[ His relief sighs out of him. Here, like this, with Liem leaning against him, the terror of this morning finally retreats, grows pale and insubstantial. He relishes the weight of Liem's head against his shoulder, the solidity of him. And he marvels, too, at the easy trust of it -- of the way his husband permits himself to be handled. ]
You smell like home, [ he tells Liem, because he's drunk, and because Liem's hair is tickling his chin, and because his chest is tight with savage affection for this man he has come so close to losing. The bottle slips from his fingers with a dull thud, spilling its chartreuse contents on the floor -- not that there is much left. Not that Cardan cares. He is busy wrapping his freed arm around Liem, pulling him insistently closer. He won't tell Liem of his fears -- he can't, it would only be pathetic -- but surely he is permitted to revel in his closeness a while longer. ]
Why a bath? [ he asks. He wants to keep talking, and he doesn't take his husband for a man who would have picked this activity without specific intent. His fingers stroke up the slender column of Liem's throat, up to the line of his jaw -- light, idle caresses. He seems to have forgotten about his intent to rid Liem of his clothing. ]
[By now Liem should be used to being a fixture of home to Cardan. The Talbott estate has evidently been a refuge from the unhappiness that drove Cardan to accept their marriage in the first place; it affords him both freedom and luxury, despite his habit of haunting Liem’s working hours and involving himself in tedious business. It should be no surprise that it is more a home to Cardan than the strange, crooked house in Elfhame’s woods.
Still, Liem cannot deny the happy little glow that warms his chest as Cardan relaxes around him, pulling him close. He wanted to erase the restless tension gripping Cardan; wanted to make him forget about the events of the morning and once more find the ease that Liem was so used to him wearing. He is so glad to be wrapped in Cardan’s comfortable embrace again, even if the ease that has found his husband was born at the bottom of two separate bottles of liquor.
It matters little. He will accept the help readily.]
I want to attend you again.
[He doesn’t know that he can explain himself better than this. He wants an excuse to put his hands and his mouth on his husband for a while, without Cardan feeling the need to take matters into his own hands. And he thought that the time it took to fill would give Cardan an opportunity to finish his quest for intoxication.
Instead, Liem tips his head enough to press a kiss to his husband’s jaw.]
You seemed to enjoy it well enough last time—unless you were just too worn out to complain.
[ He has to laugh -- and that, too, feels easier, less forced now. ]
You could never, husband, [ he will admonish, grinning, ] wear me out enough to stop my complaining. Valiant though your effort was.
[ Well, Cardan's effort, really -- but Liem had certainly precipitated it by being difficult to exhaust. ]
I enjoyed it.
[ He'd gotten used to having no attendants in his bath -- first, because he'd hated being scrubbed down like an unruly puppy and because it made it easier to hide the aftermath of Balekin's beatings. After his marriage, it had been a way to avoid being vulnerable and alone with attendants he did not know. Lately, though, he has relished the opportunity to bathe with his husband, or, occasionally, to help him wash his hair and shave, as he tends to do most evenings in Faerie. But never, besides that first, hazy time mired in exhaustion — and the second likewise instance, in the little cabin in the Talbott estate woods — has Liem bathed him. ]
But I don’t remember it well. So you ought to refresh my memory just as well.
[ And it seems like the bath is about filled up. Cardan will lean around Liem to stick his hand below the surface, wiggling his fingers to test the temperature. When he straightens out again to look at Liem, the expression on his face is mildly despairing. ]
You are still far too dressed.
[ Nevermind that this was Cardan’s job, and that he had been distracted from it almost immediately. ]
[Cardan’s reprimand only makes Liem smile, tickled as he always is by his husband’s impatience. It is the swiftness with which Cardan goes from having his demands indulged to changing his desires and being frustrated that Liem has failed to read his mind. Liem cannot be anything but charmed.]
You’re right. I must remedy this at once.
[He cannot leave his husband waiting, after all. Finding the buttons where Cardan left off, Liem sets about undoing the rest of his shirt, already tugging it free of his trousers so he can shrug free of his layers at the first opportunity. Still, his eyes linger with hungry affection on his lover.]
I would never wish to rob you of the readiness to voice your frustrations, husband. It is only one of your many charming qualities.
[Who could fail to be beguiled by the bad grace with which Cardan weathers minor dissatisfaction? Certainly not Liem—not now, and not at any time, he suspects. He would blame this on his being hopelessly besotted, except he cannot recall a time when Cardan’s temper failed to charm him, even when they barely knew each other at all.]
[ He shifts to brace himself against the edge of the tub, watching the labour of Liem’s hands with keen, hungry interest. He is ever enamoured with those capable, efficient hands — and never more than when they do his capricious bidding. ]
You encourage me to such mischief.
[ It has always puzzled him: just how eagerly Liem enables his terrible impulses. He has often assumed that it was only Liem’s small way of rebelling against his so-structured life; still, sometimes he wonders if it isn’t more that Liem simply indulges Cardan, the way one would a spirited pet.
Even a few months ago, he might have found the latter offensive.
But Liem is undressing, and Cardan can’t find it in himself to care about much that isn’t wanting those hands on him, unerringly gentle as they were from the very start. How strange, that a thing which so distressed him should now be something he yearns for. He exhales, a little yearning and a little forlorn in the quiet between them. ]
I would let you do so many things to me, [ he mutters, obliquely, ] so long as you did them with those hands.
[ After a beat, he will add, for completeness’ sake, ] And your mouth. [ That dangerous, serious mouth… ]
[It is surely a sign of Liem’s masochistic tendencies that he consistently receives Cardan’s nonsense with such delight. Cardan habitually disturbs his peace and complicates his plans, but Liem rarely feels such pleasure as when Cardan puts his elegant hands all over his orderly routines. Even now, though his husband has done naught but distract him from undressing and then admonish him for his tardiness, Liem cannot help but feel warmly pleased that Cardan is again acting more like himself.
Even if Liem suspects some melancholy still weighs on him.]
Yours is the only mischief I have cause to enjoy during my nights.
[Liem shrugs off his undone shirt and jacket and lets the fine clothes fall to the floor, forgotten. Resting briefly against the lip of the tub, he is likewise single-minded in quickly unlacing and prying off his boots, tossing them off to one side, away from the bath. Only then does he lean over and press a kiss to his husband’s bare shoulder.
His heart squeezes tight with something soft and fragile.]
It is my cherished privilege to be the only one permitted to help you bathe. Even if I need no excuse to get my hands on you.
[ He is, perhaps, too eager to get his own hands on Liem — but he doesn’t care and sees no reason to pretend otherwise. Let Liem think that the palm sweeping up his flank is merely greedy, that the fingers slipping into his hair are but a product of Cardan’s hunger. There is no hiding the way his heart speeds when Liem’s mouth presses to his shoulder, but that’s fine, it’s fine. Surely his husband thinks nothing of such a reaction. ]
Then why, [ he will ask, not bothering to hide his impatience, ] are they not on me yet?
[ How many times had he surrendered himself to the touch of those gentle, careful hands? Before his marriage, such a thing was foreign to him; even when he was being attended to, it was merely a service being rendered, or perhaps an exchange of favours from eager courtier to the son of the High King. But Liem needs no favours and owes him no debt; when he takes care of Cardan, it seems to be simply because he wants to.
He doesn’t know how to feel about that. Except for right now, when he seems to be fielding a longing so powerful it makes his heart pang against his ribs. ]
Undo my trousers, would you? [ he asks, because the bath seems about ready, and because he’s not willing to take his hands off of Liem just yet. The trousers are loose enough; once the fastenings are dealt with, Cardan can simply step out of them and be bare. ]
[The impatience in Cardan’s question only makes Liem smile, and shift around so he is directly before his husband as he leans forward, placing one steadying hand on Cardan’s flank—and reaching out to cut off the torrent of heated water plunging into the filled tub.]
I have only two hands, husband.
[Lamentably, even Liem must tackle tasks one by one, particularly if he wishes to complete them swiftly. But as soon as the roaring of the water is replaced with sudden quiet, Liem smooths his hands over the warm landscape of Cardan’s back and sides, and obligingly seeks the waistband of his trousers so that he might free his husband from them.
And since he is here, and Cardan’s heartbeat is as lively and impertinent as ever, Liem dips his head to brush his lips over the elegant column of Cardan’s neck. He inhales gently, and his murmur tickles the skin just beneath Cardan’s pointed ear.]
They will be warmer, though, once I have you with me in the water.
[ In the sudden quiet, the ragged little breath he draws at the touch of Liem’s mouth feels extraordinarily loud. Tonight, with his face flushed from drink and his blood thrumming close to his skin, he feels particularly vulnerable to it, shivering even as he clutches Liem close. ]
I don’t care… mm… what temperature they are. [ His trousers have slipped down his hips; it only takes a wriggle to have them slide off of him so that he can press the whole bare column of his body against Liem’s, gleefully proving his point. ] Shouldn’t you know that by now, husband?
[ The secret is not that he doesn’t care: the secret is that he likes it, a little bit. Liem’s cool touch ever feels like a balm and a tease alike, soothing the feverish heat of Cardan’s skin even as it sets all his nerve endings alight with anticipation. Cardan can’t help the way he wants to arch into it — can’t help the way that he tips his chin up, offering more of himself to Liem. Should Liem look at him, however, he will find Cardan’s half-lidded stare somewhat imperious. ]
[Whatever Liem’s intent, Cardan always manages to wake some slumbering impatience in him, so his thoughtful plans end up buried beneath a torrent of desire. He is ever vulnerable to the wanton way his husband presses against him, feverish and hungry and heedless of Liem’s oh-so-deliberate intentions. The eager heat fans his ever-present longing, and as Cardan clutches him close, the gentle caress of Liem’s lips over his throat turns heavy with the weight of his need.
He does not dwell on what might have happened today; still, desperation peeks from some dark corner of his being, and for a long moment he cannot fathom letting Cardan go, even so that they might climb into the bath.
The breath that breaks against Cardan’s skin is a little unsteady.]
You have me, Cardan.
[In every possible way he might want, Liem is his. It is both a promise and a confession, and even when Liem raises his head to meet his lover’s imperious stare, the earnestness of his regard falters not at all.]
Let me tend you.
[He wants Cardan’s mind to be filled with him and only him.]
[ He likes it so much: the way desire makes those cool breaths flutter against his throat, the way it ever seems to catch Liem a little off guard… and the way he stubbornly proceeds anyway, intent on his chosen course. He has to smile into it, and lean in to steal an indulgent kiss from his lover’s mouth, nevermind that it reveals too much of the warm fondness that has taken up residence in his chest. ]
Oh, very well, [ he will purr, once he’s pulled away, sounding like he’s granting his husband a boon rather than submitting himself into Liem’s meticulous care. And, before his own mind about letting go of Liem can change, Cardan will step out of his grasp — so he can climb into the tub, sliding down into the water with an involuntary sigh. The heat of it shivers through him, nearly too warm to be comfortable, but that’s fine — it’s fine.
He rests one wet, princely forearm on the lip of the tub, rings still glistening on his fingers. Though Liem has ever protested Cardan’s false subservience, Cardan has no problem with assuming the mannerisms of a young lord expecting to be serviced within an inch of his life. The smile he directs Liem’s way is considerably more languid than his last one. ]
[Regardless of his intentions, Cardan does a good job of distracting Liem from his plans with the insistent warmth of his kiss. Liem has little choice but to relax into it, his hands splayed comfortably over his husband’s chest as he indulges in the affectionate caress of Cardan’s mouth on his. As ever, it makes something soft and eager flutter against his ribs.
Cardan is not the only one who might be tempted to change his mind about consenting to be parted.
Still, he lets his husband pull away and slide into the heated water. Liem watches him with a warm, hungry regard, even as he reaches down to free himself of the rest of his own clothing. In moments his trousers are unfastened and he strips them off along with his socks; he takes only another moment to peruse the small selection of bottles near the tub’s edge before leaning over his husband.]
Slide forward if you please. I wish to tend to your back and shoulders, but I did promise we would bathe together. I see no reason not to do both at once.
How efficient of you, [ Cardan purrs, though his gaze a little too focused to be as languid as the rest of him is pretending to be. Part of him is tempted to pull Liem down, the way his husband has done more than once, upending him into the bath.
...but he doesn't. After a moment longer spent staring up at Liem, he will sit up out of his recline, moving forward so that his husband has room to get in behind him. He doesn't know why it still makes him nervous, somehow, to have Liem focused on his back; he's not ashamed of the scars, and Liem has never commented on them, regardless. Perhaps it's just that it feels vulnerable to be exposed to someone's gaze without being able to return the favour.
In some ways, that's a thrill. Still, he reaches down to reign in his twitchy tail, stilling it against his own thigh, lest it get pinned in some unfortunate position between them. ]
[For a moment, as Cardan stares up at him, Liem thinks his husband might refuse. He suspects Cardan is indulging him as a means of putting the unhappy events of the morning behind them, and that indulgence will only stretch so far. His husband has never evinced any particular desire to be bathed.
But Cardan gives way after all, tucking his unruly tail out of the way as he does, and Liem is only too happy to slide behind him into the heated water.]
I live to serve, husband.
[He leans forward to plant a kiss at the nape of his lover’s neck, for a moment just breathing him in and wrapping himself around Cardan like a snake around a warm limb. Rarely does he have the opportunity to hug his husband like this from behind, as Cardan is so fond of doing to him. In a way it feels secretive, like he can only express the full warmth of his feelings for Cardan when Cardan cannot see him.
But after a moment he releases his husband, reaching for one of the lotions near the tub so he can coat his wet hands.]
I’m curious; how did your story end, after the prince met with the forest hag? If you finished it, I do not recall the details.
[ It's true: Liem does live to serve, often more so than Cardan would prefer for him to. Though even he cannot find a reason to complain when Liem wraps himself around him. His eyes slide shut; the cool mouth at his nape, now in stark contrast to the heat of the bath, prompts a soft, wanting shiver from him. He still feels exposed, but it is a price worth paying for his husband's pleasure. ]
I didn't, [ he confirms, once Liem retreats and he can trust his voice again. He had spent the last bit of their dream time meandering through the tale, afraid that Liem's wakefulness would outlast it.
It is a happy story; he supposes it is worth finishing. Nonetheless, he will arch back, resting the back of his head on Liem's shoulder -- and nevermind whatever Liem's attempting to do with his hands -- so he can glance up at his husband from the side. ]
[Liem glances down to meet Cardan’s look, one brow raised with curiosity. What Cardan had volunteered freely before, he now puts a price on. Liem might have objected to this sudden change, except that he delights in granting his husband’s requests, and sees no hardship in being granted the opportunity to do so now.
And anyway, he is more interested in getting his hands on Cardan than in haggling with him. When Cardan leans back against him, Liem once again parts his arms to accommodate his husband. Now, however, he slides his lotion-slicked palms up Cardan’s chest, seeking the joins of muscle where chest meets collarbone and shoulder. He leans his cheek companionably against Cardan’s as he kneads tight little circles into bath-warmed muscle.]
I am happy to oblige. What boon would you have of me?
Mm. [ It's an interesting position to be in -- though he is distracted, nigh-immediately, by the transit of Liem's slick touch up his chest. It's worse, somehow, that he can't watch Liem's hands and his face at the same time -- not that he can see much of Liem's face, regardless.
Perhaps it's the combination of drink and the bath's heat, but he finds himself a little breathless already. ]
I wish for an outing, once we return to Ironside. To the woods. I want to meet your wolves again.
[ Under better circumstances, he doesn't say, because he doubts either of them wants to recall the exact events surrounding that first introduction. It's not worth considering now; Cardan pushes the memory from his thoughts, focusing on the touch at his shoulders.
He suspects that Liem's plans for tending to him will test his impatience. It's unfortunate, then, that Cardan already feels desire coil in his belly, tense and eager. He wants those slick hands everywhere, wants Liem's mouth and Liem's touch and Liem's desire. Still, he won't push -- not yet, anyway. Instead, he slides one wet hand up into Liem's hair, and asks, ] What are you doing, husband?
[If anything, Cardan’s request pleases Liem; he recalls enjoying the spectacle of his husband overrun by curious wolflings, and he wonders how Cardan might find the experience now that the pups have had a few months to grow. And at the very least, Liem always enjoys outings to the forest with his husband.
For now, however, he is busy with attempting to occupy Cardan’s thoughts as thoroughly and as pleasantly as possible. The suspicion this seems to earn from his spouse only makes a smile threaten to overtake him as he conducts a deliberate exploration of Cardan’s chest and shoulders.]
It is called a massage, [he explains patiently, pretending that this is the question Cardan asked him.] I thought that since you granted me leave to play bath attendant, I may as well be thorough in executing my duties.
[Not that any bath attendant of his ever climbed into the tub with him, but he didn’t stop being Cardan’s husband or lover when he decided to bathe him. He can do multiple things at once—and he is enjoying himself too much to regret doing things this way.]
I know what a massage is, [ Cardan gripes, though there is not much heat behind his indignation. Liem's evasiveness is suspicious, obviously, but the heat of the bath is getting to him; it is impossible not to melt against Liem just a little, to let his eyes slide shut and sigh into his husband's indulgent touch.
He's not relaxed, however, and he will still complain -- even as he turns his head to brush his mouth over Liem's jaw, incongruously tender. ]
If your plan is to fuck around and drive me insane, you should at least tell me so.
[ Of course, Cardan wouldn't be telling Liem any such thing if their roles were reversed -- but that's neither here nor there. Because, whether he intends it or not, Liem is going to drive Cardan insane. Somehow, his husband's good-natured patience only ever eggs him on; he's already impatient, and Liem has hardly even touched him.
But that's fine. That's the kind of problem Liem seems to enjoy best: the kind that's horny, rude, and demanding of his attention. After the morning they've had, Cardan is only too happy to provide. ]
[The sound of Cardan’s sigh and the weight of his body subsiding just a bit more against him make a mix of satisfaction and relief bloom in Liem’s chest. Coaxing ease from his husband always makes Liem feel helplessly happy; he never expected to earn his trust, and every time Cardan allows him free rein with his person, Liem feels like he has ended up in possession of some treasure that was never meant for him.
He slides his hands around to knead Cardan’s shoulders from another angle, methodical and firm and yet stubbornly gentle. His thumbs carve twin paths along his shoulders and up the back of his neck, sneaking between their bodies even as his husband is leaning against him.]
My plan, [he says, tipping his head slightly at the warm brush of Cardan’s mouth against his jaw,] is to explore thoroughly more ways by which my hands might bring you pleasure. If that drives you insane, it will be incidental to my main goal.
[He’s just intending to spend a while getting his hands all over his husband. If Cardan goes insane because of it, that’s his business.]
Lean forward, husband, [he suggests,] and I shall apply my efforts to more of you.
[ Despite himself, he can't help the soft sound of pleasure that escapes him when Liem's slick thumbs work their way up his shoulders, his neck. Liem is right to choose this way of driving him up the wall: he is ever vulnerable to the strength and control in those capable, elegant hands.
Still, he flops a little more, flinging his arms over the sides of the tub in demonstrative dejection. ]
How shamelessly my husband lies to my very face.
[ The sigh is equally dramatic. ]
Unfortunately, it is terribly attractive.
[ And so he has no choice but to do as he's bid -- although not before stretching up to kiss Liem's cheek. Only then does Cardan deign to sit up and lean forward, bracing his elbows over his knees. ]
[It’s all right that Cardan doesn’t believe Liem when he says he isn’t trying to drive him insane. Liem truly would be happy if he managed to make his husband bonelessly relaxed instead, but he has always found Cardan’s frustration irresistible, and he certainly isn’t dissuaded from his course by his husband’s agitation.
Besides, Cardan wears it so delightfully. How is Liem meant to resist his lazy kiss or his exaggerated, put-on melancholy? His husband could earn whatever favours he liked with a performance like this one, and never mind that Liem isn’t fooled for a second. He is too enamoured with indulging his husband’s whims for that to matter even a little. ]
I could never lie about wanting my hands on you. That is my permanent state of being.
[Those hands continue to rub tight little circles up from the base of Cardan’s neck, not yet delving lower towards lash-scarred skin. He is still hungry for more of his husband’s earnest sighs rather than his pretend ones.]
You are so delightfully warm. And… I cannot resist what you so obviously enjoy.
[ Cardan's laugh is surprised, despite that Liem has not told him anything that should be news. ]
I feel feverish, when I'm with you.
[ Perhaps he is. Perhaps he has adjusted to the cold winter of Ironside and his husband's cool touch by running warmer than before. The thought is oddly pleasing -- to belong with someone so thoroughly that even one's physiology might follow suit. He likes it perhaps a little too much.
Still, he also cannot help feeling restless without the ability to touch Liem in return. It is in service of such that he runs light fingers over the inside of his husband's thigh under the water, tracing bath-warmed skin. It is ever strange to have Liem be warm -- it makes him long to lean against him again, to feel him fully against his back.
Unfortunately, he is also vulnerable to Liem's whims at times like these. If this is what he wishes to spend his time with, if this is what will soothe him after his hours in the twilight of his dream, then how can Cardan do anything but let him?
He inhales, trying to gather his thoughts, scattered as they have been by liquor and his husband's touch. He had, after all, promised Liem: ]
Please do, [Liem invites. He ever loves hearing his husband speak about new and unfamiliar things, and a story he hasn’t heard before certainly falls into this category. He is eager to hear its conclusion, told in Cardan’s familiar cadence.
And he doesn’t mind at all if his husband lets his touch linger on his thigh as he speaks. The shivery pleasure of fingers skimming there poses a distraction he is happy to weather. If it makes him wish that they were touching in other ways as well, then—there is time for that yet. He has much practice cultivating the pleasure of anticipation.
Despite the caress dividing his attention, Liem addresses his wandering hands to the task of working down either side of Cardan’s spine, making slow and methodical progress as he listens to his husband. He is attentive as well to the feel and tension of him beneath his hands, lest his explorations lead him somewhere Cardan finds uncomfortable.]
[ He is ever sensitive, unable to help his little shiver as Liem's hands make their way down. It's worse for not being able to see Liem, of course -- worse in the sense of being more unpredictable, and thus difficult to hide the pleasure that sighs out of him whenever Liem's fingers hit on a particularly tense spot. He leans his forehead against his forearm, but his other hand stays in the vicinity of Liem's knee, thumb stroking idly along its inside. It feels oddly comforting, to have at least a part of him subject to Cardan's touch.
And he tells the tale, doing his best to keep his voice even, though there are inevitable stutters, here and there, when Liem's touch distracts his breath into hitching. He tells his husband how the prince followed the magic thread to the evil witch's lair; how he found his beloved; and how he faced down the villain. ]
...and he fought her valiantly, and with much skill -- for he'd had the best instructors in the land, and had heeded their lessons well... for lack of other, more interesting hobbies.
But, as you might recall, the witch's death had been hidden away, and so none of the prince's blows would strike her heart, no matter how true.
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You smell like home, [ he tells Liem, because he's drunk, and because Liem's hair is tickling his chin, and because his chest is tight with savage affection for this man he has come so close to losing. The bottle slips from his fingers with a dull thud, spilling its chartreuse contents on the floor -- not that there is much left. Not that Cardan cares. He is busy wrapping his freed arm around Liem, pulling him insistently closer. He won't tell Liem of his fears -- he can't, it would only be pathetic -- but surely he is permitted to revel in his closeness a while longer. ]
Why a bath? [ he asks. He wants to keep talking, and he doesn't take his husband for a man who would have picked this activity without specific intent. His fingers stroke up the slender column of Liem's throat, up to the line of his jaw -- light, idle caresses. He seems to have forgotten about his intent to rid Liem of his clothing. ]
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Still, Liem cannot deny the happy little glow that warms his chest as Cardan relaxes around him, pulling him close. He wanted to erase the restless tension gripping Cardan; wanted to make him forget about the events of the morning and once more find the ease that Liem was so used to him wearing. He is so glad to be wrapped in Cardan’s comfortable embrace again, even if the ease that has found his husband was born at the bottom of two separate bottles of liquor.
It matters little. He will accept the help readily.]
I want to attend you again.
[He doesn’t know that he can explain himself better than this. He wants an excuse to put his hands and his mouth on his husband for a while, without Cardan feeling the need to take matters into his own hands. And he thought that the time it took to fill would give Cardan an opportunity to finish his quest for intoxication.
Instead, Liem tips his head enough to press a kiss to his husband’s jaw.]
You seemed to enjoy it well enough last time—unless you were just too worn out to complain.
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You could never, husband, [ he will admonish, grinning, ] wear me out enough to stop my complaining. Valiant though your effort was.
[ Well, Cardan's effort, really -- but Liem had certainly precipitated it by being difficult to exhaust. ]
I enjoyed it.
[ He'd gotten used to having no attendants in his bath -- first, because he'd hated being scrubbed down like an unruly puppy and because it made it easier to hide the aftermath of Balekin's beatings. After his marriage, it had been a way to avoid being vulnerable and alone with attendants he did not know. Lately, though, he has relished the opportunity to bathe with his husband, or, occasionally, to help him wash his hair and shave, as he tends to do most evenings in Faerie. But never, besides that first, hazy time mired in exhaustion — and the second likewise instance, in the little cabin in the Talbott estate woods — has Liem bathed him. ]
But I don’t remember it well. So you ought to refresh my memory just as well.
[ And it seems like the bath is about filled up. Cardan will lean around Liem to stick his hand below the surface, wiggling his fingers to test the temperature. When he straightens out again to look at Liem, the expression on his face is mildly despairing. ]
You are still far too dressed.
[ Nevermind that this was Cardan’s job, and that he had been distracted from it almost immediately. ]
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You’re right. I must remedy this at once.
[He cannot leave his husband waiting, after all. Finding the buttons where Cardan left off, Liem sets about undoing the rest of his shirt, already tugging it free of his trousers so he can shrug free of his layers at the first opportunity. Still, his eyes linger with hungry affection on his lover.]
I would never wish to rob you of the readiness to voice your frustrations, husband. It is only one of your many charming qualities.
[Who could fail to be beguiled by the bad grace with which Cardan weathers minor dissatisfaction? Certainly not Liem—not now, and not at any time, he suspects. He would blame this on his being hopelessly besotted, except he cannot recall a time when Cardan’s temper failed to charm him, even when they barely knew each other at all.]
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You encourage me to such mischief.
[ It has always puzzled him: just how eagerly Liem enables his terrible impulses. He has often assumed that it was only Liem’s small way of rebelling against his so-structured life; still, sometimes he wonders if it isn’t more that Liem simply indulges Cardan, the way one would a spirited pet.
Even a few months ago, he might have found the latter offensive.
But Liem is undressing, and Cardan can’t find it in himself to care about much that isn’t wanting those hands on him, unerringly gentle as they were from the very start. How strange, that a thing which so distressed him should now be something he yearns for. He exhales, a little yearning and a little forlorn in the quiet between them. ]
I would let you do so many things to me, [ he mutters, obliquely, ] so long as you did them with those hands.
[ After a beat, he will add, for completeness’ sake, ] And your mouth. [ That dangerous, serious mouth… ]
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Even if Liem suspects some melancholy still weighs on him.]
Yours is the only mischief I have cause to enjoy during my nights.
[Liem shrugs off his undone shirt and jacket and lets the fine clothes fall to the floor, forgotten. Resting briefly against the lip of the tub, he is likewise single-minded in quickly unlacing and prying off his boots, tossing them off to one side, away from the bath. Only then does he lean over and press a kiss to his husband’s bare shoulder.
His heart squeezes tight with something soft and fragile.]
It is my cherished privilege to be the only one permitted to help you bathe. Even if I need no excuse to get my hands on you.
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Then why, [ he will ask, not bothering to hide his impatience, ] are they not on me yet?
[ How many times had he surrendered himself to the touch of those gentle, careful hands? Before his marriage, such a thing was foreign to him; even when he was being attended to, it was merely a service being rendered, or perhaps an exchange of favours from eager courtier to the son of the High King. But Liem needs no favours and owes him no debt; when he takes care of Cardan, it seems to be simply because he wants to.
He doesn’t know how to feel about that. Except for right now, when he seems to be fielding a longing so powerful it makes his heart pang against his ribs. ]
Undo my trousers, would you? [ he asks, because the bath seems about ready, and because he’s not willing to take his hands off of Liem just yet. The trousers are loose enough; once the fastenings are dealt with, Cardan can simply step out of them and be bare. ]
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I have only two hands, husband.
[Lamentably, even Liem must tackle tasks one by one, particularly if he wishes to complete them swiftly. But as soon as the roaring of the water is replaced with sudden quiet, Liem smooths his hands over the warm landscape of Cardan’s back and sides, and obligingly seeks the waistband of his trousers so that he might free his husband from them.
And since he is here, and Cardan’s heartbeat is as lively and impertinent as ever, Liem dips his head to brush his lips over the elegant column of Cardan’s neck. He inhales gently, and his murmur tickles the skin just beneath Cardan’s pointed ear.]
They will be warmer, though, once I have you with me in the water.
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I don’t care… mm… what temperature they are. [ His trousers have slipped down his hips; it only takes a wriggle to have them slide off of him so that he can press the whole bare column of his body against Liem’s, gleefully proving his point. ] Shouldn’t you know that by now, husband?
[ The secret is not that he doesn’t care: the secret is that he likes it, a little bit. Liem’s cool touch ever feels like a balm and a tease alike, soothing the feverish heat of Cardan’s skin even as it sets all his nerve endings alight with anticipation. Cardan can’t help the way he wants to arch into it — can’t help the way that he tips his chin up, offering more of himself to Liem. Should Liem look at him, however, he will find Cardan’s half-lidded stare somewhat imperious. ]
I told you: I am hungry for you.
I do not know another way to be.
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He does not dwell on what might have happened today; still, desperation peeks from some dark corner of his being, and for a long moment he cannot fathom letting Cardan go, even so that they might climb into the bath.
The breath that breaks against Cardan’s skin is a little unsteady.]
You have me, Cardan.
[In every possible way he might want, Liem is his. It is both a promise and a confession, and even when Liem raises his head to meet his lover’s imperious stare, the earnestness of his regard falters not at all.]
Let me tend you.
[He wants Cardan’s mind to be filled with him and only him.]
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Oh, very well, [ he will purr, once he’s pulled away, sounding like he’s granting his husband a boon rather than submitting himself into Liem’s meticulous care. And, before his own mind about letting go of Liem can change, Cardan will step out of his grasp — so he can climb into the tub, sliding down into the water with an involuntary sigh. The heat of it shivers through him, nearly too warm to be comfortable, but that’s fine — it’s fine.
He rests one wet, princely forearm on the lip of the tub, rings still glistening on his fingers. Though Liem has ever protested Cardan’s false subservience, Cardan has no problem with assuming the mannerisms of a young lord expecting to be serviced within an inch of his life. The smile he directs Liem’s way is considerably more languid than his last one. ]
And what are your plans for me, husband?
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Cardan is not the only one who might be tempted to change his mind about consenting to be parted.
Still, he lets his husband pull away and slide into the heated water. Liem watches him with a warm, hungry regard, even as he reaches down to free himself of the rest of his own clothing. In moments his trousers are unfastened and he strips them off along with his socks; he takes only another moment to peruse the small selection of bottles near the tub’s edge before leaning over his husband.]
Slide forward if you please. I wish to tend to your back and shoulders, but I did promise we would bathe together. I see no reason not to do both at once.
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...but he doesn't. After a moment longer spent staring up at Liem, he will sit up out of his recline, moving forward so that his husband has room to get in behind him. He doesn't know why it still makes him nervous, somehow, to have Liem focused on his back; he's not ashamed of the scars, and Liem has never commented on them, regardless. Perhaps it's just that it feels vulnerable to be exposed to someone's gaze without being able to return the favour.
In some ways, that's a thrill. Still, he reaches down to reign in his twitchy tail, stilling it against his own thigh, lest it get pinned in some unfortunate position between them. ]
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But Cardan gives way after all, tucking his unruly tail out of the way as he does, and Liem is only too happy to slide behind him into the heated water.]
I live to serve, husband.
[He leans forward to plant a kiss at the nape of his lover’s neck, for a moment just breathing him in and wrapping himself around Cardan like a snake around a warm limb. Rarely does he have the opportunity to hug his husband like this from behind, as Cardan is so fond of doing to him. In a way it feels secretive, like he can only express the full warmth of his feelings for Cardan when Cardan cannot see him.
But after a moment he releases his husband, reaching for one of the lotions near the tub so he can coat his wet hands.]
I’m curious; how did your story end, after the prince met with the forest hag? If you finished it, I do not recall the details.
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I didn't, [ he confirms, once Liem retreats and he can trust his voice again. He had spent the last bit of their dream time meandering through the tale, afraid that Liem's wakefulness would outlast it.
It is a happy story; he supposes it is worth finishing. Nonetheless, he will arch back, resting the back of his head on Liem's shoulder -- and nevermind whatever Liem's attempting to do with his hands -- so he can glance up at his husband from the side. ]
I shall tell you, husband, in return for a boon.
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[Liem glances down to meet Cardan’s look, one brow raised with curiosity. What Cardan had volunteered freely before, he now puts a price on. Liem might have objected to this sudden change, except that he delights in granting his husband’s requests, and sees no hardship in being granted the opportunity to do so now.
And anyway, he is more interested in getting his hands on Cardan than in haggling with him. When Cardan leans back against him, Liem once again parts his arms to accommodate his husband. Now, however, he slides his lotion-slicked palms up Cardan’s chest, seeking the joins of muscle where chest meets collarbone and shoulder. He leans his cheek companionably against Cardan’s as he kneads tight little circles into bath-warmed muscle.]
I am happy to oblige. What boon would you have of me?
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Perhaps it's the combination of drink and the bath's heat, but he finds himself a little breathless already. ]
I wish for an outing, once we return to Ironside. To the woods. I want to meet your wolves again.
[ Under better circumstances, he doesn't say, because he doubts either of them wants to recall the exact events surrounding that first introduction. It's not worth considering now; Cardan pushes the memory from his thoughts, focusing on the touch at his shoulders.
He suspects that Liem's plans for tending to him will test his impatience. It's unfortunate, then, that Cardan already feels desire coil in his belly, tense and eager. He wants those slick hands everywhere, wants Liem's mouth and Liem's touch and Liem's desire. Still, he won't push -- not yet, anyway. Instead, he slides one wet hand up into Liem's hair, and asks, ] What are you doing, husband?
[ What are you scheming, is what he means. ]
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[If anything, Cardan’s request pleases Liem; he recalls enjoying the spectacle of his husband overrun by curious wolflings, and he wonders how Cardan might find the experience now that the pups have had a few months to grow. And at the very least, Liem always enjoys outings to the forest with his husband.
For now, however, he is busy with attempting to occupy Cardan’s thoughts as thoroughly and as pleasantly as possible. The suspicion this seems to earn from his spouse only makes a smile threaten to overtake him as he conducts a deliberate exploration of Cardan’s chest and shoulders.]
It is called a massage, [he explains patiently, pretending that this is the question Cardan asked him.] I thought that since you granted me leave to play bath attendant, I may as well be thorough in executing my duties.
[Not that any bath attendant of his ever climbed into the tub with him, but he didn’t stop being Cardan’s husband or lover when he decided to bathe him. He can do multiple things at once—and he is enjoying himself too much to regret doing things this way.]
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He's not relaxed, however, and he will still complain -- even as he turns his head to brush his mouth over Liem's jaw, incongruously tender. ]
If your plan is to fuck around and drive me insane, you should at least tell me so.
[ Of course, Cardan wouldn't be telling Liem any such thing if their roles were reversed -- but that's neither here nor there. Because, whether he intends it or not, Liem is going to drive Cardan insane. Somehow, his husband's good-natured patience only ever eggs him on; he's already impatient, and Liem has hardly even touched him.
But that's fine. That's the kind of problem Liem seems to enjoy best: the kind that's horny, rude, and demanding of his attention. After the morning they've had, Cardan is only too happy to provide. ]
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He slides his hands around to knead Cardan’s shoulders from another angle, methodical and firm and yet stubbornly gentle. His thumbs carve twin paths along his shoulders and up the back of his neck, sneaking between their bodies even as his husband is leaning against him.]
My plan, [he says, tipping his head slightly at the warm brush of Cardan’s mouth against his jaw,] is to explore thoroughly more ways by which my hands might bring you pleasure. If that drives you insane, it will be incidental to my main goal.
[He’s just intending to spend a while getting his hands all over his husband. If Cardan goes insane because of it, that’s his business.]
Lean forward, husband, [he suggests,] and I shall apply my efforts to more of you.
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Still, he flops a little more, flinging his arms over the sides of the tub in demonstrative dejection. ]
How shamelessly my husband lies to my very face.
[ The sigh is equally dramatic. ]
Unfortunately, it is terribly attractive.
[ And so he has no choice but to do as he's bid -- although not before stretching up to kiss Liem's cheek. Only then does Cardan deign to sit up and lean forward, bracing his elbows over his knees. ]
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Besides, Cardan wears it so delightfully. How is Liem meant to resist his lazy kiss or his exaggerated, put-on melancholy? His husband could earn whatever favours he liked with a performance like this one, and never mind that Liem isn’t fooled for a second. He is too enamoured with indulging his husband’s whims for that to matter even a little. ]
I could never lie about wanting my hands on you. That is my permanent state of being.
[Those hands continue to rub tight little circles up from the base of Cardan’s neck, not yet delving lower towards lash-scarred skin. He is still hungry for more of his husband’s earnest sighs rather than his pretend ones.]
You are so delightfully warm. And… I cannot resist what you so obviously enjoy.
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I feel feverish, when I'm with you.
[ Perhaps he is. Perhaps he has adjusted to the cold winter of Ironside and his husband's cool touch by running warmer than before. The thought is oddly pleasing -- to belong with someone so thoroughly that even one's physiology might follow suit. He likes it perhaps a little too much.
Still, he also cannot help feeling restless without the ability to touch Liem in return. It is in service of such that he runs light fingers over the inside of his husband's thigh under the water, tracing bath-warmed skin. It is ever strange to have Liem be warm -- it makes him long to lean against him again, to feel him fully against his back.
Unfortunately, he is also vulnerable to Liem's whims at times like these. If this is what he wishes to spend his time with, if this is what will soothe him after his hours in the twilight of his dream, then how can Cardan do anything but let him?
He inhales, trying to gather his thoughts, scattered as they have been by liquor and his husband's touch. He had, after all, promised Liem: ]
The story, then. Shall I?
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And he doesn’t mind at all if his husband lets his touch linger on his thigh as he speaks. The shivery pleasure of fingers skimming there poses a distraction he is happy to weather. If it makes him wish that they were touching in other ways as well, then—there is time for that yet. He has much practice cultivating the pleasure of anticipation.
Despite the caress dividing his attention, Liem addresses his wandering hands to the task of working down either side of Cardan’s spine, making slow and methodical progress as he listens to his husband. He is attentive as well to the feel and tension of him beneath his hands, lest his explorations lead him somewhere Cardan finds uncomfortable.]
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And he tells the tale, doing his best to keep his voice even, though there are inevitable stutters, here and there, when Liem's touch distracts his breath into hitching. He tells his husband how the prince followed the magic thread to the evil witch's lair; how he found his beloved; and how he faced down the villain. ]
...and he fought her valiantly, and with much skill -- for he'd had the best instructors in the land, and had heeded their lessons well... for lack of other, more interesting hobbies.
But, as you might recall, the witch's death had been hidden away, and so none of the prince's blows would strike her heart, no matter how true.
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