[Liem does not miss the shiver that takes Cardan as he stays wrapped around him, forfeiting his body heat to the cause of touching his lover. With any other person, he would suspect he was being indulged—but even if he were not obliged to believe Cardan when he says he prefers Liem’s desire, by now he has already learned that lesson multiple times over. His husband seems to value nothing quite as much as Liem’s greed for both his time and his person. Presumably because he wishes to be the centre of Liem’s attention at all times.]
Soon, I would hope, you will not need to choose.
[Occupied with the indulgent heat of Cardan’s mouth at his ear, he’s let his eyes fall shut when he murmurs his reply. His own shiver has nothing to do with cold.
After a moment, though, his hunger compels him to twist in Cardan’s grasp, impatient as he always inevitably becomes to get his mouth on his lover also. Not even the delight of Cardan’s hands wandering his skin and his kisses warming the back of his neck can distract him for long.]
Perhaps we would become warmer, [he suggests,] if we were not crouching naked on the floor.
[ He should have expected Liem's impatience to get the best of him -- he has long noted his husband's preference for being face-to-face. It's just that Cardan is currently ill-equipped to field the chilled touch of his hands and lips just anywhere, despite the grand proclamation he's just made.
Still, his husband has a point. He ducks down to press one last kiss to Liem's bare shoulder and cast a longing glance at the nascent flames -- and then goes to rise, pulling Liem up with him as he goes. ]
My husband is such a sensible man.
[ Cardan will kiss him, then, against his own better judgment, because he's not a sensible man at all -- and because Liem is so charming in his (Cardan-induced) dishevelment, because Cardan cannot look at him lately without being gripped by longing.
He does also take the opportunity to slip his hands into Liem's, to better safeguard against any mischief on his husband's part. ]
[Liem feels anything but sensible with the warmth from Cardan’s kisses shivering through him, and happiness making him eager and impatient for his husband’s lips against his own. He can’t make himself care about anything else when they are alone like this. More than anyone else ever has, Cardan excels at making Liem feel foolish and carefree, heedless of his life’s important concerns.
But he doesn’t contradict Cardan, even when his husband kisses him and takes his hands in his own, and every clever thought he’s ever had flees his head beneath the weight of his yearning. Because when Cardan looks at him like this, and speaks to him with that hint of fondness that has become so familiar, it makes him wish to oblige his every word.
Despite his suggestion, he does not hurry to finish kissing his husband. Cardan is no less irresistible while towelled and half nude than he was with rain soaking his clothes and eyelashes, and though Liem’s hands are occupied in Cardan’s, he quite eagerly reacquaints himself with the soft, sultry shape of his husband’s mouth.
When he pulls away, it is with restless breaths that no amount of running around in the rain ever demanded from him.]
You make me so impatient, [he observes.] I’ve dragged you out into the chilling rain, and now I find myself loath to wait through the consequences.
[ Cardan laughs again, and lifts Liem's hands to his face so that he may press his mouth to those chilly palms, one after the other. It is impossible to hide how delighted he is with Liem's proclamation, or with the cadence of his breathing, or the hunger in his kisses. And why would he want to? He wants to see Liem's happiness, and to be seen in turn. ]
What is it you'd told me? "You are ever the engineer of your own problems."
[ He steps back, once, twice, until the backs of his legs hit the couch. Only then does he reach down to let the damp towel crumple at his feet -- and then fold himself onto the seat, pulling the blanket around himself. Even the suggestion of warmth makes his body give another involuntary shiver.
Not that this stops him from pulling Liem into his lap, right on top of said blanket. Cardan wants to kiss him -- wants to run greedy hands down his body, splay them over his hips, wants to fan that impatience until it burns hot as the fire Liem started. So he will. But while he's doing it, between ardent kisses-- ]
I love the way impatience looks on you, [ he will tell Liem, acutely aware that he's treading awfully close to the line of bare honesty, that he cannot help but sound enamoured when he says it. ] It rouses all of my worst impulses.
[Given that he only rarely steals into the woods with his husband to suffer the mercy of the elements, and yet still often ends up kissing Cardan far less than he would like, Liem must admit that Cardan is correct to accuse him of causing his own problems. He is well used to yearning wistfully to be wrapped around Cardan while circumstances prevent him from doing so. It is just that usually he must restrain himself because of obligations he has shouldered, rather than because he dragged his husband out into the pouring rain.
On this occasion, at least, he still has Cardan’s keen attention, if not the freedom to touch him as he’d like. As always, when his husband kisses his hands, he is caught between his own want and tender bewilderment that this should be his, still, so many months after their wedding. Leaving his own towel to crumple to the floor, he follows his husband readily back towards the couch, where he lets himself be pulled into Cardan’s lap with a feeling between eagerness and relief.
The second shiver afflicting his husband does not prevent Liem from taking Cardan’s face in his hands when he leans in to kiss him again.]
How fortunate for me, then, that I love being at the mercy of all your impulses.
[He loves Cardan’s greed and his cruelty and his surprising, irresistible tenderness. He loves feeling Cardan’s hunger for him, for his body and his pleasure and his desperation. Most of all, he loves belonging to him, and letting Cardan take what he likes and treat him how he will. Even when Cardan is being cruel—perhaps especially then—no one else has ever made him feel so completely taken care of.]
[ The world is perfect, just then. Never mind that he is still cold -- as are Liem's hands, as are his kisses. Cardan cannot help his happy sigh nor the greedy transit of his hands down Liem's flanks, over his thighs, tracing the familiar landscape of his body. He arches into his husband's kiss with a hunger that surprises even himself. For all that he is wary of Liem's rare forays into mischief -- having never particularly recovered from having icy hands shoved up his shirt the one time -- there is something inevitably thrilling about giving himself to him, no matter how foolish it might be. ]
It's me who is at your mercy, husband, [ he breathes, between kisses. Desire dances down his spine. He nips at Liem's lower lip, impatient with himself, with the fire slowly growing in the hearth. His hands find his lover's hips, pull him in closer, so that Cardan can field an entirely different kind of shiver as he moves against him. When he speaks next, it is quiet -- like the words are meant more for himself than for Liem. ]
I need you so fervently.
[ That, too, is its own kind of offering, its own kind of bareness -- rarely has he been so forthright with Liem without also being overwhelmed with pleasure. But it has been so long since he's had him to himself; Cardan needs him to know. ]
Edited (i wanted to preview but dw decided i meant to post) 2025-01-05 11:31 (UTC)
[Liem feels desire scorch him when Cardan’s teeth find his lip, when he is pulled closer to feel Cardan move against him. Even through the coy, plush barrier of the blanket, the familiar feel of him as Liem straddles his lap makes possessiveness flare against the inside of his ribs.
He cannot be displeased about their current circumstances, no matter how spartan, when they mean he and Cardan have each other all to themselves.
Liem slides an arm around his shoulders, his hunger for Cardan’s nearness having already eclipsed his caution about inflicting his rain-chilled person on his husband. Surely it is enough that most of Cardan is wrapped in a cozy blanket. Liem is willing to resist the temptation to sneak his hands inside it, but he insists on wrapping himself around his husband, too.
Especially when Cardan murmurs such things between their kisses. The brush of those words against his mouth make need claw its way out of him like a wild thing.]
Cardan…
[He wants so, so badly to give himself to him, to touch him—to let his hands and mouth map his body, again, again. The transit of Cardan’s hands over his skin makes resisting this want only marginally easier; he still sighs a restless breath against his jaw, terribly, frustratingly distracted.]
[ It is good that, between the two of them, it is Liem who is the responsible one -- because he forever distracts Cardan from all else, no matter how important. Already, Cardan barely remembers anything that isn't wanting; already, he's so impatient. If he were the one they relied on to keep track of ledgers and calendars, surely their business would have gone under as soon as they had established it.
When that mouth finds his jaw, part of him wants to tip his face up, to let Liem has his way with his throat -- another, marginally smarter part, knows he would still be too distracted by the temperature.
Soon, he thinks, as if expecting his husband to read his mind. Soon Liem will have those tender, vulnerable parts of him; soon he'll be able to feel the pulse beating hot and impertinent in his throat. Soon, soon, if not soon enough.
He sighs, too, bringing his hands up to cup Liem's face, his thumb tracing over the line of his lip, where Cardan's teeth had just been. ]
It's never soon enough.
[ His little smile is wan, a little harried by need. ]
Can you hear it, Liem? My heart.
[ How it speeds, surely, hammering against his ribcage. He feels the pulse of it all the way down to his cock; feels the heat of the blood rushing frantically through his veins.
It is yours, he almost says. It has been yours for months. Except: something catches in his throat, holds him back. He only kisses Liem instead, to hide the ache of longing that must be so plain on his face. ]
[Cardan is right: It is never soon enough, no matter how many times they steal intimate moments together in the course of their busy nights. There are always gatherings to attend, contacts to review, witnesses to evade, clothes to dispense with. He can’t remember the last time he wanted to touch Cardan and could simply pull him close then and there. The curse of his insistence on getting things done is that taking time for just himself and his husband is never as easy as he would like.
He returns Cardan’s faint smile, wry with the knowledge of his own ravenous impatience. Still, the hands cupping his face trap him in place, snaring him more surely than any Faerie spell could. The dark, intent gaze keeps him willingly captive.
Only when Cardan leans in once more and kisses him does Liem capitulate to the demands of his hunger, want sliding out of him on a soft, wordless murmur as his teeth graze his lover’s mouth. He is so enamoured with him—his taste, his smell; the shape of him pressed close, traced beneath soft lips and careful hands.]
I can.
[He can hear Cardan’s heart. He wants to find that hurried pulse with his mouth, wants to stamp tender kisses over his chest and along his throat. He wants to feel it flutter against his tongue, speeding with his lover’s urgent need. Foolish though he may be, he cannot help but feel sentimental when it does, as though that heart beats only for him.]
[ Fortunately for Cardan, he is not constrained by any need to behave. He can sweep his mouth over Liem's jaw, can paint the tender skin just beneath it with hungry, heated kisses -- can follow the path of an errant rain drop down to the hollow of Liem's throat. As he does, his breath grows heavy with his own desire. However greedy Liem might think himself to be, he is certain he is worse, has always been worse.
It's working, at any rate; he feels distinctly less aware of the cold and more aware of his husband. His hands sweep up Liem's sides, over his ribs, long fingers eager to tease at his chest. Some part of him is always delighted by this -- by the permission to do anything at all, all while his husband is compelled to wait. It makes him smile, right against Liem's collarbone -- and then more openly, as he glances up at Liem's face. ]
You are accomplished at inflaming its passions.
[ The blanket between them suddenly feels stifling, despite that Cardan still needs it. How is he supposed to endure having his husband bare and wanting in his lap, and not crave the feel of him against his bare skin? He breathes in, feeling impatience simmer in his veins, insistent. ]
It's been too long.
[ It's his own fault, this time -- having seen the stark consequences of his taking up all of Liem's time, he'd attempted to be less demanding and more helpful. But perhaps that had been a mistake. Perhaps his longing cannot be diminished by avoidance, only staved off for a short time, like a dam destined to break. ]
[There is a familiar kind of pleasure in restraining himself like this, perched atop Cardan’s lap while his husband eagerly explores his body as though they were reuniting after a weeks-long separation. Liem curls his fingers in the blanket’s soft fabric, clutching restlessly at it as he tips his head to accommodate the hungry transit of Cardan’s mouth down his throat. The heat that flares in the wake of those kisses slides straight to his untouched cock, and as always, the cruel delight of it makes him want to squirm.
Impatient though he is to touch his lover, he still succumbs so easily to the indulgent thrill of suffering frustration at his whim. That he is technically free to touch Cardan any time he wishes makes the pleasure of submission no less keen.]
An oversight, surely, [he breathes, glancing at his radiant-looking spouse from beneath lowered lashes. His chest rises and falls readily beneath Cardan’s eager hands.] We’d best make up the difference.
[Only, Liem has no idea for how much longer that will involve Cardan entertaining himself at his expense.]
[ At times like this, when he senses Liem's fingers flex restlessly in the fabric, feels the tension in the beautiful body beneath his touch, he always feels a little giddy. It makes him remember all the times Liem has let him toy with his body and his desire, has let Cardan boss him around and treat him like an obedient pet, and -- evidently -- gotten off on it all the same. It's intoxicating, that sort of power. He knows not how Liem's other lovers were ever anything but deranged about it.
Cardan has certainly never managed the same.
Soon, he tells himself. Whether due to the fire or the insistently sped-up beat of his heart, he is thawing out. The hands lazily playing with his husband's nipples are warmer; he's no longer shivering at all. Heat curls in his abdomen, insistent. ]
We have all day, [ he murmurs, not bothering to conceal his breathless infatuation. His gaze lingers on his husband's mouth. Cardan holds his longing like a breath, letting it expand until it becomes a little urgent, until he can no longer stand it. He is addicted to this, too: the relief he feels when he kisses Liem again, when he claims him for his own. ]
Though it won't be enough time.
[ There will never be enough time. He could have several eternities -- he does, at least in theory -- and he would never have touched Liem enough, had him enough. Such a state does not exist. ]
[Though they will be no less busy tomorrow than on any other night, and though it would be wiser for them to catch at least a few hours of sleep during daylight hours, it does not occur to Liem to consider the strangeness of Cardan’s assertion. The privacy they have stolen in this quiet little shelter makes the manor and all its responsibilities seem miles away; Cardan’s clever hands and warm kisses are obviously of much more immediate importance.
And even if Liem had disagreed, he could not refuse his husband when he looks at him like that, like he would wither away altogether if he couldn’t touch him.]
It never is.
[He murmurs just a breath away from Cardan’s mouth before returning for another kiss, urgent and tender and insatiable. He can never have enough of the intent, unflagging attention his lover pays him, be it affection, mischief or cruelty. And Cardan is so skilled at inflaming Liem’s desire, distracting him with feral need for his touch. Want aches beneath his skin everywhere his lover has touched: his hungry mouth, his throat, his flushed chest and the teased-taut nipples beneath Cardan’s fingers.
His husband spoils him so religiously with his attention—and Liem cannot say the same. This too feels like an oversight, one he sometimes feels he cannot possibly ignore. He does not think Cardan feels this lack as he does, and still, and still…]
No, [ he agrees. He is so unaccountably, terribly greedy for his husband. Need for him simmers under his skin, increasingly difficult to ignore. His hand slides into Liem's hair, cradling the back of his head so Cardan can keep him close, can kiss him with all the hungry urgency thrumming through his blood.
There is not enough of Liem, either. The barrier of fabric between them is starting to become truly loathsome; given the way arousal has seemed to set his body alight, he could probably pull it off, could probably give them the satisfaction they both want. Except: it seems that spending time around Liem's particular appetites has made Cardan perverse in ways he hasn't quite anticipated -- because he doesn't. For all of his frustrated desire, the fingers that skitter down Liem's sternum are not headed for the fabric at all. Cardan's palm sweeps down to Liem's stomach, and then lower, finding its way between their bodies to wrap warm fingers around the familiar shape of Liem's cock. ]
I want this first, [ he will tell Liem, his impatience making way to indulgence. His mouth curls; his smile is hungry, too. ] The way you look when you come undone.
[ It's so breathtaking; recalling his husband caught by pleasure in times past makes lust pang through him, heavy and insistent. He has to lean in, has to steal another breathless kiss. Cardan is so hypocritically full of longing for him already. ]
[Despite the tenor of his thoughts, Liem can’t resist the smile that steals over him when Cardan indulges the pleasure of tormenting him a little more. The fingers wrapping around his erection coax a shiver from him; the hungry smile catches his gaze and holds it tight. He cannot resist that greed, not now or any other day.
It is obvious enough in the way he meets that breathless kiss.]
As many times as you like.
[A reckless promise; he always wants his husband’s embrace before long, always wants to have his warmth tucked against him and his scent filling his senses. He does not want to remain restrained like this forever, regardless of how addictive he finds being at his husband’s mercy.
Still, how could Liem refuse him? He always, always wants Cardan’s greed. He knows no reason why he should ever cease to want it. He murmurs against the trap of Cardan’s soft, beguiling mouth.]
[ Cardan breathes him in, enamoured and giddy with affection, with Liem's resolute readiness to give him everything he asks for. Much as he does indeed want to watch, he finds it difficult to pull away from his husband's soft mouth and his gentle kisses. He tips his head -- a tiny movement -- to brush his lips against Liem's, to torment them both with the closeness of barely-there touch. ]
You are ever, [ he tells Liem, tenderly amused, ] my favourite glutton for punishment.
[ His teeth press against Liem's lip, but even this bite is soft, more caress than nip. He has truly become such a depraved creature under Liem's patient tutelage. The stroke of his fingers is equally languid, unhurried -- even as his own pulse spikes, fluttering with ardent desire. ]
You ought to be careful, husband. You make teasing you so rewarding, and you have wed such an intemperate man.
[ Because Cardan ever wants to push the boundaries of good sense, to see how far their desperation can go until it devours them entirely.
His exhalation is a little shaky. ]
Do you even know how distracting you were in that forest? All wet and terribly fuckable.
[Liem shivers again as Cardan teases him with the whisper of lips and the gentle scrape of teeth, an accompaniment to the lazy stroke of warm fingers over his cock. His restless breaths ghost soft and cool over Cardan’s cheek as he brushes another distracted kiss against the corner of his mouth, too drowned in his own affection to stop touching Cardan even for a moment.
And since there is still very little of his husband he is permitted to touch, his mouth continues to be very busy. He swallows down an impatient noise at the soft sound of Cardan’s warning, clutching at the composure he is ever so loath to relinquish.
He still does not want to give his lover what he wants too easily.]
I have an idea of it.
[Cardan has not been shy about illustrating his desire, and after all, Liem is not the only one who spent the last few hours soaking wet and half undressed. But admittedly, there is no shortage of times he has glanced at Cardan and felt assailed by his charms. This is not a new phenomenon.]
[ As ever, his patience is bound to last only so long. He is too besotted with Liem, too happy to have him in his clutches, too full of his own burgeoning need. Liem's shiver provokes one of his own; Cardan's eyes fall shut, and this time he does nip, a little punitive, at the soft skin just below Liem's jaw. ]
I do not think you do.
...I thought to be considerate, husband. I wanted to give you time to work, you see, instead of taking up all your mornings with fucking and nonsense.
[ He pauses, and then -- pulls himself away, to lean against the back of the couch. This way, his serious gaze can find Liem's face and look upon him fully. This time, the caress of his hand is no longer teasing; he has tightened his grip, his rhythm slow but inexorable. ]
I see now this was a foolish thing to do.
[ How could he have possibly contained his desire? He has never been particularly restrained, but it turns out that being thus about Liem is a very special kind of madness. The black gaze on Liem's face isn't flirtatious so much as it is consuming. ]
I want your hands on me, Liem. I want to have you-- I want everything.
[The last thing Liem expects to hear, following the spark of pleasure-pain when Cardan’s teeth find his neck, is that his husband has for the past weeks been trying to be considerate of his workload. Natural though it would be to tip his head back and invite further attention to his throat, bewilderment pulls his gaze back to Cardan.
He’d thought his husband fatigued, or perhaps even feeling out of sorts after their quarrel in the woods. It had not occurred to Liem that Cardan might deny himself anything for his sake. Without any obvious cause, this prospect sends anxiety worming into him.]
Fucking… and nonsense, [he says breathlessly, resisting the urge to close his eyes against the seduction of Cardan’s hand working him,] are pillars… of our marriage.
[His gaze, though a little distracted, is nonetheless earnest. He slides one hand back up the side of his husband’s throat to cup his jaw, thumb tracing the full curve of his mouth.
He does not want to imagine a marriage where he and Cardan devote themselves only to work. He relies on his husband’s intemperate greed to interrupt the routine demands of his nightly schedule. However inconvenient such interruptions might be, he hungers for that inconvenience like he needs it to live.]
[ He breathes out, a little unsteadily, against Liem's skin. Over and over, it takes him by surprise -- how seeing his husband's composure falter makes his own need flare so hotly. It pulses through his throat, all the way down to his abdomen, nearly keen enough to distract him from his own laugh.
Nearly. The laughter bubbles out of him, and this is a little unsteady too, his smile tucked against Liem's touch. ]
I shan't commit such folly again.
[ He couldn't, anyway. The idea of restraining himself any longer already feels unbearable. He cannot imagine doing it when Liem is like this, hard and wanting in the palm of his hand, touching him with such tender greed. His lips part, trapping Liem's thumb in the soft, eager heat of his mouth. The blanket between them has long slid down, baring Cardan's chest as it lies crumpled around his hips -- though that's difficult enough as it is.
Then give it to me, he thinks but doesn't say, occupied as he is with the digit in his mouth. But his black gaze on Liem's face is hungry, his touch on Liem's cock increasingly ruthless. At times, he wonders if it's his curse, that his affection is inevitably just a little too greedy, a little too sharp-edged and selfish. But Liem has yet to complain about it, and anyway, Cardan cannot help what he is.
What he is, right this moment, is electrically horny and wildly impatient. ]
[Of the many things about his husband that Liem adores, few things undo him so completely as Cardan’s laugh. It is his husband who is radiant when joy takes him, truly. Liem feels affection transform his expression, hungry distraction warming as Cardan smiles against his hand. Of course he cannot help but smile back, far too tender and wanting, and he cannot hide it at all.
He cannot, because Cardan wanted to see him come undone—and Liem is getting closer with each insistent stroke of his hand. The lewd heat of his husband’s mouth and the intent, greedy stare capturing his gaze only shoulder him headlong down the steep slope of his pleasure, making heat pulse in his gut and his breath come hard in his lungs. His free hand clutches at the back of the couch, before he reconsiders and drags his fingers down Cardan’s chest instead.
He wants this. He wants Cardan’s hungry desperation, he wants his tenderness and his affection, he wants his impatience and his pleasure and his greed and his trust. He wants to share these stolen moments with only him, and stretch them out so they can pretend they might last forever.
But Liem is not going to last forever. He is not going to last much longer at all in his lover’s demanding grasp, and when he finally comes apart, he has to clutch at Cardan’s chest to resist the urge to smother the needy moan that sneaks its way out of him, betraying the extent of his hunger.]
[ As he strokes his husband through his climax, Cardan's eyes go a little wide -- caught, somehow, by the sound of that moan, by the warmth in Liem's smile, by the transit of those cool fingers over his skin. Lust slams into him with a howling ferocity, making his hips move against Liem's weight atop his lap, frustrated by the barrier of soft fabric between them. ]
Oh--
[ He breathes out, pausing to let his heart calm a little, before he slips his grip from Liem's cock to splay over his hip instead. He's distracted about this. His eyes stay on Liem's face, his mouth, the crystalline blue of his eyes. His gaze is serious and a little desperate. ]
It is absurd, how beautiful you are.
[ He could have put it in prettier words, maybe, could have made himself sound less obviously infatuated. But Liem has set every nerve in his body alight with impatience, and now it is a little difficult to concentrate. ]
...sometimes, I fear it will be my undoing.
Edited (corrected the comma but missed the SUPER OBVIOUS typo just above it) 2025-01-18 08:09 (UTC)
[For a very long moment, nothing exists in Liem’s world but the dark eyes staring into his and the hand ruthlessly working his cock and the restless body moving impatiently beneath him. Caught tightly in the grip of his climax, he lets sensation swallow him up, and presently finds himself slumped in Cardan’s lap, leaning forward to rest his brow against his husband’s.
He means to say something in reply, but his faculties have not quite returned. Instead, he tips his face to Cardan’s to steal another kiss, and then another, buying himself the time he sorely needs.]
That is fair, and more than fair.
[His palms slide down Cardan’s chest and over his flanks, recalling the restlessness trapped beneath him. The body beneath his touch feels just as feverish as it often does—just as it should.]
[ It takes everything in him not to squirm while Liem takes a moment to catch his breath -- or something like it, anyway. If Liem didn't want his kisses to be a little frantic with need, if he didn't want Cardan to pull him closer, to sigh longingly against his mouth-- well, he probably did want those things, and now he has them. ]
Not... mm... as often as I'd like.
[ Over Liem's shoulder, he spies the fireplace, where flames now dance merrily over the neatly piled wood. Even though it doesn't feel like much time has passed at all, even though his hair is still damp, as is Liem's, he can scarcely recall being too cold to touch his husband. Outside, he senses the first blush of sunrise crawling over the horizon, but that's none of his concern right now. When he shivers under the steady transit of Liem's hands over his body, it has nothing to do with cold. ]
I want you, [ he murmurs, shifting to smear restless kisses against Liem's throat, his shoulder. His hands find Liem's thighs, urging him to move up onto his knees, so that Cardan can get rid of the bothersome barrier of fabric between them. He needs to be bare against his husband -- he needs it so badly it feels like a whole-body ache. ]
[Liem does want Cardan’s frantic kisses and longing sigh and eager touch. He always wants these things, even when he is meant to be thinking of other matters—and now, gifted as he is with his husband’s impassioned desire, he can feel his chest grow tight with his own jealous greed.
He still cannot fathom that this is his—that Cardan is his. The bubble of his impossible good fortune must surely burst at some point, but until it does, he cannot help but throw himself headlong down whatever path keeps him right here, in Cardan’s arms.]
Take what you want, Cardan.
[He smiles, tipping his head to accommodate the restless kisses wandering his throat. At the urging of Cardan’s hands, he shifts up onto his knees, wandering fingers already sliding further down his lover’s body to part the rumpled layers of blanket gathered around his waist. Even after his own climax, he remains eager for Cardan’s pleasure.
He has yet to discover a limit to this particular desire.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Soon, I would hope, you will not need to choose.
[Occupied with the indulgent heat of Cardan’s mouth at his ear, he’s let his eyes fall shut when he murmurs his reply. His own shiver has nothing to do with cold.
After a moment, though, his hunger compels him to twist in Cardan’s grasp, impatient as he always inevitably becomes to get his mouth on his lover also. Not even the delight of Cardan’s hands wandering his skin and his kisses warming the back of his neck can distract him for long.]
Perhaps we would become warmer, [he suggests,] if we were not crouching naked on the floor.
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Still, his husband has a point. He ducks down to press one last kiss to Liem's bare shoulder and cast a longing glance at the nascent flames -- and then goes to rise, pulling Liem up with him as he goes. ]
My husband is such a sensible man.
[ Cardan will kiss him, then, against his own better judgment, because he's not a sensible man at all -- and because Liem is so charming in his (Cardan-induced) dishevelment, because Cardan cannot look at him lately without being gripped by longing.
He does also take the opportunity to slip his hands into Liem's, to better safeguard against any mischief on his husband's part. ]
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But he doesn’t contradict Cardan, even when his husband kisses him and takes his hands in his own, and every clever thought he’s ever had flees his head beneath the weight of his yearning. Because when Cardan looks at him like this, and speaks to him with that hint of fondness that has become so familiar, it makes him wish to oblige his every word.
Despite his suggestion, he does not hurry to finish kissing his husband. Cardan is no less irresistible while towelled and half nude than he was with rain soaking his clothes and eyelashes, and though Liem’s hands are occupied in Cardan’s, he quite eagerly reacquaints himself with the soft, sultry shape of his husband’s mouth.
When he pulls away, it is with restless breaths that no amount of running around in the rain ever demanded from him.]
You make me so impatient, [he observes.] I’ve dragged you out into the chilling rain, and now I find myself loath to wait through the consequences.
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What is it you'd told me? "You are ever the engineer of your own problems."
[ He steps back, once, twice, until the backs of his legs hit the couch. Only then does he reach down to let the damp towel crumple at his feet -- and then fold himself onto the seat, pulling the blanket around himself. Even the suggestion of warmth makes his body give another involuntary shiver.
Not that this stops him from pulling Liem into his lap, right on top of said blanket. Cardan wants to kiss him -- wants to run greedy hands down his body, splay them over his hips, wants to fan that impatience until it burns hot as the fire Liem started. So he will. But while he's doing it, between ardent kisses-- ]
I love the way impatience looks on you, [ he will tell Liem, acutely aware that he's treading awfully close to the line of bare honesty, that he cannot help but sound enamoured when he says it. ] It rouses all of my worst impulses.
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On this occasion, at least, he still has Cardan’s keen attention, if not the freedom to touch him as he’d like. As always, when his husband kisses his hands, he is caught between his own want and tender bewilderment that this should be his, still, so many months after their wedding. Leaving his own towel to crumple to the floor, he follows his husband readily back towards the couch, where he lets himself be pulled into Cardan’s lap with a feeling between eagerness and relief.
The second shiver afflicting his husband does not prevent Liem from taking Cardan’s face in his hands when he leans in to kiss him again.]
How fortunate for me, then, that I love being at the mercy of all your impulses.
[He loves Cardan’s greed and his cruelty and his surprising, irresistible tenderness. He loves feeling Cardan’s hunger for him, for his body and his pleasure and his desperation. Most of all, he loves belonging to him, and letting Cardan take what he likes and treat him how he will. Even when Cardan is being cruel—perhaps especially then—no one else has ever made him feel so completely taken care of.]
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It's me who is at your mercy, husband, [ he breathes, between kisses. Desire dances down his spine. He nips at Liem's lower lip, impatient with himself, with the fire slowly growing in the hearth. His hands find his lover's hips, pull him in closer, so that Cardan can field an entirely different kind of shiver as he moves against him. When he speaks next, it is quiet -- like the words are meant more for himself than for Liem. ]
I need you so fervently.
[ That, too, is its own kind of offering, its own kind of bareness -- rarely has he been so forthright with Liem without also being overwhelmed with pleasure. But it has been so long since he's had him to himself; Cardan needs him to know. ]
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[Liem feels desire scorch him when Cardan’s teeth find his lip, when he is pulled closer to feel Cardan move against him. Even through the coy, plush barrier of the blanket, the familiar feel of him as Liem straddles his lap makes possessiveness flare against the inside of his ribs.
He cannot be displeased about their current circumstances, no matter how spartan, when they mean he and Cardan have each other all to themselves.
Liem slides an arm around his shoulders, his hunger for Cardan’s nearness having already eclipsed his caution about inflicting his rain-chilled person on his husband. Surely it is enough that most of Cardan is wrapped in a cozy blanket. Liem is willing to resist the temptation to sneak his hands inside it, but he insists on wrapping himself around his husband, too.
Especially when Cardan murmurs such things between their kisses. The brush of those words against his mouth make need claw its way out of him like a wild thing.]
Cardan…
[He wants so, so badly to give himself to him, to touch him—to let his hands and mouth map his body, again, again. The transit of Cardan’s hands over his skin makes resisting this want only marginally easier; he still sighs a restless breath against his jaw, terribly, frustratingly distracted.]
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When that mouth finds his jaw, part of him wants to tip his face up, to let Liem has his way with his throat -- another, marginally smarter part, knows he would still be too distracted by the temperature.
Soon, he thinks, as if expecting his husband to read his mind. Soon Liem will have those tender, vulnerable parts of him; soon he'll be able to feel the pulse beating hot and impertinent in his throat. Soon, soon, if not soon enough.
He sighs, too, bringing his hands up to cup Liem's face, his thumb tracing over the line of his lip, where Cardan's teeth had just been. ]
It's never soon enough.
[ His little smile is wan, a little harried by need. ]
Can you hear it, Liem? My heart.
[ How it speeds, surely, hammering against his ribcage. He feels the pulse of it all the way down to his cock; feels the heat of the blood rushing frantically through his veins.
It is yours, he almost says. It has been yours for months. Except: something catches in his throat, holds him back. He only kisses Liem instead, to hide the ache of longing that must be so plain on his face. ]
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He returns Cardan’s faint smile, wry with the knowledge of his own ravenous impatience. Still, the hands cupping his face trap him in place, snaring him more surely than any Faerie spell could. The dark, intent gaze keeps him willingly captive.
Only when Cardan leans in once more and kisses him does Liem capitulate to the demands of his hunger, want sliding out of him on a soft, wordless murmur as his teeth graze his lover’s mouth. He is so enamoured with him—his taste, his smell; the shape of him pressed close, traced beneath soft lips and careful hands.]
I can.
[He can hear Cardan’s heart. He wants to find that hurried pulse with his mouth, wants to stamp tender kisses over his chest and along his throat. He wants to feel it flutter against his tongue, speeding with his lover’s urgent need. Foolish though he may be, he cannot help but feel sentimental when it does, as though that heart beats only for him.]
I am so greedy for that sound.
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It's working, at any rate; he feels distinctly less aware of the cold and more aware of his husband. His hands sweep up Liem's sides, over his ribs, long fingers eager to tease at his chest. Some part of him is always delighted by this -- by the permission to do anything at all, all while his husband is compelled to wait. It makes him smile, right against Liem's collarbone -- and then more openly, as he glances up at Liem's face. ]
You are accomplished at inflaming its passions.
[ The blanket between them suddenly feels stifling, despite that Cardan still needs it. How is he supposed to endure having his husband bare and wanting in his lap, and not crave the feel of him against his bare skin? He breathes in, feeling impatience simmer in his veins, insistent. ]
It's been too long.
[ It's his own fault, this time -- having seen the stark consequences of his taking up all of Liem's time, he'd attempted to be less demanding and more helpful. But perhaps that had been a mistake. Perhaps his longing cannot be diminished by avoidance, only staved off for a short time, like a dam destined to break. ]
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Impatient though he is to touch his lover, he still succumbs so easily to the indulgent thrill of suffering frustration at his whim. That he is technically free to touch Cardan any time he wishes makes the pleasure of submission no less keen.]
An oversight, surely, [he breathes, glancing at his radiant-looking spouse from beneath lowered lashes. His chest rises and falls readily beneath Cardan’s eager hands.] We’d best make up the difference.
[Only, Liem has no idea for how much longer that will involve Cardan entertaining himself at his expense.]
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Cardan has certainly never managed the same.
Soon, he tells himself. Whether due to the fire or the insistently sped-up beat of his heart, he is thawing out. The hands lazily playing with his husband's nipples are warmer; he's no longer shivering at all. Heat curls in his abdomen, insistent. ]
We have all day, [ he murmurs, not bothering to conceal his breathless infatuation. His gaze lingers on his husband's mouth. Cardan holds his longing like a breath, letting it expand until it becomes a little urgent, until he can no longer stand it. He is addicted to this, too: the relief he feels when he kisses Liem again, when he claims him for his own. ]
Though it won't be enough time.
[ There will never be enough time. He could have several eternities -- he does, at least in theory -- and he would never have touched Liem enough, had him enough. Such a state does not exist. ]
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And even if Liem had disagreed, he could not refuse his husband when he looks at him like that, like he would wither away altogether if he couldn’t touch him.]
It never is.
[He murmurs just a breath away from Cardan’s mouth before returning for another kiss, urgent and tender and insatiable. He can never have enough of the intent, unflagging attention his lover pays him, be it affection, mischief or cruelty. And Cardan is so skilled at inflaming Liem’s desire, distracting him with feral need for his touch. Want aches beneath his skin everywhere his lover has touched: his hungry mouth, his throat, his flushed chest and the teased-taut nipples beneath Cardan’s fingers.
His husband spoils him so religiously with his attention—and Liem cannot say the same. This too feels like an oversight, one he sometimes feels he cannot possibly ignore. He does not think Cardan feels this lack as he does, and still, and still…]
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There is not enough of Liem, either. The barrier of fabric between them is starting to become truly loathsome; given the way arousal has seemed to set his body alight, he could probably pull it off, could probably give them the satisfaction they both want. Except: it seems that spending time around Liem's particular appetites has made Cardan perverse in ways he hasn't quite anticipated -- because he doesn't. For all of his frustrated desire, the fingers that skitter down Liem's sternum are not headed for the fabric at all. Cardan's palm sweeps down to Liem's stomach, and then lower, finding its way between their bodies to wrap warm fingers around the familiar shape of Liem's cock. ]
I want this first, [ he will tell Liem, his impatience making way to indulgence. His mouth curls; his smile is hungry, too. ] The way you look when you come undone.
[ It's so breathtaking; recalling his husband caught by pleasure in times past makes lust pang through him, heavy and insistent. He has to lean in, has to steal another breathless kiss. Cardan is so hypocritically full of longing for him already. ]
Will you give it to me?
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It is obvious enough in the way he meets that breathless kiss.]
As many times as you like.
[A reckless promise; he always wants his husband’s embrace before long, always wants to have his warmth tucked against him and his scent filling his senses. He does not want to remain restrained like this forever, regardless of how addictive he finds being at his husband’s mercy.
Still, how could Liem refuse him? He always, always wants Cardan’s greed. He knows no reason why he should ever cease to want it. He murmurs against the trap of Cardan’s soft, beguiling mouth.]
I can never help but wish to indulge you.
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You are ever, [ he tells Liem, tenderly amused, ] my favourite glutton for punishment.
[ His teeth press against Liem's lip, but even this bite is soft, more caress than nip. He has truly become such a depraved creature under Liem's patient tutelage. The stroke of his fingers is equally languid, unhurried -- even as his own pulse spikes, fluttering with ardent desire. ]
You ought to be careful, husband. You make teasing you so rewarding, and you have wed such an intemperate man.
[ Because Cardan ever wants to push the boundaries of good sense, to see how far their desperation can go until it devours them entirely.
His exhalation is a little shaky. ]
Do you even know how distracting you were in that forest? All wet and terribly fuckable.
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And since there is still very little of his husband he is permitted to touch, his mouth continues to be very busy. He swallows down an impatient noise at the soft sound of Cardan’s warning, clutching at the composure he is ever so loath to relinquish.
He still does not want to give his lover what he wants too easily.]
I have an idea of it.
[Cardan has not been shy about illustrating his desire, and after all, Liem is not the only one who spent the last few hours soaking wet and half undressed. But admittedly, there is no shortage of times he has glanced at Cardan and felt assailed by his charms. This is not a new phenomenon.]
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I do not think you do.
...I thought to be considerate, husband. I wanted to give you time to work, you see, instead of taking up all your mornings with fucking and nonsense.
[ He pauses, and then -- pulls himself away, to lean against the back of the couch. This way, his serious gaze can find Liem's face and look upon him fully. This time, the caress of his hand is no longer teasing; he has tightened his grip, his rhythm slow but inexorable. ]
I see now this was a foolish thing to do.
[ How could he have possibly contained his desire? He has never been particularly restrained, but it turns out that being thus about Liem is a very special kind of madness. The black gaze on Liem's face isn't flirtatious so much as it is consuming. ]
I want your hands on me, Liem. I want to have you-- I want everything.
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He’d thought his husband fatigued, or perhaps even feeling out of sorts after their quarrel in the woods. It had not occurred to Liem that Cardan might deny himself anything for his sake. Without any obvious cause, this prospect sends anxiety worming into him.]
Fucking… and nonsense, [he says breathlessly, resisting the urge to close his eyes against the seduction of Cardan’s hand working him,] are pillars… of our marriage.
[His gaze, though a little distracted, is nonetheless earnest. He slides one hand back up the side of his husband’s throat to cup his jaw, thumb tracing the full curve of his mouth.
He does not want to imagine a marriage where he and Cardan devote themselves only to work. He relies on his husband’s intemperate greed to interrupt the routine demands of his nightly schedule. However inconvenient such interruptions might be, he hungers for that inconvenience like he needs it to live.]
I want to give that to you.
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Nearly. The laughter bubbles out of him, and this is a little unsteady too, his smile tucked against Liem's touch. ]
I shan't commit such folly again.
[ He couldn't, anyway. The idea of restraining himself any longer already feels unbearable. He cannot imagine doing it when Liem is like this, hard and wanting in the palm of his hand, touching him with such tender greed. His lips part, trapping Liem's thumb in the soft, eager heat of his mouth. The blanket between them has long slid down, baring Cardan's chest as it lies crumpled around his hips -- though that's difficult enough as it is.
Then give it to me, he thinks but doesn't say, occupied as he is with the digit in his mouth. But his black gaze on Liem's face is hungry, his touch on Liem's cock increasingly ruthless. At times, he wonders if it's his curse, that his affection is inevitably just a little too greedy, a little too sharp-edged and selfish. But Liem has yet to complain about it, and anyway, Cardan cannot help what he is.
What he is, right this moment, is electrically horny and wildly impatient. ]
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He cannot, because Cardan wanted to see him come undone—and Liem is getting closer with each insistent stroke of his hand. The lewd heat of his husband’s mouth and the intent, greedy stare capturing his gaze only shoulder him headlong down the steep slope of his pleasure, making heat pulse in his gut and his breath come hard in his lungs. His free hand clutches at the back of the couch, before he reconsiders and drags his fingers down Cardan’s chest instead.
He wants this. He wants Cardan’s hungry desperation, he wants his tenderness and his affection, he wants his impatience and his pleasure and his greed and his trust. He wants to share these stolen moments with only him, and stretch them out so they can pretend they might last forever.
But Liem is not going to last forever. He is not going to last much longer at all in his lover’s demanding grasp, and when he finally comes apart, he has to clutch at Cardan’s chest to resist the urge to smother the needy moan that sneaks its way out of him, betraying the extent of his hunger.]
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Oh--
[ He breathes out, pausing to let his heart calm a little, before he slips his grip from Liem's cock to splay over his hip instead. He's distracted about this. His eyes stay on Liem's face, his mouth, the crystalline blue of his eyes. His gaze is serious and a little desperate. ]
It is absurd, how beautiful you are.
[ He could have put it in prettier words, maybe, could have made himself sound less obviously infatuated. But Liem has set every nerve in his body alight with impatience, and now it is a little difficult to concentrate. ]
...sometimes, I fear it will be my undoing.
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He means to say something in reply, but his faculties have not quite returned. Instead, he tips his face to Cardan’s to steal another kiss, and then another, buying himself the time he sorely needs.]
That is fair, and more than fair.
[His palms slide down Cardan’s chest and over his flanks, recalling the restlessness trapped beneath him. The body beneath his touch feels just as feverish as it often does—just as it should.]
You undo me so often.
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Not... mm... as often as I'd like.
[ Over Liem's shoulder, he spies the fireplace, where flames now dance merrily over the neatly piled wood. Even though it doesn't feel like much time has passed at all, even though his hair is still damp, as is Liem's, he can scarcely recall being too cold to touch his husband. Outside, he senses the first blush of sunrise crawling over the horizon, but that's none of his concern right now. When he shivers under the steady transit of Liem's hands over his body, it has nothing to do with cold. ]
I want you, [ he murmurs, shifting to smear restless kisses against Liem's throat, his shoulder. His hands find Liem's thighs, urging him to move up onto his knees, so that Cardan can get rid of the bothersome barrier of fabric between them. He needs to be bare against his husband -- he needs it so badly it feels like a whole-body ache. ]
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He still cannot fathom that this is his—that Cardan is his. The bubble of his impossible good fortune must surely burst at some point, but until it does, he cannot help but throw himself headlong down whatever path keeps him right here, in Cardan’s arms.]
Take what you want, Cardan.
[He smiles, tipping his head to accommodate the restless kisses wandering his throat. At the urging of Cardan’s hands, he shifts up onto his knees, wandering fingers already sliding further down his lover’s body to part the rumpled layers of blanket gathered around his waist. Even after his own climax, he remains eager for Cardan’s pleasure.
He has yet to discover a limit to this particular desire.]