood has settled in her stomach and made her sleepier and complacent, and without the urges haunting her... She feels a little bit more worthy of it. A little bit more capable of staying in control. Whether that lasted past the morning when the Gembindings lost their power, or she'd need to drink again...]
She tries not to think about it. Now now. For a moment, she just closes her eyes and listens to him eat, glad and relieved, until she hears claws click on the vial of oil. Shifting in anticipation, she tries to get her neck and head into a more comfortable position in reach of his hands, move her own closer so the bindings won't limit him. As much as she'd like to simply sit herself down in front of him... She's still so tall in this gangly form, she has to stay more down, but maybe...]
Mmm… There’s so many nice products here, and time to take even better care of it…
[It was more lustrous here than her own world, that was for sure, yet-]
I do like having help with it, though… my tail, more, maybe, but…
[As perfectly capable as she was of tending to her mane by herself, even her tail if she tried hard enough, there was just so much volume and length involved that another pair of hands never went amiss… But less practically…]
If you end up liking it… I usually comb in the evening before bed.
[Even now, she prefers the euphemism to the direct when it came to certain things, but... She's pretty sure he'll understand the meaning.
It is a ritual, almost, to her, quiet and intimate and a little but sexual when the comb was held by a lover and not a girl friend with whom she was chatting away with… and she more than willingly invites him to be a part of it. Thinking that she knows but hoping just a little that he might give her the last assurance of a “yes” even after seeing her with her fangs sunk into his flesh.]
[Liem shifts slightly as he prepares to tend to her hair, taking a moment first to gather the silken locks that have caught in her horns or sprawled over the reeds. He's careful not to neglect so much as a single strand; once her hair has been lifted away from her neck and laid in a deliberate swathe over his lap, he turns his attention to the vial.]
The next time you want help with your tail, I can assist you with that too.
[The scent of camellia blossoms fills the air as he drips a sparing amount of oil onto the comb. He caps the vial again before beginning to pull the comb through her hair, starting near the ends and working his way slowly up.
Even in its current state of tangled disarray, her hair is a pleasure to touch and to care for. Cool fingers catch an inky lock straying onto her collar and linger at the back of her neck.]
But I would like to try this again… [The bindings' chain clinks quietly as he slides his hand back down her hair.] When we have a bit more freedom to be ourselves.
[For the moment… Everything is still. It’s kind of quiet. And if she tried hard enough, maybe Konoha could even pretend she wasn’t shaped like a monster the likes of which she associated with curses and near-death in the night, that she wasn’t afraid of when the Gembindings wore off and her stomach was empty that she might not go near feral with want for blood again.
Because his touch is gentle and soothing through her long hair, grown glossier and more lustrous with care and the products of a world far beyond her own in terms of health and beauty (and most everything else). The routine is calming, in a way, because she did associate it with getting ready for bed, relaxing after a long day. The fragrance of the oil, the slide of the boxwood comb through her hair…
Fingers, brushing against the back of her neck, temporarily interrupting the near-hypnotic trance of surrendering her inky mane to the care of another mindful set of hands. Konoha’s eyes open again with a flutter of dark lashes, her curl around her companion tightens in a little squeeze. Even if there was a soft chink from the handcuffs…]
Mmm…
[When they had the freedom to be themselves… It was always better that way. She nuzzles back into Liem’s knee and her talons scrape gently over his leg, striving for the same softness being granted her now, lulled towards sleep by the pulse of manna, the weakening brought on by the bindings, and the full belly.]
When this all wears off… I’ll come visit. And I’ll bring my comb…
[It would end. The gem cycles always ended. She just had to hold out until then… and if she couldn’t, well. Liem had a blade on hand, now, if she couldn’t honor the trust he’d placed in her. Comforted, in a way, by that thought… Konoha let’s her eyes close again. She surely can’t let herself fall asleep, not before he does, he’s the one drained of blood…]
Thank you, Liem…
[Not “I’m sorry” this time. Thank you. For everything.]
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[She can't help but ask, even as she struggles with the first aid kit... and even as she realizes that maybe it is alright to believe that he isn't downplaying things. It was just her teeth, she hadn't savaged his arm while biting, just pierced, so it was probably... He wasn't lying, it was more the loss of blood, wasn't it? Furrowing her brows, swallowing again and again to try and clear the taste of said blood from her mouth, she finally manages to make her sharp claws flick open the catch, pulling out... okay, her vial of balm for wounds, and bandages...]
Let me see...
[Holding his arm and awkwardly dragging his hand she's connected to along with her movements, Konoha peeks under the towel to check if the pressure has done anything... but it needs another moment, and she presses it back down firmly against his wrist, holding for another minute in silence, her body buzzing with the manna she'd taken from him, laced with the manna he'd received from others. She almost opens her mouth to ask why Liem doesn't heal himself, like he had insisted he was able to in the cold of that unnatural blizzard they'd once found themselves warming from. Those spells that he said would only hurt her but somehow soothed him... But she can't, can she? Her gaze goes to the Gembindings on their wrists and feels a little twist of guilt, another urge to apologize... But he already knew she was sorry.]
... What were you going to do, if I didn't... if I wasn't good... ?
[If she hadn't managed to stop. If she'd dug her teeth in more savagely to his arm and refused to let go before draining him dry? As her voice creaks out to ask, she peels the towel away as gently as she can and awkwardly scrapes some of the balm out of its container, beginning to smear it over his pale, punctured skin.]
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Her question settles quietly over him, occupying his thoughts while he submits to her cautious ministrations. The touch of balm on his wounds makes him blow out a slow, measured breath, but that's all the concession he makes to the sting. After a while, he speaks thoughtfully.]
I suppose I was just putting my faith in you, and trusting that you wouldn't slip beyond reason.
[That was the choice he'd decided to make when he shackled himself to her instead of simply binding both of her wrists. He was deciding to believe in the bindings' power to protect Konoha's mind, and in Konoha's inherent desire to protect the people she loves from harm.]
If I thought it was necessary to use force in order to protect myself, I would have put both of the shackles on you. But I don't think it is. And I think by placing you in a position where you need to keep control in order to assure my safety, it will make doing so easier for you.
[To him, that's worth it. He's been where Konoha is now: struggling against his own thirst and his desire to throw away everything else he cares for in order to sate it. There is comfort to be found in being kept in check by someone you trust—but it's a hollow comfort, when it has to contend with the knowledge that you've sunk low enough to demand such intervention. He doesn't want to inflict that knowledge on her if he can help it, and he believes that he can.]
no subject
It's hard to make eye contact with him. Not because she thinks he'll judge her, or that he was upset, but because she can see a faint reflection of her silhouette in them, topped with spiked antlers. She'd grabbed a hold of antlers like that before, when something shaped like Liem had pinned her to the forest floor and sank its teeth into her neck.
But she makes herself look.]
I love that you trusted me, but... I want you to value your life a little bit more, also...
[Now that her mind and body have been settled by the combination of gembindings and having her cravings sated by a stomach full of blood and manna, she almost feels like she could maybe touch him without biting, and she wants to, if only to press a bit of manna back into him, but... in this monstrous shape? For now, she pauses in her bandage wrapping to use the tips of a claw to sort through the foodstuffs she'd dragged over in her haste, rolling a bottle of tea and a meat-stuffed riceball she'd made with her dinner leftovers from the previous night up against his thigh.]
Here... Eat, please...
[It would help with the blood loss, right? P... rotein? And hydrating... It's all she can think to do while she finishes with the bandage work, giving him as much slack as she can to move his own hand when he needs it.]
And then I- I have something for you, too...
[Nothing that could compare to what he had gifted her, the silver key dangling now from her neck, but. Maybe... Something a bit darkly appropriate.]
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As much as he wants to argue that he does have a care for his own life, he can't deny that he was gambling with it when he decided to shackle himself to her. She had been prepared to let him bind both her wrists, and if he had, it would have been a simple matter to defend himself if the need had arisen. But he chose not to, because he believed he could help Konoha without forcing her to endure those indignities. And no matter how confident he was that she wouldn't put his life at risk, he couldn't know for certain that she wouldn't lose control.
He'd promised her when he came back to Noctium that he would have more of a care for his own safety, and here he is, already making her doubt his word.]
I fully intend to go back home one day, Konoha. I didn't decide to place my trust in you on a whim.
[He reaches for her hand so he can give her fingers a brief squeeze, before retrieving the offered riceball and taking a careful nibble from it. His gaze drifts across to the long box sitting nearby—a box that he's quite certain he doesn't recognize.]
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As much as she hates that the fingers he squeezes, that she squeezes back, feel too long and too sharp, warped by the foul transformation that craves a diet unnatural to her, it still counted. It was still enough to prompt her to nod, slow, and murmur,]
… Good.
[It was a promise for her, too. She had to be worthy of that trust he had put in her, even in this shape.
Honestly, she probably could have finished her bandaging work faster… but she takes her time (and okay, some of it was claw-borne clumsiness) and waits to finish until she’s made sure Liem has consumed at least half of what she offered him. Even though she knew he supposedly didn’t have to eat that much… it seemed smart to now. Unlike usual… she can’t help him with what he doesn’t want to finish. The only part of that little meal that interests her is the meat filling.
But she’s fine, she’s full (for now), and when she finally does finish the last little tuck and tie… It’s that exact box she reaches for.]
I’m taking Liem’s pendant home with me.
[She is. She will. And if something about interworld travel could be made possible through willpower alone, it seemed she would do it. They have exchanged gifts before, the Brumfast books she had put in his hands had been the work of Summoning Stone as well, but something… something that might be on his person, that had that chance to maybe, just maybe go back with him… So what if his network device and things from this world hadn’t? This was from her world, one of five fine gifts her boss had once commissioned as a present (bribe) for the local lords…
Her claws click on the unvarnished wooden box with its simple silk cord tie as she transfers it to Liem’s lap.]
So you have to take this back with you… and use it to survive.
[Inside… a fine tanto blade with a polished shark leather hilt in an even finer sheath that was decorated with gold lacquer and subtly engraved flowers.]
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But he still has no trouble setting it down for a moment to investigate the box instead. His clawed fingers play curiously over the silk cord as she explains what he’s meant to do with this unexpected gift. Seeing no reason to play coy, he slides the box open—and gazes in stunned silence at the lacquered sheath resting inside.]
Where did you get this…?
[Mindful of the cuffs binding them, and of his bandaged arm, he reaches carefully inside and lifts the sheathed blade from its box. The leather is of a kind he hasn’t seen before, and the decoration on the sheath keeps his eye lingering over its golden length. He turns it this way and that before sliding the tanto free and inspecting the blade. It looks razor sharp.]
It’s beautiful.
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As much as she almost wants to just curl around him then, slink closer and try to return the manna she'd stolen even if she can't return the blood, for now Konoha sits awkwardly with her bizarre legs tucked up, cervid hooves scraping in the reeds of her bedding and trying to just hide one clawed hand under a pillow while leaving the other free to move with his where they were linked by the Gembindings.
Even with the lingering guilt and horror of what she'd done, done to him, charitably weakened by how he had gifted what her urges required rather than force her to try and take them, Konoha is still somewhat innocently eager to see his reaction, hoping that he will like what she picked for him. Each of the five blades commissioned had been different, and she'd tried her best to select which one she thought would fit best...]
I used some of Lady Red's summoning stones...
[Carefully saved for such needs over months and months, and finally...]
A year before I got married... my boss was trying to get an official license to sell lumber in Toyama... That's, ah, the castle town where the domain lord lives... and if she could get one, she'd be the only jinba who ever did... and then maybe we could have even sold to the lord himself...
[All very prestigious things, in a world and society like hers where rank and class meant so much. She can remember it so clearly, because she'd respected Sha Gozen her entire life, looking up to the older jinba as... essentially, the only role model she'd ever had that was her own race, let alone a woman in their world succeeding in such a way. Someone who had taken her under wing and took a chance on employing her, even promoting her over humans despite how some men on the yard had disagreed...]
I went with her to commission this... and four others. They were gifts for the local magistrates, the highway checkpoint commissioner, the estate administrators... For "consideration", you know. I thought they were such fine things, but those men are so rich, they probably just ended sitting in their storehouses somewhere or displayed in some side room...
[And alright, she maybe found it... just a little bit funny in an ironic sort of way to take something that had essentially been a bribe, reclaim it, and give it to a Taxmaster of all people, but...
For a moment, she forgets that she's shaped like a Wechuge and has a belly full of blood, enough that her shoulders round and she smiles, pulling her clawed hand out from under the cushion to point at the blade's hilt, and the tiny golden menuki ornament on the hilt in the shape of a lion-dog.]
I like the flowers on this one, but I liked this part, too... It's a koma-inu... a guardian spirit.
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A guardian?
[He raises his eyebrows as he looks at the golden shape, taking in the finely-wrought details. He’s never been entirely sure how Red’s summoning stones actually work when it comes to one-of-a-kind possessions. If he really does bring this home with him one day, will it vanish from some lord’s manor in Konoha’s country? Or is it just a perfect copy that only he and Konoha need know about? It seems a shame that such a well-crafted blade would really be just sitting around in someone’s house. He asks curiously,]
What is the guardian’s job?
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Even with what she’d done… He scoots closer, up against her side, without her asking or trying to reach for him first. He had assured her in words that he would forgive her, and it wasn’t that she hadn’t believed him, but. The simple action just makes it so much clear to her, and her hearts (heart) swells, tears springing back to her eyes as she stays shaky still until he gets comfortable. She won’t cry again, she won’t-
But she will lift a warped hand to rub at the back of her eyes, mumbling a bit wetly through the first part of her explanation.]
They, um… They guard sacred places like shrines and temples… for the gods…
[She wants to touch back, but… The rules. Should she still not hold him close? Her clawed hands flex and splay witn want to grip and embrace, she almost leans in towards his shoulder or the top of his head, but her antlers…
It’s an awkward sort of squiggling, wriggling her haunches back a bit and lying on her the side so that she can sort of curl her elongated and bonier body around him, but she manages to eventually get her arms loosely looped over one of his legs, her cheek on his thigh and knee. There, now she could touch without poking…
And her claws can gently reach to move his hand, showing the matching menuki on the other side of the hilt, one with mouth open and one closed, one with a horn and one with a liondog pup at its side.]
One is male and one is female… and they’re stone most of the time, but when the gods command they can come to life and protect the villagers or the shrine priests… They’re fiercest when they’re defending something.
[She feels the key press between her breasts and his leg. Manages a smile, even if it came with a hint of sharper fangs.]
Like me and Liem.
[So even if it was technically stealing… She’s fine with it this time.]
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You think so?
[He smiles down at her, releasing the sheathed blade for a moment to reach over and stroke her hair. He's always been reluctant to think of himself as a protector, but the thought makes warmth bloom in his chest. But in a very broad sense, he supposes he's defending what he loves every time he raises a weapon against any man or monster. He just has to get better about protecting himself, too.]
I suppose you're right. But I'm happy to be stone most of the time.
[It fits the both of them, as emeralds: biding patiently until the time they might be needed. A quiet life means there is nothing to defend from, and that sounds just fine to him.]
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[She thought so. That was for certain. Liem had always seemed like a protector in her eyes, even if he hadn’t seen himself that way. He had protected her feelings the very first time they’d met, reverently transcribing the emotional words of a stranger and allowing her the dignity of keeping his eyes to paper so that she might cry without shame. Protected her actual life, in the snow spattered with lupine, dhampir, and jinba blood. Provided that protection again to a lonely heart, in words of forgiveness, soft sheets, and a bedroom aglow with flickering candlelight. And now that she knew it all… Didn’t he protect everyone in his own world, too? Even if he was one who moved in the shadows… he protected the teachings of his church, and now, the potential peace and future of an entire country.
But she… she’d protected him, too. When she’d looked into his inhuman eyes that very first time, beneath the trees in that Primaveran garden, and not seen anything at all that would make her want to reject him. When she’d pulled him from the deathly grip of the Balleymallet lake. When she’d placed a too-real dream of her daughter in his arms…
They always came out even eventually.]
So this one is you… and this one is me. Even after you go home.
[As his fingers stroke through her hair, and Konoha gently clicks her claws over the blade to turn it back and forth, switching from the male komainu to the female and child, she realizes that she isn’t quite as hyper aware of his pulse as she had been. The belly full of blood had worked to help sate her urges, and combined with the weakening of the Gembindings taking further hold…
In her natural form, she would be dismayed to sense her body weakening in such a way, but like this… she’s relieved to feel her limbs growing a bit clumsier, slower, curling the tall, gangly shape around his back and squeezing lightly on his knee with her arms and around the back of his hips with the curve of her hip and cervid legs. Good. Let her be weakened, made docile enough to hopefully continue controlling herself. To ponder the meaning, in this case, of stone. To not be needed to take up arms and protect, to have peace…
Her lips curl into a smile, finding just a bit of playfulness.]
I like it when Liem is hard as stone, too…
[… Which is surely just a reference to being at peace, in this context, right? Except… she’s reaching for his lap? Is it actually a lewd innuendo, at a time like this, in the form she found so obviously twisted and unappealing? Her clawed fingers splay, she nuzzles into his thigh, she moves down to grab-
The half-finished rice ball, a curl of her bony wrist offering it back up to him on her palm.]
Can you finish it this time… For me? Just in case… Then I’ll let you rest, I promise…
[And then she can take the role of protector while he sleeps. Even if it was just protecting him from her.]
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Thank you, Konoha.
[He stares tenderly down at the little ornaments, tracing the contours of the mother with her cub. At the slide of Konoha's hand, he aims a questioning look her way, his soft smile quirking with amusement.]
When did you become such a tease?
[Despite his playfully accusing question, he doesn't hesitate to take the offered rice ball from her hand. He sets the blade carefully aside, laying it reverently on the bed of reeds, and cups the bit of food obediently in his clawed fingers. But he hesitates before moving to finish the rest of it, looking down at Konoha's playful gaze. Should he even ask this? His lips firm briefly with indecision before he opens them.]
After I finish, will you let me comb your hair for you?
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This time she wants it to be with him always, until there hopefully came a day... that he didn't need a blade any longer. Then... She wouldn't mind so badly if it just came to be displayed on a mantelpiece. The necklace he had pressed into her palm... she wants it to stay there, until the day came when wrinkled hands would shakily undo the clasp and redo it around the neck of a daughter or son.
When he asks his playful question, she's just tamed enough by the Gembindings to almost blush, half hiding her face in his trousers and looking up at him with a little curl at the corners of her lips.]
I've actually always been a tease, I think...
[It was just that the only one who had known was Gonta, once upon a time. Yet now, gently released from the lonely standards she'd struggled to hold herself to... She was allowed to say such things to a lover, wasn't she? On normal days. Even on days when she felt twisted and a little bit hideous. ... Even if this time, she genuinely did more just want him to finish the rice ball.
She hadn't quite expected he'd want to comb her hair, though. He has learned well enough that in her culture, a woman just letting her hair down in front of a man was a rather intimate thing, could be an invitation as clear as anything... this time, her mane is disheveled by her antlers, strands trapped in a point here, tangled here... And her clawed hand reaches, taking advantage of the unnaturally elongated limb to reach under her nearby pillow and come back with a simple boxwood comb and a small vial of oil...
Which she deposits in his lap.]
... After you finish.
[... Did Liem like that kind of thing? She scoots the comb a little bit, thinking of her usual nighttime routine. It felt good brushing her own hair, relaxing and unwinding from the day, and so... Even though a part of her felt undeserving of a little pleasure like that, when she'd been the one to feed off him... He asked.]
It feels nice...
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With that in mind, he obediently returns to eating the rice ball she's given him, favouring his injured arm to let it rest. Although the injury she's done to his body is far gentler than the savage bite he'd inflicted upon her last fall, she deserves the opportunity to make up for it in some way. He'd already forgiven her regardless, but he still acknowledges the ritual importance of the gesture.]
I haven't had many opportunities to do something like this.
[Once he's finished with his food, he picks up the little vial of oil and turns it gently in his fingers with a clicking of claws against glass. It's been decades since he's had longer hair of his own to care for, and even longer since any woman allowed him to help care for hers. But even if it goes beyond suggestive teasing for him to help her in this way, he'd rather be bold than expect her to take care of her hair herself with her body in its current state.]
But your hair is so lovely. It would be a shame to leave it untended.
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She tries not to think about it. Now now. For a moment, she just closes her eyes and listens to him eat, glad and relieved, until she hears claws click on the vial of oil. Shifting in anticipation, she tries to get her neck and head into a more comfortable position in reach of his hands, move her own closer so the bindings won't limit him. As much as she'd like to simply sit herself down in front of him... She's still so tall in this gangly form, she has to stay more down, but maybe...]
Mmm… There’s so many nice products here, and time to take even better care of it…
[It was more lustrous here than her own world, that was for sure, yet-]
I do like having help with it, though… my tail, more, maybe, but…
[As perfectly capable as she was of tending to her mane by herself, even her tail if she tried hard enough, there was just so much volume and length involved that another pair of hands never went amiss… But less practically…]
If you end up liking it… I usually comb in the evening before bed.
[Even now, she prefers the euphemism to the direct when it came to certain things, but... She's pretty sure he'll understand the meaning.
It is a ritual, almost, to her, quiet and intimate and a little but sexual when the comb was held by a lover and not a girl friend with whom she was chatting away with… and she more than willingly invites him to be a part of it. Thinking that she knows but hoping just a little that he might give her the last assurance of a “yes” even after seeing her with her fangs sunk into his flesh.]
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The next time you want help with your tail, I can assist you with that too.
[The scent of camellia blossoms fills the air as he drips a sparing amount of oil onto the comb. He caps the vial again before beginning to pull the comb through her hair, starting near the ends and working his way slowly up.
Even in its current state of tangled disarray, her hair is a pleasure to touch and to care for. Cool fingers catch an inky lock straying onto her collar and linger at the back of her neck.]
But I would like to try this again… [The bindings' chain clinks quietly as he slides his hand back down her hair.] When we have a bit more freedom to be ourselves.
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Because his touch is gentle and soothing through her long hair, grown glossier and more lustrous with care and the products of a world far beyond her own in terms of health and beauty (and most everything else). The routine is calming, in a way, because she did associate it with getting ready for bed, relaxing after a long day. The fragrance of the oil, the slide of the boxwood comb through her hair…
Fingers, brushing against the back of her neck, temporarily interrupting the near-hypnotic trance of surrendering her inky mane to the care of another mindful set of hands. Konoha’s eyes open again with a flutter of dark lashes, her curl around her companion tightens in a little squeeze. Even if there was a soft chink from the handcuffs…]
Mmm…
[When they had the freedom to be themselves… It was always better that way. She nuzzles back into Liem’s knee and her talons scrape gently over his leg, striving for the same softness being granted her now, lulled towards sleep by the pulse of manna, the weakening brought on by the bindings, and the full belly.]
When this all wears off… I’ll come visit. And I’ll bring my comb…
[It would end. The gem cycles always ended. She just had to hold out until then… and if she couldn’t, well. Liem had a blade on hand, now, if she couldn’t honor the trust he’d placed in her. Comforted, in a way, by that thought… Konoha let’s her eyes close again. She surely can’t let herself fall asleep, not before he does, he’s the one drained of blood…]
Thank you, Liem…
[Not “I’m sorry” this time. Thank you. For everything.]