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[sterngaze]

I love me some gen threads, especially funny or drama-filled ones, but I am also shamelessly here for shipping AUs. The general Liem-shipping vibe is "I want more than this, but I shouldn't & they can't possibly want me back," so if you're into that, I've got what you need. His default setting is very D&D-like high fantasy, but I'm comfortable playing him in modern fantasy settings as well. Pretty much any prompt can also accommodate Liem being a full vampire instead of a dhampir, if that's your thing. Prompts for inspiration: • Arranged Marriage: Liem's shady vampire family has arranged his marriage to you, but he seems a rather reluctant fiance. • Bodyguard Shipping: It's Liem's duty to keep you safe and out of trouble, possibly despite your best efforts. • Companion to Royalty: Reclusive vampire king Liem and YOU! Are you a gift from a local power? Sacrifice from the townsfolk? Or did you just stumble up the road to his castle during a storm? • Enemies to Lovers: Maybe Liem is a foreign agent trying to sabotage your country or organization. Or maybe you're rebelling against the current regime and he's trying to take you in. • Fake Dating/Fake Married: A relationship is your cover story while you're travelling for some secret reason. Gotta keep up appearances. • Hunter & Hunted: Are you a hunter trying to track Liem down? Or a snack that proved more than he bargained for? • Hurt (Comfort Optional): Whether he's hurt, sick, drugged, or just upset, two things remain constant: Liem needs help, and he doesn't want to accept it. But maybe you don't want to fix him anyway; maybe you want to make him worse. • Living a Lie: Whether you're undercover on a mission, or you lied to cover something up and now you have to commit, you're stuck playing a role until you accomplish some secret objective — or until you can shake off your nosy company. • Loss of Control: For whatever reason, one of you is struggling not to go berserk — or perhaps has already failed. If it's Liem, can you help him come back to himself, or are you the one pushing him over the edge? • Out of the Frying Pan: The classic "tried to help someone in trouble, ended up with a new and possibly worse problem" situation. But at least you're in it together! • Priest/Celibacy: Default here is that Liem is the priest, but it could go the other way. Smutty, or just laden with UST? You decide. • Texting: Stupid TFLN-style text threads, my beloved... • Random Scenario: For if none of the above tickle your fancy. contact. Sporelett | info. Link | permissions. Link

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[sterngaze]

[It is so novel for Liem to have someone with whom to shed his anger and his nerves and his frustrations. He is used to his troubles circling his thoughts until hours after dawn, when his weariness finally overcomes them and bears him down into sleep. To return to his rooms and vent his annoyance to his husband, to occupy himself with his attention and his touch and the soft, delightful sound of his laugh, is a luxury that has his ire slipping from him like water through curled fingers.

He remembers, belatedly, his intention to transition into undress. His irritation had distracted him, and now he finds that he is already well occupied, wrapped around his husband with his neck within easy reach of his lips. He is disinclined to release him now, even to shed the rest of his clothes.]

I hope he still doesn't expect it, [he murmurs dryly.] I hope he simply thinks me mild-mannered and fussy for our entire stay.

[And then after that, besides. Liem would prefer if the day Dain realized his error was the day the crown finally slipped from his grasp. He did his best to pretend that his irritation was only for Cardan, and not for the elder prince himself, but he could not say how successful he ultimately was.

But he is more occupied with how rare sounds like an unparalleled compliment coming from Cardan's lips, and how perfect he feels fitted against him, like he was made just for Liem, for his hands and his body and his mouth. How deceptive that feeling is, when half a year ago they'd barely known of each other's existence, and when their marriage, unlike them, was not made to last forever.]

He did tell me something about you though, actually. [Something he might have known already, if not for the already-recognized truth of his husband's unwillingness to talk about himself.] He said that you were meant to be Princess Nicasia's, before you were wedded to me.

[greenbriar]

[ Ah, there it is; the scorpion's sting at the tip of Dain's honeyed tongue. Why would he tell Liem this if not to incite doubt between them? Cardan is affectionate with Nicasia, still -- more so than anyone else, save for Liem, and then only in private. The rumours about them are not difficult to imagine.

Cardan's smile is exquisitely bitter. ]

Of course he did.

[ He doesn't want to talk about it. It's painful and embarrassing, and old news besides. But he will not give Dain the satisfaction of ruining the one good thing he has been given-- not on account of Cardan's hurt feelings, at any rate. Ultimately, it is just one more in a long tally of bruises laid at his brother's feet.

He sighs and leans back against the pillows so that he may look at Liem. The line of his jaw is hard, the body under Liem's hands tense. ]

I was meant to be no one's. But Nicasia and I were once together, and schemed for her to take me as her consort -- that much is true. I thought I could be happier in the Undersea than on land.

[ He frowns; his tail is twitchy once more. ]

It's salty and oppressive and full of drowned mortals, but at least no one was likely to be beating me. And I did love her. It seemed rather like an improvement.

[sterngaze]

[Liem isn't sure what to expect when he tells Cardan about Dain's seemingly-innocent remark. Most likely, the elder prince mentioned it to sow suspicion in him — perhaps even to cause an argument, if he saw fit to repeat his words. Dain probably didn't expect Cardan to explain anything, given his aforementioned unwillingness to speak of personal matters, and frankly, Liem doesn't expect it either.

Which is why he is surprised when, despite his obvious bitterness, that is exactly what Cardan does.

Noting the tension this topic has wound up inside his husband, Liem has to resist the impulse to slide further into bed to insinuate himself once more against his chest. Probably Cardan would prefer that he didn't just now.]

That seems a pleasing political union, as well, [he notes, but soberly, a pensive frown creasing his grave, intent face. He waits, patient and still.

He does not like thinking about Cardan being beaten, even though he knows of course that the scars on his back are not the marks of fighting. The thought of Cardan choosing to live surrounded by corpses and chilly saltwater to escape his life in Elfhame is immensely depressing.

But he chooses not to examine the nervous clutching in his chest when Cardan says I did love her. It's not like whom he loves or used to love is any of Liem's business, regardless.]

[greenbriar]

[ Surprisingly, once he starts speaking of it, it becomes difficult to stop. There had been no need to tell anyone the story -- the rumours had done the work for him, and either way, why would he bring up something so pathetic? But Liem doesn't look at him with anger nor pity nor scandalized interest, and somehow that makes it both worse and better. He wants to pour out his whole wicked soul to that sober, patient expression just to see if it shifts at all.

Liem's comment prompts a derisive snort from him. ]

It was. That is why, when I found her in bed with Locke, everyone was quick to tell me to get over it and win her back.

Which was unnecessary, as he dumped her shortly after.

[ The quick, sardonic flash of his smile is habitual-- a Locke, right? what a guy kind of expression. It's a little funny, in a horrible way. And even if Locke meant to humiliate him alongside Nicasia, it is a kind of justice.

But the smile flees his face immediately. He folds his fingers over Liem's face again, and though he is still tense, his eyes burn with some emotion that is just this side of desperate. He needs Liem to understand this; if he doesn't, what is the point of any of it? ]

But she was the person I trusted. We had grown up together. She knew everything.

I could not see her the same way I had before.

[sterngaze]

[Whatever Liem had expected when he raised this subject, it had not been this. He hadn’t expected Cardan to unveil such a wound, nor had he anticipated the startling earnestness with which his husband now stares him down. The hands framing his face, despite their gentle hold, trap him there more surely than iron.

Why is Cardan telling him this? The sober expression Liem had donned against the uncertainty of this topic falters, something in his eyes turning a little besieged. While he has become accustomed to his husband’s moods and whims and secrets and deflections, he flounders in the face of his honesty, seeking hidden meanings where none exist.

What is he supposed to say to this? What is there to say? The experience had surely been humiliating, and yet Cardan has shared it all with him to… make Liem trust him? To reassure him not to be suspicious of his closeness with Nicasia?

And why… why would anyone with Cardan’s love turn their sights from him for even a moment? Somehow, that remains the most bewildering question of all.]

… I am not sure I could forgive someone for wronging me that way, [he says at length. He wonders, but does not ask, if Cardan’s quickness to anger at some things between them has been spurred in past from humiliation from people close to him.] I’m surprised you would still desire their companionship.

[greenbriar]

[ Cardan shrugs; some of the tension has left him, now that he has made his way through the worst of the story. And after all that, Liem's face had changed -- though Cardan can't quite read his expression. Had he said too much? But surely Liem would not have asked after a story he did not want to hear.

His thumb finds the corner of his husband's mouth, brushes along the soft curve of his bottom lip. His gaze turns a little less pained and a little more considering. ]

They had their punishment from me. [ Years of it, at that. He had always been cruel, but the breakup had extinguished the last of his good humour and left only the most awful parts of him. Locke and Nicasia had certainly not been spared his thorns. That they had stayed at all is to their grudging credit. ] And everyone else was still dull.

Besides, they taught me a lesson: that no safety and no comfort is worth being with someone who would betray you.

[ For a long time, he assumed that meant not being with anyone at all. How strange, then, to be here, in the land of his birth, with a man he had been almost sure he would end up resenting. How strange to find himself trusting in someone he's known less than half a year, when he had thought he would never trust anyone again. ]

...I suppose this was not the tale you expected.

[sterngaze]

[There is a part of Liem — the part that wants to make every bad thing into a problem he has to solve — that winds tight in response to this old, obsolete little tale. He plays no part in it, and everyone involved seems to already have moved on, yet he can’t make the story sit right with him. It frustrates him to be told such a thing about Cardan’s life, to want to do something about it, and to know that he simply can’t, for various immutable reasons.

But the caress at his mouth does placate him some, as his husband’s touch always seems to. Even if he finds it supremely ironic that Cardan would accuse the broad majority of Elfhame’s folk of being dull, and still content himself in a marriage with a man who devotes most of his time to organization and paperwork.]

It wasn’t, [he agrees. Not even Liem is attentive enough to have already guessed that his husband’s previous relationship had ended in such a way, regardless of Cardan’s obvious predilection towards possessiveness.

Perhaps this revelation provides Liem a little extra insight into the Undersea princess’s unfaltering disdain for him. After all, a princess’s ego surely wouldn’t welcome her having been replaced by a lover so annoyingly inferior.]

If anything, I was expecting less forthrightness. [When was the last time Cardan had been so honest with him about something he was plainly unwilling to talk about? It had been months, surely, and he hadn’t thought this would be the conversation to change that.

Gently, he slides one of his hands free from his husband’s back so he can cover Cardan’s fingers with his own.]

Especially since I interrupted your leisure with a headache.

[greenbriar]

Dain interrupted my leisure. And yours, insofar as knocking swords together is leisure.

[ Very weird of Liem to be such a jock, actually, when he's also such an accountant. Cardan will never understand the fascination with grunting about on training fields when there are much better ways to get one's heart going. For example: twisting his palm so he can lace his fingers through Liem's and press his mouth to his husband's knuckles, his breath brushing over Liem's fingers as he speaks. ]

And as he is the type of vermin that thrives on secrets, I am compelled to give up mine.

[ Harder, that way, for Dain to insinuate suspicion between them. Besides, it hadn't been as awful as he'd expected. Oh, he feels strange about it -- sensitive, exposed like the feeling of bare skin after unbandaging a freshly healed wound. But even if Liem gives him little to go on in terms of his feelings, and even if he thinks less of Cardan for allowing himself to be so tricked -- well, so be it, so long as he has no cause to think Cardan unfaithful.

He smiles, this time a little crookedly. ]

As ordinary as they may end up being.

[ After all, this kind of betrayal is hardly rare in either of their courts. ]

[sterngaze]

[Knocking swords together is a rather crude way of describing the time-honoured art of swordfighting, Liem thinks. Five-year-olds playing at war knock their swords together. A proper duel has more in common with dancing than it doesn’t; there is a certain elegance to it, and an attention to movement and posture that can only come with years and even decades of practice.

He raises an eyebrow as he regards his husband, even as Cardan takes his hand and brushes his lips over it. But all he says is, mildly,] Pursuing a hobby is important.

[Especially for Liem, who is discouraged from trying to stab anyone or anything during the normal course of his work. If nothing else, the opportunity to regularly engage in controlled violence helps him be normal with the aggravating immortals he’s obligated to deal with on a nightly basis.

Not that he is at all aggravated now, for all that his husband is certainly accomplished in that particular area. He is a little unsettled, still. He has spent the last few months of his life attempting to win some measure of his prickly new spouse’s trust, and now that it seems he has what he wants, he cannot quite suppress the queasy anxiety that, inevitably, he will fail Cardan spectacularly in his own way.

He tries not to give the thought credence. Though this is hardly a comfort, surely their marriage will not last long enough for that, regardless.]

Even so, I am pleased to be trusted with them, [he says. And he nudges their twined hands aside, enough so that he can lean in and kiss his husband properly.]

[greenbriar]

[ Well, it would hardly be anything but insulting if Liem were otherwise. Anyway, Cardan is eager to leave his sad, failed romance behind and focus on cheerier matters -- first and foremost, coiling his free arm around Liem so he may pull him closer and get to the neglected task of removing his clothing from him. Perhaps he will take the opportunity to re-map some of the bruises his mouth had left on Liem's skin the day before, or revisit his critical study of how many kisses it will take for either of them to get sick of kissing.

Either way, Dain will not have the triumph of this night if Cardan can help it.

Thankfully, his brother seeks out neither of them over the next several days, and though he cannot quite help the anxiety that has wormed its way into his thoughts -- what was Dain planning? what had he gleaned from the conversation with Liem? -- he tries to avoid having it fester. Now that Balekin's gold is secured, he has other things to prepare for.

It is relatively early in the evening -- only an hour or so before dusk -- when a servant awakens him by ringing a gentle bell by his ear. Cardan shoos him away, though -- uncharacteristically -- he does not double down by wrapping himself more firmly around his spouse. Instead, he will yawn, wriggle himself up to sit, then lean over Liem to kiss him awake. ]

Rise, husband. We have much to see tonight.

[ They had been invited to the revel the night after Dain's little ambush, and Cardan had perked up at the mention of it even then. It is being held on the Isle of Woe, under the light of stars and bonfires. It is a wilder, stranger fête than the ones they had attended so far -- there will be more of the solitary folk, more wild dancing and rhythmically beating drums. They had seen revels like it in the distance of every nightly carriage ride, though this one would be larger and well-attended by the gentry.

That isn't actually where they're going, but Liem does not need to know that. ]

[sterngaze]

[When the soft chime of a bell and the caress of warm lips on his face nudge Liem towards wakefulness, he doesn’t think about what night it is. Though he’s been counting the days almost ever since they got here, it hasn’t been because of his approaching birthday. He is simply aware, in the back of his mind, that they have only so long to linger in this dream-like place of fantastical dangers and pleasures. When the time he’d allotted for their trip runs out, he will need to uproot his husband again so Cardan can blow them both back to Ironside like so many dandelion seeds.

He has come to appreciate Faerie’s eccentricities, for all that he still refuses to indulge in most. Liem has drowsed awake to his husband’s sleepy kisses more times in the last two weeks than he had in their entire marriage prior, and that, at least, is one luxury he covets most keenly.

Though it is unlike Cardan to follow this by telling Liem to get up. Perversely, this only makes him miss his husband’s warmth twined around him; Liem pushes himself onto his elbows, but only so he can wind his arm about his retreating husband’s waist.]

Since when are you in such a hurry to get to the business of the day?

[No matter how wild and strange this revel is, he cannot believe it more tempting than another hour in bed, which Cardan typically seems so fond of.]

[greenbriar]

[ Cardan grins, not bothering to hide his pleasure. He had thought about playing it cool and pretending nothing important was happening at all, but then -- surely the errant twitch of his tail or the eager beating of his heart would give him away. Already, the tail's tip taps against Liem's sleep-warmed hip, impatient.

No, best to let Liem see his eagerness and misattribute its cause. ]

Since the business of the day became exciting. Who would want to hurry to my father's dull dances?

[ Still, he does not protest being pulled back against Liem. Cardan will kiss him again, the curve of his lips smug and indulgent. He had requested the wake-up call to be early; they have some time to enjoy each other yet. ]

Besides, these kinds of revels are most beautiful in the twilight.

[ After all, the fey are in-between creatures, fond of places and times which are not entirely one thing or another. Cardan has lived the past few months within the dark cover of night, but that is hardly his natural rhythm. ]

I wish to catch it.

[sterngaze]

[The way Cardan sways pliantly back against him coaxes a hum, soft and pleased, from low in his throat. Liem kisses him without a hint of shame for his uncooperativeness, wrapping around his husband again so he might trap him in bed more effectively. And why not? It isn’t as though Cardan ever has any shame about doing just the same.

Besides, he doesn’t intend to keep them long. He just wants another moment or two, or three, to have Cardan all to himself, within easy reach of his touch and his kiss.]

We’d need to move quickly indeed to make it anywhere during twilight.

[Considering that even the reddest dying rays of the setting sun are liable to roast Liem like a crust of bread dropped into the fire, they cannot even leave the palace until twilight begins — or rather, Liem will not go anywhere, even in a carriage, while the sun is still in the sky. The revel would need to be quite near for them to enjoy any of it before nightfall.

For a moment, regret laps softly at the edges of his bliss, that he cannot grant Cardan pleasures like this — cannot watch the sunset with him, or splash through the surf, or even tramp through the woods without balking at every trickle of water that crosses their path. So much of his existence is bound by rules that his husband should not need to adhere to, and there are so many boundaries he cannot cross, even by invitation.

One more reason for him to enjoy Cardan while he’s tucked pleasingly against him, close enough for Liem to slide his fingers into his hair and trail sleep-warmed kisses along the line of his jaw. Even as he murmurs, musingly,] But I suppose I can indulge you.

[greenbriar]

[ It is difficult to resist the desire to twist his body until he is facing Liem fully, to press him into the soft down pillows and silk sheets, to lean into him with all of his weight and kiss him until he's breathless... or rather, until Cardan is, given that his lover needs no air. It's difficult, so Cardan does not bother resisting at all. Liem is indulging him; he has been indulging him this entire trip. Regardless of what kind of schedule they might be on, Cardan is loath to waste the pleasure of his warm, easy affection, when soon he will once more be doomed to wake in a bed long abandoned by his spouse.

That, and Liem is being saucy, which is both highly attractive and deserving of retaliation.

He is indeed breathless when he pulls back, though that doesn't impede his returning grin. His expression conveys the cheerful confidence of a man who, instead of being thwarted in his plans, is getting exactly what he'd wanted. ]

Have you finally decided to rebel, Liem?

[ His husband does look decidedly more impish than usual, with his hair unruly against the pillow and his mannerisms still languid with sleep. I want to be your favourite, comes unbidden to Cardan's mind -- and he has to admit, with a strange flutter of anxiety, that he is hard-pressed to think of anyone he likes as much as Liem.

Not that it matters, since Liem probably doesn't even remember he'd said it. ]

[sterngaze]

[Liem sighs into his husband's tender assault, sliding his arms tight about him, wandering fingers caressing soft hair and warm skin. He is supremely contented by the outcome of his non-compliance, and wonders if this is how Cardan feels whenever he successfully distracts Liem from some bit of tedious work. By Cardan's breathless grin, he too is pleased to be distracted.]

No, no; I said I'd indulge you, and I will.

[Tipping his face up, he presses a small kiss to the very tip of Cardan's nose. He can feel the evening sun still hovering above the horizon, frowning down at the world as it does every day; they have some time yet before it begins to sink into the trees. If Cardan wishes to be ready to leave by sunset, they can be ready to leave by sunset.

Much as Liem hates to relinquish his exquisitely comfortable spot, trapped by his lover beneath the warm cage of his body, he doesn't wish to foil Cardan's plans — not when they seem to have him in such high spirits. If he wishes to be early for a party for once, let them be early.

Grudgingly, he releases his covetous embrace and slides his hands down his husband's back — until he has found the lean curve of his ass, instead.]

What is so special about this revel, anyway?

[greenbriar]

[ For his part, Cardan makes no particular move to take advantage of Liem's nominal acquiescence. He's too busy fielding the warm delight that spreads through him in the face of Liem's mischief and his gentle indulgence. It threatens to show in the smile that curves his lips -- more pleased than sharp, and certainly more honest than he'd intended it to be. He considers tucking it against the crook of Liem's neck, as he usually does when things like this happen, but-- what is the point? Is he not allowed a moment of contentment even on evenings like this?

He has not made a habit of denying himself pleasures, and he would not start tonight.

So he props himself up on one elbow instead, looking down at his husband's face. His fingertips find the line of Liem's sharp cheekbone, follow it down to his mouth -- before he runs indulgent knuckles over his jaw, ever fascinated with the stubble that springs up there in the evenings. ]

It will reveal our true faces, for one.

[ The fair folk, he means -- wild folk and shy folk, solitary folk and the glittering gentry alike, dancing, laughing, and scheming under the night sky. No matter how tepid Eldred's court may be, they are all untamed creatures beneath the veneer of decorum. A part of him is regretful that Liem will not get to see the spectacle.

But-- ]

And there are those whose company I especially look forward to tonight.

[ He's going to forestall any further questions by finally pushing himself up -- and, regrettably, out of the grasp of Liem's hands. His tail coils behind him in lazy, pleased loops as he slips out of their bed, disappearing behind the bathtub screen. ]

[sterngaze]

[Liem is going to miss evenings like this one terribly when they have returned to Ironside. Almost never does he get to awake in his own bed and remain there to indulge his husband's desire for touch. And never, when he has been lying against his own pillows, has he seen Cardan regard him with such open fondness. He cannot imagine extracting himself from his husband's grasp and leaving to begin his night without him if that were the case.]

Hm.

[Liem does not know quite what to do with the answer that Cardan gives him before rising from the bed. The look he wears is considering as he finally pushes himself into a sitting position.

Perhaps he means his friends? He and Cardan abandoned Balekin's revel almost immediately, and the palace revels, though elegant, have not been especially wild. Maybe his faerie companions get into more mischief when the surrounds are a little more lively. Or, perhaps Cardan has other acquaintances to whom Liem has not yet been introduced.

Cardan continues to be a little vague on the details, which Liem, as usual, suspects is intentional. But if his husband wishes to keep these things from him, he is content to be kept in the dark, and to let Cardan spring his little surprises as he pleases.

When he slips out of bed, his thoughts go quickly to the matter of getting ready. Though he follows his husband in search of the bath, he is already thinking about his wardrobe, considering what will serve him best in this circumstance.]

It's been a while since I attended any event held under the open sky. Even in summer, the weather at home is rarely so fine.

[And anyway, his father's associates tended to prefer luxury to the wildness of bonfires and forest breezes, even when it was not overcast.]

[greenbriar]

[ Cardan grins from his spot on the lip of the tub and imagines Liem cloaked in moonlight, the sea wind blowing his hair wild. It has been too long since they had been in the woods together -- travel hardly counts. ]

It has only been a while because you are loath to be parted from your papers, husband.

[ Which means that Cardan should endeavour more often to divorce Liem from them. But that is a problem for when they have returned to Ironside; tonight, he will focus on curling possessive fingers over Liem's bare hip to pull him closer. The bath is only just filling; they have a little time to entertain each other, as usual.

And if he takes another opportunity to make sure his husband is thoroughly kissed, is that not his duty as Liem's spouse? Still, true to his stated intent, he doesn't tarry; it is not even an hour later that he is in dark trousers and a loose shirt. Its cuffs are yet undone, for he is busy fussing with Liem's. He knows there is no real need -- Liem can certainly see his own wrists. Still, there is a strange pleasure to dressing his husband, to seeing him transform from Cardan's pliant, affectionate lover to sharply formal vampire prince.

He is finishing up with the fastenings at Liem's throat when he asks, deceptively casual, ]

I have always wondered: do you know at all what you look like?

[sterngaze]

[Liem cannot disagree with Cardan’s assertion; certainly most vampires he knows in his generation spend much less of their time with anything that might be called work, and far more of it with entertainments. Sometimes, he wonders if his father’s decision to let him manage domestic matters was really a concession at all, or whether he’d just let Liem think that it was his own idea, to keep him busy and close to home.

It matters little. He has no papers to occupy him here, to his husband’s obvious pleasure, and he is well content to indulge him in their absence — even if, for once, Cardan seems to be the one in a hurry.

But there is still time for small pleasures between them: stolen moments while the tub fills, an indulgent touch or kiss in the course of bathing and readying for the night. He had never previously thought that his spouse, if he had one, would be involved in his bathing and dressing; he had not imagined anything so intimate, so domestic between him and a partner who would inevitably have been chosen for him by his father.

How strange that such small, tender moments have begun to feel deceptively like the most natural thing in the world.]

I have seen my likeness in paintings, of course.

[He says this without any particular inflection. There are one or two family portraits hung in parlours in the house, and a coming-of-age portrait that had been done of him some years back. That one is the only one that he thinks might bear any real resemblance to him; stern and lean-faced, with features that look very much, to his eyes, like his father’s. The painter chose not to include any hint of silver in his hair, though he recalls that the likeness was made after it would have appeared. Still, it is the only painting in the house in which he actually looks grown.

There is one thing all paintings of him have in common, though, regardless of his youth in the others. He is sober and unsmiling in all of them.]

I am told the one in the western parlour looks quite like me.

[greenbriar]

[ Well, yes— there are the paintings, certainly. Cardan had spent some time studying them in his wandering down the long hallways, especially in those first few weeks, when he would sometimes stay up long past midday to explore. The serious child in the paintings had made his new husband feel like even more of a stranger, then; certainly there are no pictures of Cardan that ever looked like that.

He had never liked the family portraits specifically; especially in sequence, they had always felt heavy, rife with painful things gone unspoken. He’d asked someone about Liem’s sister, once, and had gotten startlingly little information in return. It made him mislike looking at the solemn slant of Liem’s mouth, especially back then, when he did not want to sympathize with the husband he was antagonizing.

It’s startling to realize that it is the only one of his own expressions Liem knows. Startling, and a little discomfiting. ]

Insofar as a page resembles a book.

[ He runs fingers up the side of Liem’s face, following the line of a freshly trimmed sideburn. His look is assessing. ]

If I had skill with drawing, I might endeavour to complete the volume.

[ But he doesn’t. And besides, part of him is greedy for Liem’s expressions; why would he leave them on paper for the rest of the world to discover? ]

[sterngaze]

[Liem has not spent a great deal of time looking at his own likenesses, or devoting much thought to exactly what he looks like. He’s grown used enough to the paintings on the walls that he barely ever notices them anymore. And while he takes great pleasure in dressing himself in nice things, keeping his hair styled and his ears glittering with jewellery, he cannot really translate the solemn, unmoving face he has seen in paintings to the one he wears every night. Whenever his eyes pause on that likeness, seeing it instead of sliding past, the person looking gravely back at him seems like a stranger.

In Ironside, when he and Cardan had visited that tavern, Cardan had used magic to prevent the people within from looking at Liem’s eyes. He feels a little like that; when he envisions himself, his mind’s eye slides away from the details of his face.

He almost doesn’t feel like he has one, though of course he knows that he does. Plenty of people before Cardan have confirmed that the person in those paintings is indeed him. But those likenesses might as well be paper masks that stapled over the place where an actual face would go. They aren’t real, and sometimes he feels like neither is he.

Still, he smiles a little as he looks up at his husband.]

I would read it. Though I suspect I may be the only one who would care to.

[greenbriar]

[ Cardan snorts -- taking a moment to fan his fingertips over the silver at Liem's temple, light enough to avoid disturbing his freshly styled hair... too much. He is a little fond, always, of unbalancing Liem's carefully curated perfection just a tiny bit; it makes him feel more in reach, more Cardan's. And as ever, the difficult part of attending to Liem is not getting lost in touching him.

He eyes the face under discussion now: Liem's sharp, elegant angles, the steep cliffs of his cheekbones and his striking eyes, pale against the black pool of his sclera. No, he thinks that if he made an almanac of the subtle expressions ruling that serious, composed face, it would see no shortage of demand. ]

I do not know if you're insulting yourself or me, but regardless, I am inclined to take offence.

[ The slight curl at the corner of his mouth suggests he's joking, but then again, it is not as if he can lie -- only exaggerate.

His hands drop down to Liem's shoulders again, straightening his collar one last time. Cardan will reach for his jacket next, proferring it for his husband to slide into, dutiful as the world's most louche butler. ]

[sterngaze]

[Liem thinks Cardan may be just a little biased in his assessment of Liem's features. As someone who has been wearing his face for his entire life, Liem is in a position to say with confidence that no one but Cardan has ever been so blatantly and unashamedly obsessed with it. His infatuation notwithstanding, Liem can't imagine someone being interested in an entire bevy of different expression portraits featuring exclusively him.

Even Cardan's interest strikes him as a little odd, but fortunately for him and his lack of drawing expertise, he does not need portraits of Liem to see his face all the time, in all its nebulous variety of iterations. For the sake of his hair, Liem resists the urge to lean his head into the caress of Cardan's fingertips, but his eyes warm beneath his husband's strangely intent gaze.]

Then I won't belabour the point.

[The point that he is still correct about — but it doesn't matter. He slides his arms into the coat that Cardan holds out for him, taking a few moments to fuss with the sleeves as he always must, even if someone else has fussed with them already.]

In any event, I know well enough for my own purposes how I look.

[Turning again to face his spouse, he looks up at him with just a hint of playfulness, his posture ever-so-slightly inviting his wandering regard.]

And if curiosity strikes me, I can ask you.

[His dear husband, who has studied him so thoroughly and who cannot speak anything but truth.]

[greenbriar]

[ Cardan raises an eyebrow, his answering grin but a flash of teeth. ]

And do you assume I would give up my secrets freely?

[ How the details of Liem's facial features are in any way part of Cardan's secrets, he does not elaborate upon. If anything, surely Liem is long used to Cardan's preposterous demands -- and in truth, describing someone who had never seen themselves is a little daunting even for him. It is only fair that it cost Liem something.

Besides, he likes making deals with Liem, who is ever patient and honest, and often endearingly put-upon. Though even when he isn't -- even when he turns his shrewd faculties to pushing back on Cardan's nonsense, that's fun, too. He so rarely gets to be at the receiving end of his husband's ruthlessness.

He will step back and gesture towards the chair Liem had perched on when Cardan had shaved him earlier. ]

Your boots, husband. Sit, so that I may lace them for you.

[ Liem is capable of this himself, obviously, but Cardan is only being thorough. ]

[sterngaze]

[Though Liem does not necessarily expect his husband to humour him so easily, Cardan's objection tugs at the corner of his mouth. He regards his spouse consideringly, fondness colouring his faint smile.]

Oh? Yours, are they?

[What about all the others who have laid eyes on him, and seen the faces he wears that haven't been captured in those tidy paintings?

… Is what he would say, if he were not, in truth, so jealous with his own expressions. The few people who would have seen him wearing anything but the composed face he presents in public are not likely to be any more forthcoming than his mischievous husband.]

You are a jealous creature.

[And growing more jealous by the day, it sometimes seems. First it was Liem's drinking habits, and then his habits of bathing and grooming and dress, and now even his countenance is Cardan's to claim.

But still Liem takes a seat when he is bid, because he likes Cardan's hands on him, always, and because he cannot help but be charmed by his interest, no matter how covetous it might be.]