[When Liem answers the phone early in the evening on the first day of the month’s usual transformations, he might be expecting Konoha’s usual energetic greeting, or maybe even a shy invitation or request, like when she had called as her spring heat set in.
But it’s not that.
There’s a low, unidentifiable sound, a wet hiccup and a crunch, and then finally, muffled yet raw,]
[As soon as she says she’s at home, Liem starts heading out the door. He’s already at the threshold by the time he realizes what she’s said.]
When I was cursed? [he echoes.
He pauses, wondering if he should bring his gem-bindings as well. They hadn’t erased his hunger, but they had made it somewhat more possible to resist, at least for a time. But… would Konoha even want to wear them?
[When he was cursed. Maybe she should elaborate, be more clear she meant that night when she’d come upon him in the woods and barely escaped manna-drained and bleeding from the neck, but-]
Okay… okay…
[Words seem hard. Would she wear bindings, would she be comfortable with such a thing after what her race had gone through? She doesn’t think to ask him to bring them, but-
There’s another crunch that sounds… a bit suspiciously like bone.]
[He decides to grab the bindings just in case; it only takes a few moments to go upstairs and retrieve them. He keeps his phone at his ear, not wanting to hang up on Konoha when she sounds so distressed, and she’s treated to the sound of a short invocation as he makes his way out the door, out onto the street: a plea for swiftness. He arrows down the street for the nearest flashpoint, streaking through the dusk with unnatural speed.
It occurs to him, as he careens into the booth and very nearly splats against its inner wall, that Konoha could be luring him intentionally into her clutches. From the memories he still retains of his transformations, his curse hadn’t robbed him of his wits; it had merely squashed his morals. If he hadn’t been so eager to hunt, he might have used his phone to get his prey to come to him.
But he doesn’t think Konoha is capable of such convincing deception. And in any case, whether or not she might turn on him, he can’t simply leave her to her own devices.]
I’ll be there soon, Konoha. Just wait for me.
[The flashpoint whisks him away from his own neighbourhood, bringing him to the city outskirts. Liem puts his phone away, shouldering his way out of the booth as he does. There is a brief green glow, and his tailored clothes warp and melt away, replaced with brown-and-grey fur.
A lean, long-legged wolf races down the dirt road toward Konoha’s home.]
[She believes him. She does believe him. She does appreciate that he doesn't hang up, because even if it's just overhearing him breathe, the sound mingling with her own harsh panting sounds... It's comforting to hear his spell, him moving... and before he hangs up, she manages an answer through the soft sounds of tears, wet, and the occasional rip, tear, break.]
I'm waiting... I'll wait...
[The "thank you" gets stuck in her craw, or maybe that's just a little gag on the heat of the blood in her mouth and on her tongue that isn't doing anything to soothe the cravings that have only grown more intense since she woke in this twisted form. In the silence that follows she clutches the phone against her forehead, in between the painful places where antlers had burst from skull and skin, but by the time the scent of wolf spikes in the wind, the sign of an intruder in her territory, conjuring up images and fears and a strange, new desire to fight, to defend, to ambush...
When Liem arrives, the barn door is half-open. The phone screen glints beside the mauled corpse of a chicken that looks bitten and ripped apart in the roots of the large linden tree in the yard, the trunk marred with what looks like claw marks... and from above, just hidden in the heavy leaf of the thick lower branches... two eyes glow red.]
[Liem arrives at Konoha’s farm skidding in the dirt and panting hard, a blueish-grey tongue lolling from his long, canine jaws. The scent of blood in the air causes his hackles to bristle, but he can tell from only a single lungful that it’s poultry blood rather than Konoha’s. Her scent is all over, marking her territory clearly despite the apparent emptiness of the property. Not wanting to alarm her further, he stills in his tracks and shifts back into the form of a furry-eared, wolf-tailed man. Only then does he take another step towards the barn.]
Konoha? It’s me.
[He calls out quietly, scanning the surroundings for signs of movement. The ajar barn door yawns ominously at the end of the path, but he resists the urge to race headlong over to it. Following the scattering of feathers to the sight of her discarded phone lying under the linden tree, he slides his gaze around and then up, into the thick greenery of the tree’s branches.]
[Wolves are the enemy, bringers of fear, something to be driven off any land she called her own. And this- This was her home, her territory... and when not Liem, but a wolf arrives in his place... a hiss so low it was barely audible escapes bloody lips, she skitters closers to the linden's trunk, claws that have replaced her nails digging in to the bark.
The wolf becomes a man, something, something like recognition returns... But not fast enough. Eyes gone crimson in the dark have focused instead on fur, ears, and more primal... scent. She'd resisted a long time, all day, even part of this day, but ever since she'd given in and tried to feed, gotten a taste... She only has seconds before she loses the advantage of surprise, and her now slightly-too-long, strangely joined limbs shuffle, muscles bunch powerfully-
And she leaps down towards him with an inhuman snarl, sharp teeth bared and aiming for his throat, claws he might know better than most to try and avoid aiming for his flesh.]
[Even before Konoha leaps, Liem can tell that something is there in the linden tree’s branches, moving behind the screen of new spring leaves, claws digging ito the bark. His soft, brown-furred ears swivel toward it as he stares at the hint of motion. He has a very brief moment to think that he hadn’t expected her to be able to climb trees.
Then she explodes from the branches with claws outstretched, and Liem moves on instinct, pouncing forward to duck beneath the grasp of her claws and past her toward the tree’s sturdy trunk.]
Konoha, wait!
[He grips the bark with one clawed hand and uses it to whirl around without interrupting his momentum, now skirting backwards away from her. With a shock he realizes that her transformation has altered her body far more than it had his own, robbing her of her equine half and replacing it with a single pair of long, cloven-hooved legs. Somehow this change is infinitely more disturbing than the bipedal appearance of her dryad form.]
[It is infinitely more disturbing. She had been horrified to wake up in a form that, in some ways... looked like a sick mistake, as if she had found herself tragically stuck transforming between the more humanoid dryad shape and her natural centaurine one. Her fingers and arms are warped, nails have become poisonous claws, but Liem dodges away and they dig in to grass and root, not flesh. Her legs are still covered in dark bay coat, still curved in mimicry of fetlock and backward knee and hock, but the hooves that hit the ground next, propel her to twist back around to face the whirling inquisitor, are cracked and cloven.
And much like a man she had met once, in the dark of the night fleeing a different cursed Gembonded... her lips are smeared with blood, despite lack of injury that would explain it away, sharp fangs bared by a snarl-- an expression that, more than anything... perhaps looks the most unnatural at all, situated below a heavy rack of stained antlers tangled with leaves and branches from the linden and wild strands of her ink black hair.
But the expression falters, at the clearer sound of his voice. Her eyes dull from their crimson glow, her brow furrows, throat trembling with a swallow that threatens to become a gag as she seems to be fighting through herself, the wechuge, something-]
Liem... ?
[Why did he look- She hated it, he looks so warm and full of manna and so gods damned delicious-]
[When Konoha pauses in her predatory rush, her snarl melting into horror-touched recognition, Liem dares to hope that he might still be able to help her. His own cursed transformations had been unbearable; he had lived those days dreading the coming of night, and suffered nightmares of his hunts for weeks afterwards. He hopes with acute urgency that she won't need to suffer even close to what he did.]
That's right. I got here as quickly as I could.
[Even on two legs she still towers over him, her form seeming to have wasted away into something long and lean without losing a single inch in height. He recalls dimly that he'd actually grown taller during his own cursed nights—but he's not cursed now, and in his most human-like wolf's form he isn't any larger than usual at all. Most of the form's agility and power are locked away while he's like this, but he doesn't want to frighten Konoha by wearing a more bestial shape just now.
He hazards a step closer, his short, tidy boots crunching gently on the dirt around the tree's roots. Slowly, watching Konoha for signs of any sudden movement, he reaches a hand toward her.]
[Without the influence of Cairngorm, perhaps this form, even accursed as it still was, might be a little weaker. Perhaps there was a chance that she might retain her sanity, that she wouldn't cave in to the intense, throbbing desire to cover him, to pin him to the ground beneath her body and help herself to each hot gush of blood that might spill from his throat and bring her such pleasure-
She swallows again, pupils harshly blown out in the gathering evening light as her gaze darts frantically between Liem and the bloodied chicken corpse near his feet, her tongue sliding out to lap it from her lips and be reminded... it wasn't good enough. Someone with manna would be so much better, surely it would sate...
Her claws dig furrows into the earth and catch on thick linden roots in the earth, an attempt to try and neutralize herself without risking further movement that might turn into a leap and a slash, lip twisting and brow furrowing worse as tears of horror spring to her eyes, blurring his shape as he comes closer, close enough to reach out and touch her-]
Liem, I'm scared-
[Scared of this shape that felt so wrong, but more importantly-]
I'm going to- I'm going to bite you, and I don't want-
[What was it she'd meant... There was something she meant to ask him, something she thought only Liem could answer, and she remembered picking up the phone, but then the chicken had crossed her field of vision and-
Her voice breaks, remembering what it was, a wet, crimson gurgle in the back of her throat.]
I don't want to think blood tastes good...
[How he resists the urge. That's what... That's what she'd been planning to ask.]
[Konoha's fear slows his gesture to a crawl, caution making him reach for her as though through thick sap set nearly solid. He doesn't miss the break in her voice or the restlessness of her claws as they dig into the dirt, but nonetheless, he does continue to reach for her, coming closer until his knuckles can brush gently against the side of her face.
He understands her fear intimately, enough that he doesn't even register the hurt that aches deep down at her last words to him. I don't want to think blood tastes good. He can't blame her for harbouring such a natural revulsion, for fearing something so twisted and alien. Neither humans nor jinba were ever meant to sup on the blood of the living. To relish in such a thing is something Liem has always regarded as perverse at best, immoral and unholy at worst. Concern and deep sympathy wells in him as he gingerly caresses her cheek.]
I know, Konoha.
[If delighting in blood's savour was a choice, he would have long ago scorned it as vile, as repulsive and unclean. How dearly he would love to be able to say honestly that the thought of drinking live blood filled him only with revulsion.
But it has never been a choice. His only choice has ever been in how and when he indulges that desire, because to his shame, he has never been strong enough to abstain altogether—not for the century and more that he's walked the world. The best he can do is maintain the illusion of abstinence for as long as he can before seeking out willing participants in what he has long thought of as his concession to his baser desires. Only recently has he dared to be persuaded that he needn't think of those times with shame—but it has been a difficult and inconsistent thing to keep in his mind. Especially so in the face of such abject horror.]
It's all right. It's just the gem. You're still Konoha. [She's not a monster. Those desires aren't hers—not really. Unlike Liem, when she returns to her natural shape, she at least will be able to look back on the memory of her indulgences without any lingering trace of longing.] Try to remember the things that are important to you.
[In this moment, it doesn't even occur to Konoha that what she says out loud could be hurtful, because of course... in her mind, it's clear. She is a jinba, she's supposed to be a jinba, not whatever this cursed shape between two-legged and four was meant to be... and jinba didn't do such things. They didn't bite into their friends and lovers and suck the blood from their necks to sate their hunger, they didn't-
They didn't quiver and twitch with fear when someone they trusted implicitly reached out to touch them. Her claws dig in even harsher into the earth she's buried them in, a strange cracking sound emitted as she finds a root and begins squeezing it to try and fill her palm with something that wasn't Liem's flesh. He- He was trusting her, coming so close even though he knew better than anyone what the Wechuge form could do, and she had to-]
Liem, I don't want to hurt you...
[A few hot tears spill over his knuckles as she finds herself unable to stop leaning forward, at first perhaps just to anchor in the touch he offers her... but no, it's not that. She's smelling him, half-torturing herself with inhaling his scent... but unlike the far more affection-driven times she has "subtly" taken a little whiff of his spicy, citrus scent by taking advantage of their height difference to nuzzle into his hair...
This time he smells good enough to eat. Even with the hint of chill and black in his blood, there was manna in it... and the manna would make it better, she's sure-
She doesn't even realize that she'd opened her maw and bared her fangs until she barely manages to snap it back shut, swallowing heavy once, twice, her voice continuing to crack, even in the whisper.]
I don't think- I don't think I can do it like Liem can...
[What she perceived as self-control, how he was half of an undead creature that preyed on blood but he certainly wasn't... outside of that one terrifying night when he had been Wechuge, he'd never hurt her, no matter how easy she'd made it to feast on her flesh, not even in the times when she'd practically begged him to bite her. But was that... experience? Was that why she couldn't stop herself- ?]
Tell me how...
[The root cracks again in, in the pulsing clutch of her clawed fists.]
[Would that there were a simple solution that could trivialize the struggle not to give in to sanguine desires. Liem’s heart aches as he watches Konoha snap her mouth shut, denying the longing that so clearly occupies her thoughts. Even without the Nuckelavee’s cursed influence to cloud her mind further, he knows the call of blood by itself is impossible to ignore completely. Perhaps impossible to refuse for long at all, for one so unused to such a bestial craving.]
Syncing might help.
[He shifts the touch of his hand, now cupping her cheek instead of brushing it with his knuckles. At the very least, the manna might sate her cravings some, and steady her as syncing often seemed to. It helped his own blood-thirst as well, though it never really made it go away. To some extent, refusing to drink always came down to managing to convince himself that there were other things he wanted more.]
You wouldn’t like my blood, Konoha, [he says reasonably.] It’s not even properly alive. Besides, I have something important for you. Won’t you at least let me show you what it is?
[Syncing hadn’t helped the last time she had encountered a Wechuge. Every touch had left her feeling weaker. Once it (Liem, the body had been Liem, but not… that hadn’t been him, not really-) had dug teeth into her neck, everything bright and vibrant had been stolen from her, leeched away to leave her body cold and bloody, nothing at all how syncing, particularly the more intimate sort, could leave her body fairly humming with warmth and vitality. That duty had been left to Nikolai, who she’d had the fortunate misfortune to encounter after when they’d both been in need of healing.
But this time… this time her gem is emerald colored on her hip still, not the cloudy smoky quartz film of the cursed Gembonded of that time. This time… his touch does help, and she hungrily presses her cheek into his palm, desperate for that to be enough… even though she fears it won’t, because even though the little pulse of manna from that bit of contact does glow at the edge of her senses… a different pulse is distracting her. Like this, she can feel the slow pulse of his dhampir heartbeat, the blood moving beneath his skin, and though it’s sluggish and dark, though it tastes…
She doesn’t want to think blood tastes good, and Liem tells her she wouldn’t like it as if that was a good thing. No, it’s awful, she wishes he hadn’t said it-
But instead she locks her jaw as best she can, pulling her claws from the root beneath the soil to hesitantly raise them, anxiously flex her hands to see if she could trust herself to try and hold him without using that embrace to instead trap him, pull him close, wrench his head to the side-]
Y- you can show me…
[And she might guess what it was… If she weren’t trying so hard not to bite him. Now, it is just a distraction he offers her that she desperately takes, pleading with the gods that it will work.]
[Cautiously, Liem shifts closer to Konoha, his hand sliding down from her face to gently take one of her dirty, bloodied claws. He strokes the back softly with his thumb before brushing a kiss against her knuckles.]
I was waiting for a less hectic time to give this to you, but I think now is when you need to receive it.
[He speaks a short phrase in Taldane, reaching around to the small leather pouch hanging at his side and slipping his hand inside almost to the elbow. After a moment, he withdraws a gleaming key on a fine chain—a mirror of the holy symbol hanging around his neck, but wrought instead in all silver. Liem releases her hand so that he can carefully undo the thin chain's clasp, and gestures in silent offer to place it around her throat.]
This is the symbol I used to wear before I entered the princess's service. It's been with me for a very long time, but I want you to have it.
[His hands are small seeming, compared to hers that have twisted and elongated to match the gangly, misshapen limbs, the long, poisonous claws. Her fingers shake with effort that is required not to dig into his skin, to rip and tear, and now that he is holding it... there is something visible there that wasn't as obvious before. Bits of twine ragged and torn, rope burn on her wrists, and bits of leather still trapped between. Proof that she had attempted to neutralize herself by binding her talons away, afraid she might attack and hurt someone.
But at some point, she'd managed to rip them away, and bloodied that skin with fowl. Trying to distract herself still (or maybe just keeping an eye on her future meal), Konoha follows the movement of hand, watches as he pulls out...
A necklace, one she swears she has seen before, dangling off the neck of a traveling Taldoran monk of Abadar who'd found himself lost then found on a dream of Mt. Tsurugi. One that her daughter had laughed and giggled over, reaching for the shining pendant with tiny, warm hands, and now-]
Now... ?
[The tears in her eyes burn, and Konoha digs sharper-than-usual teeth into her lip to try and keep a handle on her desires, even more determined than before not to give in, her jaw spasming tight. How grateful she is, that the type gift she had dared to be selfish enough to ask him had manifested in such a personal, priceless shape. How horrified, that she would be so twisted and changed when he showed it to her.
She neither makes it easier nor pulls away from the offer to clasp it around her neck with the others hanging there, clearly visible from the disheveled way her kimono hangs half off her shoulders, her pelt wrap now too loose around her waist without equine withers. Instead, her voice breaks, touched beyond her current ability to express.]
[In the absence of any objection, Liem slides around Konoha’s side to stand close behind her, holding the pendant’s chain so the silver key dangles against her breast. Carefully, he reaches around her throat with one hand to grasp the chain’s other end, unable because of her antlers to simply lower it over her head.]
I can’t think of a better time.
[He draws the two ends of the clasp together, fastening it with precise motions of his claw-tipped fingers. It’s simply a silver necklace; there is no magic imbued in the pendant, no real functionality to it at all beyond a focus for prayers, and perhaps a means of holding a vampire at bay, should she ever encounter such a need. But it carries with it all his love and sentiment, which he’s discovered is an invaluable resource when fighting against one’s inner demons.
Settling the pendant in place along with its sibling necklaces, Liem leans forward, straightening Konoha’s kimono on her shoulders and then sliding his arms gently around her from behind. Tilting his head, he presses his lips against her temple.]
[She isn't worthy of such a gift right now, when she's twisted up like this and only the barest remnants of her willpower are keeping her from sinking her teeth into his flesh and sucking at the blood that would well up, and yet... He gives it to her, so sure and so kindly that by the time the silver chain is sliding against her skin and she feels the weight of the key-shaped pendant nestle against her breast that she is weeping openly. Her shoulders shake as she reaches for the necklace, but there's chicken blood smeared over her hands...
Smeared over her already somewhat stained kimono as she clumsily wipes her fingers so that they will be somewhat clean when she forces elongated, sharp digits to scrape over her collar (and yet she cannot poison herself, cannot paralyze herself, she's already tried) and find the pendant, clasping it in her hands fervently as a supplicant with a prayer. They matched, silver and gold...]
I love it... I love it so much...
["Thank you". The warmth of the synchrony born of his embrace, the kiss he presses against her temple, almost makes her feel like she's strong enough to resist the urges wracking her senses. She's afraid to touch him still, and so in place of the desire to hold she clutches harder at his gift, hanging her head and making a few strands of hair tangled in her antlers slip down or snag on a lower point in her rack. It's so selfish on top of everything else, yet-]
Liem, I promise, I'll try... I'll try not to bite you, so...
[Even though the idea of the sexual in this deconstructed shape, the far faster and stronger method for synchrony, was almost as terrifying as the idea of hurting him or draining him...]
Please don't let go...
[Maybe this could be enough, maybe it would soothe those darker desires that she worried might haunt her even after she returned to the jinba she was meant to be.]
[His fingers twitch faintly as she moves a hand up to her collar, aching to remove the scraps of leather and twine from her wrists, to clean away the blood and dirt and soothe the raw patches of skin. But he gives her what she asks for, first and foremost, and he doesn’t release the gentle circle his arms have made around her. Not yet.]
I know you will, Konoha. You wouldn’t have asked me to come otherwise.
[She surely wouldn’t have called him in a panic if she’d simply been intending to pounce on him as soon as he arrived. Even if that’s almost what ended up happening, he doesn’t hold any blame toward her for that. Liem presses his cheek gently against hers, extending this moment for just a little longer, wrapped around her as she clutches, weeping, at the bequeathed symbol.]
I brought something else too, if you want me to use it. I have a pair of gem-bindings.
[He can’t recall ever telling Konoha about them before. He hasn’t had many occasions to use them; the only time he recalls ever trying to put them on someone else was the time he lured Nikolai’s monster into his house. The last time he’d used them had been during Opalim, during his own curse.]
They won’t stop the cravings. But they will prevent a feral state, and make this form weaker. And… they might prevent the paralysis from working, as well.
[He's right. Even if she'd failed, and the first hint of a body rich with the blood and manna she craved made her lose control by accident, her intent... She wouldn't have called him for help if she hadn't at least believed she wouldn't hurt him. Maybe she'd just wanted to believe.
For a moment, she feels pitiful. Not because she's weeping, because she's never felt ashamed of that, and he has seen her tears enough to know what they mean, but because she is afraid to nuzzle back against his cheek even though she wants to more than anything in that moment. (Except no.... What she wants more than anything is to sink her teeth into one of the wrists wrapped around her waist. She wants to nuzzle second-most.)
He might never have told her that he owned a pair, but she's familiar enough with the gem-bindings after GemSci developed them to address the more feral transformations, and relief floods her, strange, half-jinba legs nearly giving out. Even though the idea of being bound or having her movement restricted in any way had always scared her, she'd managed to try to do it to herself, and if these had some magic in them that would keep them on...]
I want you to...
[Even if her hands shake a bit with fear, she just clasps the pendant tighter to keep them still, tight enough that it begins to leave an imprint in her palm.]
If the poison would just go away...
[Then she could hold him. Couldn't she? (Or did she just want to so that his throat would be closer to her mouth? She can't tell anymore, where her motivations and desires are coming from, and it leaves her feeling lost.)]
[Liem's first memory of these bindings hails back to the very first days he spent above Noctium, trapped in the Sky Station after his arrival while both above and below, gembonded lost their senses in monstrous transformations. He'd spent hours cuffed in his temporary cell, trembling with dread and confusion in an unfamiliar lupine shape. After being released in the city proper, he'd purchased a pair of bindings from Red during the very first opportunity he'd been afforded.
His worries proved largely unnecessary; except for a few isolated occasions, the months' transformations did not bring on a repeat of that feral state. But he's nevertheless kept the bindings charged since then, and he remembers well the few occasions he's needed to use them. For Liem, there was never any anxiety associated with the feeling of being bound; all of his worries were for what might happen if he wasn't. But he knows that isn't the case for her.]
It will be all right, Konoha.
[Unwrapping his arms from around her, he slides his hands down her arms, coaxing her wrists closer until he can ease them free from the shreds of her makeshift bindings. Then, fishing the gem-bindings from his pouch, he fastens the first cuff carefully around one rope-reddened wrist.]
I won't let anything happen. Not if I can help it.
[And before she can object, he takes his fingers from her wrist and fastens the other cuff around his own.]
[She wants to believe him when he says that it will be alright. She almost does, even though the craving for manna and blood is like a pulsing migraine in the back of her skull. Because his hands are gentle on hers when they undo the scraps of her own binding attempt from her wrists, and he says... he says a line that is all too familiar to her.
I won't let something like this place or its curse keep any bit of you... not if I can help it...
The devotion, the love in those words... tinged with the dose of realism that had always grounded their relationship. The knowledge that there was always the possibility they wouldn't be able to keep a promise like that, not in a strange and sometimes dangerous world like this, but oh... they would try. So she tries, reluctant to release his pendant but surrendering her trembling wrists to him for one cuff, the sound of it clicking close making her shudder, but then-
The next click goes on Liem's wrist, as he binds himself quite literally to her side. At first, Konoha just stares, like she isn't sure what's even happening, before her head slowly cocks, her gaze seeks his.]
Liem... What are you doing... ?
[She means to ask more, she thinks, and yet- there's too much saliva in her mouth. She has to swallow.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
voice call | un: konoha (forward dated to monster week)
But it’s not that.
There’s a low, unidentifiable sound, a wet hiccup and a crunch, and then finally, muffled yet raw,]
Liem… ? I think I need help…
no subject
[This is far from the usual kind of call he expects to receive from her, and Liem is immediately concerned.]
Are you hurt? Where are you?
no subject
[That she can answer easily enough, even through her tears, but-]
But I’m- I’m like Liem was… before… when you were cursed…
no subject
When I was cursed? [he echoes.
He pauses, wondering if he should bring his gem-bindings as well. They hadn’t erased his hunger, but they had made it somewhat more possible to resist, at least for a time. But… would Konoha even want to wear them?
Either way, he can’t deny her request for aid.]
Just stay there. I’ll come to you.
no subject
Okay… okay…
[Words seem hard. Would she wear bindings, would she be comfortable with such a thing after what her race had gone through? She doesn’t think to ask him to bring them, but-
There’s another crunch that sounds… a bit suspiciously like bone.]
Liem, please hurry…
no subject
[He decides to grab the bindings just in case; it only takes a few moments to go upstairs and retrieve them. He keeps his phone at his ear, not wanting to hang up on Konoha when she sounds so distressed, and she’s treated to the sound of a short invocation as he makes his way out the door, out onto the street: a plea for swiftness. He arrows down the street for the nearest flashpoint, streaking through the dusk with unnatural speed.
It occurs to him, as he careens into the booth and very nearly splats against its inner wall, that Konoha could be luring him intentionally into her clutches. From the memories he still retains of his transformations, his curse hadn’t robbed him of his wits; it had merely squashed his morals. If he hadn’t been so eager to hunt, he might have used his phone to get his prey to come to him.
But he doesn’t think Konoha is capable of such convincing deception. And in any case, whether or not she might turn on him, he can’t simply leave her to her own devices.]
I’ll be there soon, Konoha. Just wait for me.
[The flashpoint whisks him away from his own neighbourhood, bringing him to the city outskirts. Liem puts his phone away, shouldering his way out of the booth as he does. There is a brief green glow, and his tailored clothes warp and melt away, replaced with brown-and-grey fur.
A lean, long-legged wolf races down the dirt road toward Konoha’s home.]
no subject
I'm waiting... I'll wait...
[The "thank you" gets stuck in her craw, or maybe that's just a little gag on the heat of the blood in her mouth and on her tongue that isn't doing anything to soothe the cravings that have only grown more intense since she woke in this twisted form. In the silence that follows she clutches the phone against her forehead, in between the painful places where antlers had burst from skull and skin, but by the time the scent of wolf spikes in the wind, the sign of an intruder in her territory, conjuring up images and fears and a strange, new desire to fight, to defend, to ambush...
When Liem arrives, the barn door is half-open. The phone screen glints beside the mauled corpse of a chicken that looks bitten and ripped apart in the roots of the large linden tree in the yard, the trunk marred with what looks like claw marks... and from above, just hidden in the heavy leaf of the thick lower branches... two eyes glow red.]
no subject
Konoha? It’s me.
[He calls out quietly, scanning the surroundings for signs of movement. The ajar barn door yawns ominously at the end of the path, but he resists the urge to race headlong over to it. Following the scattering of feathers to the sight of her discarded phone lying under the linden tree, he slides his gaze around and then up, into the thick greenery of the tree’s branches.]
Konoha?
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The wolf becomes a man, something, something like recognition returns... But not fast enough. Eyes gone crimson in the dark have focused instead on fur, ears, and more primal... scent. She'd resisted a long time, all day, even part of this day, but ever since she'd given in and tried to feed, gotten a taste... She only has seconds before she loses the advantage of surprise, and her now slightly-too-long, strangely joined limbs shuffle, muscles bunch powerfully-
And she leaps down towards him with an inhuman snarl, sharp teeth bared and aiming for his throat, claws he might know better than most to try and avoid aiming for his flesh.]
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Then she explodes from the branches with claws outstretched, and Liem moves on instinct, pouncing forward to duck beneath the grasp of her claws and past her toward the tree’s sturdy trunk.]
Konoha, wait!
[He grips the bark with one clawed hand and uses it to whirl around without interrupting his momentum, now skirting backwards away from her. With a shock he realizes that her transformation has altered her body far more than it had his own, robbing her of her equine half and replacing it with a single pair of long, cloven-hooved legs. Somehow this change is infinitely more disturbing than the bipedal appearance of her dryad form.]
I’m here to help!
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And much like a man she had met once, in the dark of the night fleeing a different cursed Gembonded... her lips are smeared with blood, despite lack of injury that would explain it away, sharp fangs bared by a snarl-- an expression that, more than anything... perhaps looks the most unnatural at all, situated below a heavy rack of stained antlers tangled with leaves and branches from the linden and wild strands of her ink black hair.
But the expression falters, at the clearer sound of his voice. Her eyes dull from their crimson glow, her brow furrows, throat trembling with a swallow that threatens to become a gag as she seems to be fighting through herself, the wechuge, something-]
Liem... ?
[Why did he look- She hated it, he looks so warm and full of manna and so gods damned delicious-]
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That's right. I got here as quickly as I could.
[Even on two legs she still towers over him, her form seeming to have wasted away into something long and lean without losing a single inch in height. He recalls dimly that he'd actually grown taller during his own cursed nights—but he's not cursed now, and in his most human-like wolf's form he isn't any larger than usual at all. Most of the form's agility and power are locked away while he's like this, but he doesn't want to frighten Konoha by wearing a more bestial shape just now.
He hazards a step closer, his short, tidy boots crunching gently on the dirt around the tree's roots. Slowly, watching Konoha for signs of any sudden movement, he reaches a hand toward her.]
Is it all right if I touch you?
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She swallows again, pupils harshly blown out in the gathering evening light as her gaze darts frantically between Liem and the bloodied chicken corpse near his feet, her tongue sliding out to lap it from her lips and be reminded... it wasn't good enough. Someone with manna would be so much better, surely it would sate...
Her claws dig furrows into the earth and catch on thick linden roots in the earth, an attempt to try and neutralize herself without risking further movement that might turn into a leap and a slash, lip twisting and brow furrowing worse as tears of horror spring to her eyes, blurring his shape as he comes closer, close enough to reach out and touch her-]
Liem, I'm scared-
[Scared of this shape that felt so wrong, but more importantly-]
I'm going to- I'm going to bite you, and I don't want-
[What was it she'd meant... There was something she meant to ask him, something she thought only Liem could answer, and she remembered picking up the phone, but then the chicken had crossed her field of vision and-
Her voice breaks, remembering what it was, a wet, crimson gurgle in the back of her throat.]
I don't want to think blood tastes good...
[How he resists the urge. That's what... That's what she'd been planning to ask.]
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He understands her fear intimately, enough that he doesn't even register the hurt that aches deep down at her last words to him. I don't want to think blood tastes good. He can't blame her for harbouring such a natural revulsion, for fearing something so twisted and alien. Neither humans nor jinba were ever meant to sup on the blood of the living. To relish in such a thing is something Liem has always regarded as perverse at best, immoral and unholy at worst. Concern and deep sympathy wells in him as he gingerly caresses her cheek.]
I know, Konoha.
[If delighting in blood's savour was a choice, he would have long ago scorned it as vile, as repulsive and unclean. How dearly he would love to be able to say honestly that the thought of drinking live blood filled him only with revulsion.
But it has never been a choice. His only choice has ever been in how and when he indulges that desire, because to his shame, he has never been strong enough to abstain altogether—not for the century and more that he's walked the world. The best he can do is maintain the illusion of abstinence for as long as he can before seeking out willing participants in what he has long thought of as his concession to his baser desires. Only recently has he dared to be persuaded that he needn't think of those times with shame—but it has been a difficult and inconsistent thing to keep in his mind. Especially so in the face of such abject horror.]
It's all right. It's just the gem. You're still Konoha. [She's not a monster. Those desires aren't hers—not really. Unlike Liem, when she returns to her natural shape, she at least will be able to look back on the memory of her indulgences without any lingering trace of longing.] Try to remember the things that are important to you.
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They didn't quiver and twitch with fear when someone they trusted implicitly reached out to touch them. Her claws dig in even harsher into the earth she's buried them in, a strange cracking sound emitted as she finds a root and begins squeezing it to try and fill her palm with something that wasn't Liem's flesh. He- He was trusting her, coming so close even though he knew better than anyone what the Wechuge form could do, and she had to-]
Liem, I don't want to hurt you...
[A few hot tears spill over his knuckles as she finds herself unable to stop leaning forward, at first perhaps just to anchor in the touch he offers her... but no, it's not that. She's smelling him, half-torturing herself with inhaling his scent... but unlike the far more affection-driven times she has "subtly" taken a little whiff of his spicy, citrus scent by taking advantage of their height difference to nuzzle into his hair...
This time he smells good enough to eat. Even with the hint of chill and black in his blood, there was manna in it... and the manna would make it better, she's sure-
She doesn't even realize that she'd opened her maw and bared her fangs until she barely manages to snap it back shut, swallowing heavy once, twice, her voice continuing to crack, even in the whisper.]
I don't think- I don't think I can do it like Liem can...
[What she perceived as self-control, how he was half of an undead creature that preyed on blood but he certainly wasn't... outside of that one terrifying night when he had been Wechuge, he'd never hurt her, no matter how easy she'd made it to feast on her flesh, not even in the times when she'd practically begged him to bite her. But was that... experience? Was that why she couldn't stop herself- ?]
Tell me how...
[The root cracks again in, in the pulsing clutch of her clawed fists.]
Tell me how not to hurt you...
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Syncing might help.
[He shifts the touch of his hand, now cupping her cheek instead of brushing it with his knuckles. At the very least, the manna might sate her cravings some, and steady her as syncing often seemed to. It helped his own blood-thirst as well, though it never really made it go away. To some extent, refusing to drink always came down to managing to convince himself that there were other things he wanted more.]
You wouldn’t like my blood, Konoha, [he says reasonably.] It’s not even properly alive. Besides, I have something important for you. Won’t you at least let me show you what it is?
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But this time… this time her gem is emerald colored on her hip still, not the cloudy smoky quartz film of the cursed Gembonded of that time. This time… his touch does help, and she hungrily presses her cheek into his palm, desperate for that to be enough… even though she fears it won’t, because even though the little pulse of manna from that bit of contact does glow at the edge of her senses… a different pulse is distracting her. Like this, she can feel the slow pulse of his dhampir heartbeat, the blood moving beneath his skin, and though it’s sluggish and dark, though it tastes…
She doesn’t want to think blood tastes good, and Liem tells her she wouldn’t like it as if that was a good thing. No, it’s awful, she wishes he hadn’t said it-
But instead she locks her jaw as best she can, pulling her claws from the root beneath the soil to hesitantly raise them, anxiously flex her hands to see if she could trust herself to try and hold him without using that embrace to instead trap him, pull him close, wrench his head to the side-]
Y- you can show me…
[And she might guess what it was… If she weren’t trying so hard not to bite him. Now, it is just a distraction he offers her that she desperately takes, pleading with the gods that it will work.]
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I was waiting for a less hectic time to give this to you, but I think now is when you need to receive it.
[He speaks a short phrase in Taldane, reaching around to the small leather pouch hanging at his side and slipping his hand inside almost to the elbow. After a moment, he withdraws a gleaming key on a fine chain—a mirror of the holy symbol hanging around his neck, but wrought instead in all silver. Liem releases her hand so that he can carefully undo the thin chain's clasp, and gestures in silent offer to place it around her throat.]
This is the symbol I used to wear before I entered the princess's service. It's been with me for a very long time, but I want you to have it.
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But at some point, she'd managed to rip them away, and bloodied that skin with fowl. Trying to distract herself still (or maybe just keeping an eye on her future meal), Konoha follows the movement of hand, watches as he pulls out...
A necklace, one she swears she has seen before, dangling off the neck of a traveling Taldoran monk of Abadar who'd found himself lost then found on a dream of Mt. Tsurugi. One that her daughter had laughed and giggled over, reaching for the shining pendant with tiny, warm hands, and now-]
Now... ?
[The tears in her eyes burn, and Konoha digs sharper-than-usual teeth into her lip to try and keep a handle on her desires, even more determined than before not to give in, her jaw spasming tight. How grateful she is, that the type gift she had dared to be selfish enough to ask him had manifested in such a personal, priceless shape. How horrified, that she would be so twisted and changed when he showed it to her.
She neither makes it easier nor pulls away from the offer to clasp it around her neck with the others hanging there, clearly visible from the disheveled way her kimono hangs half off her shoulders, her pelt wrap now too loose around her waist without equine withers. Instead, her voice breaks, touched beyond her current ability to express.]
You want me to have it now, Liem... ?
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I can’t think of a better time.
[He draws the two ends of the clasp together, fastening it with precise motions of his claw-tipped fingers. It’s simply a silver necklace; there is no magic imbued in the pendant, no real functionality to it at all beyond a focus for prayers, and perhaps a means of holding a vampire at bay, should she ever encounter such a need. But it carries with it all his love and sentiment, which he’s discovered is an invaluable resource when fighting against one’s inner demons.
Settling the pendant in place along with its sibling necklaces, Liem leans forward, straightening Konoha’s kimono on her shoulders and then sliding his arms gently around her from behind. Tilting his head, he presses his lips against her temple.]
Thank you for waiting, Konoha.
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Smeared over her already somewhat stained kimono as she clumsily wipes her fingers so that they will be somewhat clean when she forces elongated, sharp digits to scrape over her collar (and yet she cannot poison herself, cannot paralyze herself, she's already tried) and find the pendant, clasping it in her hands fervently as a supplicant with a prayer. They matched, silver and gold...]
I love it... I love it so much...
["Thank you". The warmth of the synchrony born of his embrace, the kiss he presses against her temple, almost makes her feel like she's strong enough to resist the urges wracking her senses. She's afraid to touch him still, and so in place of the desire to hold she clutches harder at his gift, hanging her head and making a few strands of hair tangled in her antlers slip down or snag on a lower point in her rack. It's so selfish on top of everything else, yet-]
Liem, I promise, I'll try... I'll try not to bite you, so...
[Even though the idea of the sexual in this deconstructed shape, the far faster and stronger method for synchrony, was almost as terrifying as the idea of hurting him or draining him...]
Please don't let go...
[Maybe this could be enough, maybe it would soothe those darker desires that she worried might haunt her even after she returned to the jinba she was meant to be.]
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I know you will, Konoha. You wouldn’t have asked me to come otherwise.
[She surely wouldn’t have called him in a panic if she’d simply been intending to pounce on him as soon as he arrived. Even if that’s almost what ended up happening, he doesn’t hold any blame toward her for that. Liem presses his cheek gently against hers, extending this moment for just a little longer, wrapped around her as she clutches, weeping, at the bequeathed symbol.]
I brought something else too, if you want me to use it. I have a pair of gem-bindings.
[He can’t recall ever telling Konoha about them before. He hasn’t had many occasions to use them; the only time he recalls ever trying to put them on someone else was the time he lured Nikolai’s monster into his house. The last time he’d used them had been during Opalim, during his own curse.]
They won’t stop the cravings. But they will prevent a feral state, and make this form weaker. And… they might prevent the paralysis from working, as well.
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For a moment, she feels pitiful. Not because she's weeping, because she's never felt ashamed of that, and he has seen her tears enough to know what they mean, but because she is afraid to nuzzle back against his cheek even though she wants to more than anything in that moment. (Except no.... What she wants more than anything is to sink her teeth into one of the wrists wrapped around her waist. She wants to nuzzle second-most.)
He might never have told her that he owned a pair, but she's familiar enough with the gem-bindings after GemSci developed them to address the more feral transformations, and relief floods her, strange, half-jinba legs nearly giving out. Even though the idea of being bound or having her movement restricted in any way had always scared her, she'd managed to try to do it to herself, and if these had some magic in them that would keep them on...]
I want you to...
[Even if her hands shake a bit with fear, she just clasps the pendant tighter to keep them still, tight enough that it begins to leave an imprint in her palm.]
If the poison would just go away...
[Then she could hold him. Couldn't she? (Or did she just want to so that his throat would be closer to her mouth? She can't tell anymore, where her motivations and desires are coming from, and it leaves her feeling lost.)]
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His worries proved largely unnecessary; except for a few isolated occasions, the months' transformations did not bring on a repeat of that feral state. But he's nevertheless kept the bindings charged since then, and he remembers well the few occasions he's needed to use them. For Liem, there was never any anxiety associated with the feeling of being bound; all of his worries were for what might happen if he wasn't. But he knows that isn't the case for her.]
It will be all right, Konoha.
[Unwrapping his arms from around her, he slides his hands down her arms, coaxing her wrists closer until he can ease them free from the shreds of her makeshift bindings. Then, fishing the gem-bindings from his pouch, he fastens the first cuff carefully around one rope-reddened wrist.]
I won't let anything happen. Not if I can help it.
[And before she can object, he takes his fingers from her wrist and fastens the other cuff around his own.]
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I won't let something like this place or its curse keep any bit of you... not if I can help it...
The devotion, the love in those words... tinged with the dose of realism that had always grounded their relationship. The knowledge that there was always the possibility they wouldn't be able to keep a promise like that, not in a strange and sometimes dangerous world like this, but oh... they would try. So she tries, reluctant to release his pendant but surrendering her trembling wrists to him for one cuff, the sound of it clicking close making her shudder, but then-
The next click goes on Liem's wrist, as he binds himself quite literally to her side. At first, Konoha just stares, like she isn't sure what's even happening, before her head slowly cocks, her gaze seeks his.]
Liem... What are you doing... ?
[She means to ask more, she thinks, and yet- there's too much saliva in her mouth. She has to swallow.]
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cw: self-harm
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