sterngaze | kenos

[Hayame’s years have not stretched on as long as Liem’s have… but the core is the same. Among all the qualities one might see in her, desirability as a partner and a companion could not possibly be one. Even now, she is more than a little convinced this remains true.

It’s just that…

All of the reasons to say “no” bubble up, bleeding out into the snow and ice like the rest had, blanketing the silent stone with the things she struggles to admit even to herself. It has to be impossible, because… they were of different species, different cultures, different ranks. She had to return to her world to keep her vow, and in doing so… she might die. Even if he said he would come with her, was it even possible? Could she even let him, when he had an entire country counting on him in his own home? And he… he was a king, he would need heirs of his body. They might not even make it, they could die here in Kenos, or the Oracle trial could fail, they could be forgotten like all the other generations of shard-bearers…

But today? Tomorrow?

Hayame shivers in the cold before finally, quietly, the shameful, selfish admission comes that… even if it’s foolish, even if it’s weak, even if it’s just some fleeting, painful dream,]

… I do.

Edited 2024-01-16 01:15 (UTC)

[In the face of her shame, Liem’s measured voice is gentle.]

That is more important than what your stablemaster wished for you, or saw fit to teach you in your own country.

[Was she not, after all, a different woman than she’d been two years ago? There is more about her that has changed than just the eye in her left socket or the shard in her breast.]

You are not bound to his legacy, and you can deviate from what was meant for you if you want. You already have.

[Hayame doesn’t know if Liem ever understood why she had looked to him like she had from the very moment they’d met in that space between worlds before Horos. It’s that voice. It’s those words.

They shame her. And humble her. And… they give her just enough hope that maybe… just maybe… She can be better. And have better.

The snow falls… slower. Softer. And after a long moment when she tries to find the words to thank him for saying that… Hayame remembers that this is Communion. The gratitude comes through clear enough. So maybe it’s fine that she doesn’t… that she can’t think of the exact words. This way… it’s better. If she opened her “mouth” she might accidentally protest, say something like “but-“

… And she doesn’t want to.]

Then I will accept it.

[And strive to be worthy of it. The title of Decurion. (And… a lover and partner that had sworn to always stand by her side, no matter what. Who was still there, somehow, even now that everyone knew.)

But that still leaves…]

There is… one more thing I received from Cetina.

Do you have experience with…

Is there… magic in your world that can change a person’s shape, Liem? Not just your face, like those illusion sorts.

[As the snowfall slows, the yellow glow of the candles seems to brighten just a little. Liem's expression seems warmer—though he, too, moves on.]

No direct experience, myself, though such magic exists: magic to change one person into another, or a person into a beast, or a monster into a common animal. Such magic is generally the purview of arcanists, rather than those of the church.

[Certain entities were known to change their shapes, as well, like the kitsune of Tian Xia, or some kinds of true dragon. Fun fact: the psychopomp who very nearly sliced his head off originally made contact with his party in the form of a human man.]

Did Cetina give you an item with shape-changing magic in it?

[She may have... She might be different now, in some ways, from the bitter, angry, isolated woman who had come to Kenos over a year past, but... To linger on such topics too long, to speak about them... like she imagines normal people did... It's still a bit too much. Just this much was... It was hard. And terrifying. ... And enough, for now. His words had the impact she... required. So. So now, in a slightly warmer, softer space-

(More importantly... one in which she felt somewhat safe admitting weakness-)]

... Yes.

I reported things we had learned, and what might need to be done from now... But I had mentioned that there was nothing I could do about the issue of Kowloon. About anything occurring in Highstorm. Not when I was the only shard-bearer of our generation to be-

[Not human. Not human "enough" in shape.]

Four-legged. Illusions and spells would do nothing to disguise me the moment I went into a crowd or someone tried to touch me.

She gave me something that can be used to make me human. Temporarily.

[So what? She just came to tell him? Yes, she did think it was good for him to know, as a skill Meridian now had access to but she would not be advertising publicly in order to keep it useful, but-

More importantly...]

... I would feel more at ease if someone were with me. When I first attempted it.

[Someone with at least a little experience with magics as that. And if it went wrong, if something happened... She didn't want Claude to have to see.]

Of course. Are you at home?

[He could visit her quite easily, if she wants help figuring out the use of her item, and also probably the use of her legs. But then he thinks: Claude might be there, or might drop by without warning, given that he seems to live with her at least part time. If she is contacting Liem rather than him… perhaps she would prefer if that did not happen.]

Or… would you like to stop by my residence?

[… Bingo!

After a brief pause in which she debates admitting she’s already near there or not-]

That would be preferred, yes.

Of course. I'm at home, so, feel free to stop by.

[Liem is probably in the middle of hanging laundry or something, but it'll only take him a few more minutes to finish. He can surely be done before she arrives. It's not like she's already right there... right?]

I see. I am in Springstar today, so I will see you shortly.

[… “Thank you”.

No. Surely he is aware she is grateful. She will save the words for a more important time, such as… after he has overseen the transformation. That makes the most sense, naturally. With the mental impression of a bow, she departs his mind.

And after waiting ten minutes or so just to be polite and perhaps semi-believable…

She arrives at Liem’s home, ready to knock… or, you know, awkwardly raise a hand to wave if he’s outside.]

[Fortunately, ten minutes or so is sufficient for Liem to finish hanging his linens and to be returning in through his back door when he hears a knock echoing through the house. Setting the empty basket aside, he hurries to the front door so he can answer it, swinging it open to gaze up at the jinba woman waiting half-on the decidedly not-jinba-sized porch.]

Hayame— Please, ah, come in.

[He’ll move back to accommodate her entrance, retreating further into the house so she can duck through his front door. The townhouse he purchased is unfortunately rather typical of Springstar, which means it’s narrow and has multiple levels, in the interest of fitting a good amount of house on not too much land. Usually he would just invite her around to the back garden, but his neighbours can definitely see down into his yard from their upper floors. It is not especially private.

Fortunately, after the narrow entranceway, the main floor of Liem’s home is mostly open, the sitting room transitioning into a dining area and then a kitchen, with nary a wall in between. There is room to maneuver at least, even if none of the furniture is suitable for a jinba’s use.]

[Normally, Hayame would go to the back garden. She had maneuvered up the stairs to Liem's previous residence a time or two, but since he'd moved here she had correspondingly moved her visits outside... though more often, she now asked him to visit her and allow her to host, as her home in Alenroux (thanks to... him) was far more suitable for a jinba indoors.

... But this time, his house is the best choice. Surely.

After a brief greeting... she begins maneuvering in. It is an awkward display, trying to get an equine body up the narrow staircase onto his porch and then in past the equally narrow entrance, but... He has seen her at far worse, more than once. She can survive the embarrassment of this. And despite her body, she has a person's mind to dictate where she places her hooves and human hands to help balance when needed, so...]

Pardon me...

[She makes it in. After moving to the side to let him back past her to close the door behind her (she cannot turn around until getting into the main room), she bows more properly... and when she straightens, she has a relatively simple-looking copper bracelet in her hands, marked only by a single clear crystal set in to it that, upon closer inspection, seems to be something that can be turned in its setting.]

... This is what Cetina provided.

[He'd said he had no direct experience, but perhaps he has seen similar... magic objects? She offers it up for inspection either way. Stalling? Maybe. She cannot deny she is not... ~~afraid~~ nervous.]

Supposedly... turning the gem will activate it. But it can only be used once a day before it requires time to recharge. Or so I was told.

[Liem’s home was most definitely not built with jinba guests in mind, a fact that he rues a little as he squeezes past Hayame to close the door behind her, but once she has made it into his main room and he is free to greet her properly, he accepts the bracelet that she offers for him to inspect, holding it delicately between his fingers as he looks at the simple copper and the clear crystal.

It is a simple enough item: enough so, in fact, that when he uses magic to inspect it as he did Hayame’s implanted eye, he is able to discern both the mechanism for its activation and the single daily charge in the magic patterns emanating from it.]

Hm… Yes.

[He nods, then offers the bracelet back to her.]

Such items are more cost effective when a limit like that is built in. Creating one that had the power to function whenever you liked would be, as I understand it, significantly more expensive.

Generally with such an item, the effect lasts a preset length of time. I do not see a means of undoing the spell manually on the item itself, so I assume this is the case?

[He makes the thought a question: did Cetina tell her how long it lasts?]

[Although Hayame considered Liem to be “like her”, in some ways, lumping them together as those that came from worlds with no bizarre metal technologies, clothes that made a certain sense, and more modest comportment in a general sense… sometimes he still did say something that reminded her they came from very different places indeed.

Yes, of course. Cost effective to make the miracle bracelet able to do miracles against what nature should allow only once a day. Yes, yes.

… She still half wonders if it will even work.]

Half a day max, she said. Maybe a little less.

[Accepting the bangle back, she stares at it before beginning to carefully fit it over her hand and onto her wrist. As an archer, she preferred to eschew jewelry anywhere near bow and quiver, but. She wore two bracelets now. The other detected the demonic. Without it… she would not be able to sleep decently. Not these days.]

… Should I expect pain?

[If it wasn’t an illusion, but an actual… change? Not that pain would deter her, not when the uses were potentially as serious as she could imagine for such a power, but.

It’s good to know beforehand. So she can brace for it.]

[Liem seems surprised by her question—and then a little hesitant, a thoughtful frown creasing his brow.]

I would not think so. Certainly I wouldn’t expect it were we in my own country.

[Still… he can’t say definitively that it won’t be painful. Kenos’s magic differs from Golarion’s in some strange and foreign ways. Though he’d think that such spells would be developed with comfort in mind, ultimately it’s not like he can guarantee it.]

… Would you like to hold onto me while you use it?

[To help maintain her balance? Or perhaps just because she seems a little bit nervous…?]

[Hmm. Perhaps there will not be any, somehow? To her, a woman from a world with no magic at all, it seems obvious that there should be pain. Would her body not twist and shrink and... where would her bones go? What about her flesh? Her hooves? She has to stop herself before she thinks any further, because the more grotesque the wondering becomes...

No. She will still do it, because the potential... as much as she hated to need to think of such underhanded tactics, being able to change her shape in this way could allow her to do more for the sake of Meridian's victory. As the only shard-bearer in this generation that did not walk on two legs... She was easy to identify, particularly after the broadcast. She could not travel in Highstorm any longer without being noticed. She had never been able to move effectively in Kowloon because of how narrow the lanes were, how many stairs connected that dark and crowded space. If she could...

She just had to think of it as... "another arrow in her quiver".

His question, though, makes her blink in surprise. Hold onto him? Why would she- ? Oh. The answer comes quickly enough.]

I have been around humans all my life, I should certainly hope I know how they stand up...

[Of all the things she was concerned about, being able to move in a human shape was, perhaps strangely, not one of them. After all... Had she not been raised by humans, and not her own kind? Did she not know from working beside them the limits of a human body, how they walked, the way their legs moved? Surely she can replicate it. But despite the instinct to defend her completely untested abilities...

It's probably not... unwise... As confident as she is that she'd be able to handle acting human... Perhaps at first it might take some adjustment.]

But...

[In that case... Hayame looks down at her hands, and then over to Liem, lips pursing somewhat awkwardly as she reaches out and then... hesitates, her one uncovered eye flicking back up to his face. She has held him before, and... he has held her. She has cradled his Shard in her hands, kept it safe tucked between her breasts. But...

Where should she... ? She finds herself looking to him for guidance on what sort of hold would be appropriate. Er, most useful.]

[She seems confident, so Liem won’t question her further. For all he knows, the magic might help her balance on two legs naturally. Maybe it really won’t be a problem at all.

Even so, when she agrees to his suggestion regardless, he reaches out, soberly suppressing a smile, and takes both her hands to place them on his shoulders. One hand he simply releases, so she can activate the bracelet; his other hand slides up her wrist to steady the bracelet itself.]

Just in case, [he supplies. After all, even if she’s watched humans all her life, the transformation itself might send her off-balance.]

[... Oh, yes. Of course. His shoulders, like when she had come to him for instruction on how to dance as humans did at fancy events such as that masquerade ball held on that mysterious island. Her first instinct is to think that the difference in their heights is too... Except, naturally, she will be... human, so, she will be shorter soon.

In her mind, she assumes... She will still be relatively tall, surely. Because she has simply always been tall, and she conceptualizes herself as towering over those around her. But if she lets herself consider it... will she even still look like herself? Will she have a completely different face? A different body type? Her brow furrows... But she stops herself. If she lets herself consider all those possibilities she might never just do it, so-

Hayame adjusts her brace on his shoulders just so, smoothing his clothing down a bit with her thumb, and... nods.]

... Yes. That may be wise.

[She takes a breath, then just one more,]

Alright...

[Before forcing herself to just do it. Just turn the crystal in the bracelet, so that-]

[From one blink to the next, so fast that someone might struggle to articulate just how the change had occurred or if they'd even seen anything shift at all, the person holding on to Liem magically transforms from a seven foot tall centaur to... a five foot tall human woman. It is still very much Hayame's face, still her fit, athletic build, it has just been translated onto the body of a human woman typical of her world, era, and region. The clothing that a moment ago had been quite well fitted is suddenly awkward without equine withers and larger proportions, and though her robe hangs a bit strangely it at least stays on. It is her pelt wrap that simply abandons her, dropping quietly down to the floor in a fawn-soft circle around her bare feet. Feet. With toes. Attached to legs, with knees that lock up stiff, something that, combined with how fiercely she is clutching Liem's shoulders, does manage to keep her standing upright despite the disorienting configuration.

She doesn't seem to have noticed her exposure. She is used to her entire lower half being unclad, actually, so perhaps to her it feels completely normal at first. Judging by the shocked expression on her face... She's more concerned with other things. Mainly the fact that-

There was-

Where was-

Why was she looking up at Liem? Why did her entire body feel so weak, so cramped, so shoved into a skeleton too small for it? Why can't she smell anything? Why does her heartbeat sound so strange, pounding in her ears with only a single thrum? Her mouth opens, but...

Nothing comes out but a very delayed, way too large inhale, instinctively trying to fill four lungs when she only has two.]

[The transformation goes much as Liem expects: over in moments, leaving Hayame small and very obviously human in the middle of his living area. His free hand comes up to steady her shoulder when she changes and he feels her grip on him tighten, but she remains steady enough with just her grip on his shoulders. His glance down at the soft thwup of her pelt hitting the floor is almost casual—

But the way his eyes snap back up to her face is decidedly not. Though his expression remains unchanged, reassuringly steady while Hayame stares and gasps as though short of breath, a faint tinge of violet touches his cheekbones and the tips of his ears.]

It seems to have worked as expected, [he says lightly, keeping his gaze fixed firmly on Hayame’s eyes. Avoiding the urge to look down is made more challenging, however, when her eyes are now roughly level with his collarbones.] How are you feeling? Would you like to sit down?

[Please sit down, Hayame, so he can go fetch you something to put on your rear.]

[For a moment, Hayame can't really take in anything about Liem. She's taking in more... of what isn't Liem. A second ago, she had been able to smell the scent of the product he used to wash his body, the sort of candles he liked to burn in his home, the last tea he had prepared, the intrinsic scent of it all combined that was vaguely different for every person, that was "Liem" to her, and now it's...

It's like someone had stuffed her nose with cotton. Her vision seems slightly different, in a way she cannot identify. His voice feels so quiet and dull in her new ears. Her chest feels too small, too tight, and though she's trying to breathe it feels like her ribs aren't expanding enough, her hearts (heart?) aren't beating powerfully enough, and-]

It...

[Finally, she realizes that Liem is... blushing? She has seen this man in many a circumstance, perhaps some that others have not, but had she ever...

Had... Had the ring changed her? Had it somehow made her so devastatingly gorgeous that a grown man would flush to simply behold her??? Confused, she looks around for some sort of reflective surface, recalling vaguely that Liem had a mirror in his entranceway, but in the process she sees... What's her pelt wrap doing on the floor? Are those muscular dun (tan?) legs really her legs? They're so bare seeming, except for the thatch of dark hair between, and that-

That-

It wasn't behind her anymore it was down and-]

Ah...

[With a sudden jerk, Hayame stiffens up like a wooden board, pulling her hands off Liem to instead try and jerk her robe down further to cover her sex, assuming that she will be fine with balancing. But you know what they say about assuming. Used to hooves, she does not flex her feet properly and starts to tip back, her toes catch the pelt wrap and drag it forward, the other side then tugging on her heel, and unless Liem has very good reflexes...

Hayame is going down.]

[The good news in this situation is that Liem’s reflexes are excellent, and he is more than strong enough to catch a falling five-foot woman without being in any danger of toppling over himself. When Hayame’s hands fly down and she begins to topple over, he lunges to catch her and manages to avoid slipping on the furry boobytrap lying at her feet.

The bad news is this involves pulling Hayame almost flush against him, which is particularly awkward given present circumstances. At least Liem isn’t a hound, and is in no danger suddenly sporting any unwanted boners, but it’s still far from ideal.

Cautiously easing back a little, he slides his gaze away from her until it lands on the door to the powder room on his main floor.]

Might I suggest you visit my washroom?

[Liem steps slightly to the side, turning her towards it.]

It has a mirror inside. I will bring you something to wear.

[... Something very disorienting just happened.

One second she is realized in a dumb panic that she is entirely half-naked in front of a man with no dun coat or heavy black tail to hang over her nethers. It's just right there, completely out, and not even in some sort of mixed bathing situation where she had been mentally prepared. She had been concerned with so many other factors and possible negative outcomes that the idea of clothing had not even entered her mind.

And then she had been falling. Now she is jerked in the other direction, but not to fall again, to... be blind? She is blind, everything is dark-

No. That is... Liem's chest. Her face is level with his chest now and its his clothes that are dark. At some point mid-starting to fall she had switched from tugging down her robe for modesty and begun to flail, which had become a desperate clutch around the dhampir's waist, and now... She might be blushing, too. She is not sure. Everything and something is happening, none of her senses are working, and...]

Y- Yes... of course...

[Did she still sound like herself? Stiffly, she tries to let go of Liem, allowing him to direct her towards a room in his home she hasn't been to before. It's just over there, she'll... Liem is her friend, it should be of no consequence if he beholds her rump, it's fine. One step at a time, metaphorically as well as literally, and she will... take stock of herself. There's a mirror. She can check if it's still her.

Incredibly confident somehow still, never considering that she would struggle with movement because she had been raised alongside humans since birth, Hayame begins to walk towards the washroom.

And instead, she crumples right to the floor, potentially on her face.]

[Hayame is quite bold to assume that Liem is going to stand there and watch her walk bare-assed over to his washroom door. He is actually intending to help her there, especially given the fact that she very nearly fell over just moments ago—but he’s not prepared for the confidence with which she pulls away from him so she can make her own way over to it.

And go sprawling right there on his floor.]

Ah—!

[Startled, he hurries back over to crouch at her side, his gaze sliding past her bottom like water skittering over a hot pan. This seems like forbidden knowledge. He shouldn’t know what her rear looks like as a human woman…]

Carefully, Hayame. I’ll help you there.

[He very politely doesn’t bring up how confident she’d been that walking on two legs would be no problem for her.]

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konoha D:'ing the fun fact in another dimension...

it’s fine, it’s fine…

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