sterngaze | open post

[ If Liem’s tone makes him pause, it’s only for a moment. He has found the pocket; a few seconds later, he lets the trousers drop from his fingers, as the crystal vial is safely in his hand.

Cardan’s face is carefully controlled when he looks back towards the bed, to the beacon of Liem’s voice and his eyes in the dark.

What a strange situation he has landed himself in. ]

I told you not to tease if you were unwilling to commit.

Evidently, you were so — or we would hardly be here, nor would I be dodging a million courtiers asking me questions I cannot answer.

[ …he’s frustrated. It’s frustrating. He’s good at obfuscation, but even Cardan finds it difficult to deflect direct queries, not to mention that it’s humiliating to have to pretend away the fact his husband doesn’t desire his blood. If there is some reason Liem sounds confused, he does not want to think about it; it’s easier to assume Cardan is right about this. Hope is the worst kind of poison. He had told Liem as much on the night of their wedding, and meant it. And what reason does he have to believe that Liem might want to bite him, at this point, when he seems well-content to sup on humans?

It’s depressing to think about. He unstoppers the vial and shakes a generous portion directly onto his tongue, not bothering with any measuring nonsense. ]

[Not for the first time, Liem feels like he and Cardan are using the same set of words to speak to each other in entirely different languages. He remembers the way in which Cardan had challenged him, even goaded him, he'd thought, when he first skimmed his teeth over his neck. And yet, he'd seemed so skittish about the subject, so defensive. He'd seemed more interested in fighting with Liem than in receiving his bite.

As he watches Cardan retrieve a vial of some shimmery powder and look back at him, impassive, he feels his own expression slide automatically shut — as if the dark didn't already make him inscrutable enough. But he is frustrated, and, more than that, he cannot help but feel a little stung that Cardan seems to find his desire to accommodate him not just worthless, but insulting.]

Yes, you did.

[He watches Cardan tip some of his mystery drug onto his tongue. He has to assume the powder has pain-killing properties; the only other obvious possibility is that Cardan just doesn't currently wish to be around him sober.]

I will be honest, Cardan: tetchy and defensive are not qualities I seek when I wish to know that my lover wants me to keep going. You have made me a villain for wanting to treat you like a partner instead of a possession, and I still don't know why.

[ Cardan hasn’t felt particularly vulnerable, despite his functional lack of sight — not until just now, anyway. They are entering uncomfortable territory, however, and despite the soothing warmth of Nevermore melting on his tongue, he cannot help but feel a little more naked all of a sudden.

Liem isn’t wrong. Cardan is both tetchy and defensive, and he has assumed that his partner would bend over backwards to read between the lines of his reaction. Perhaps it is not entirely Liem’s fault that he hadn’t.

That doesn’t mean Cardan is inclined to be conciliatory.

He swallows the powder down, corks the bottle, and wipes his mouth, deliberately careful about each. Then he leans his good shoulder against a carved bedpost and faces down his husband, ignoring the fact that he cannot see him. ]

Very well.

Then let me be clear.

[ He says this with a face that suggests he’s giving away nothing at all. ]

I want you to bite me. I wanted it then and I want it now. I will likely get off on it when you do.

And it pisses me off that you are spending your time with humans instead.

[ He’ll toss the vial with apparent confidence that it will land beside his pillow, which it does. ]

Does that suffice, or do you have other complaints on offer?

[When Cardan finally faces him down and makes his grievances plain, Liem spends a long moment feeling completely bewildered by the revelation of his jealousy. Vampires are of course a jealous lot, and he has had to field possessiveness from a number of even his casual lovers, but never before has his diet been a source of conflict.

Then again, never before has he taken a lover who had blood that he might want to drink. But still: he knows quite well that many humans regard the idea of being bitten with horror rather than excitement, and a large percentage of those who feed the courts’ vampires never have the opportunity to offer either their opinion or their permission. To him, the idea that Elfhame’s youngest prince would not only let him drink his blood, but feel offended by his reluctance to broach the subject, borders on preposterous.

He doesn’t even look at the vial that lands beside him on the bed; he is too busy staring at his husband.]

You had me convinced that you were just nervous.

[He tries to keep the astonishment from his voice, but he truly wasn’t expecting this outcome, after he’d already convinced himself that it was his hasty advances that had made Cardan so defensive in the first place. What else was he to think, when he had every reason to believe that no one had ever bitten him before?]

I never meant to snub you.

[ Cardan has cause to be thankful for his practice in being put on the spot. There is no way for him to read the long silence from the bed without seeing Liem’s face, and so all he can do is cross his arms and gaze back, tail twitching impatiently at his side.

Then Liem does speak, and it is Cardan’s turn to stare. Despite himself, his face goes through a range of emotions: surprise, then incredulity, then finally irritation. Liem means him to believe this?

His glare could strip the bark from an oak. ]

When have I ever been afraid of you?

[ He doesn’t wait for an answer. Instead he will step unto the bed, then kneel, reaching forward until he finds Liem. From here, he moves up, fingertips tracing along his husband’s body like a guide. He wants to be close. He wants to trap Liem against the sheets or the wall and— do what, exactly?

Cardan imagines he will figure it out once he’s there.

His expression remains absolutely thunderous. ]

[Liem isn't sure what kind of reaction he'd expected, or even what he'd hoped for when he told Cardan about his mistaken assumptions. Mostly, he'd simply felt that he was obligated to be forthright, considering the honesty he'd managed to wring from his spouse. He hadn't wanted Cardan to think that he was being spiteful, or simply uninterested.

Though when Cardan skewers him with his glare, even through the blind dark, he cannot truly say that he is surprised.

He doesn't retreat from his husband's wrathful approach, but simply waits, letting Cardan find his way to him over the sheets and up his body. He remains seated just where he is, and if Cardan insists on it then he will allow himself to be pushed back down against the pillows, but he is more interested in watching him move through the dark than in capitulating to his stare. He looks fantastically angry.]

I didn't say afraid.

[His cool fingers skim up Cardan's thighs to splay over his hips. He wonders briefly if that too is a mistake.]

And I didn't mean of me. But husband, even if I had ever made you afraid, I wouldn't expect you to show it.

[ It’s a fair point, because Cardan certainly isn’t inclined to show Liem any of his fears. Unfortunately, his husband’s calm manner only frustrates him more, at the moment. It’s difficult to read, for one. And it makes Cardan feel like he is overreacting.

Which he is not.

He does not attempt to push Liem down; Cardan will only straddle him, which is familiar, and brace an arm against the headboard, which is new. The cool, intimate touch at his hips is distracting, but not enough to abate the languid menace in his sneer nor the furious sweep of his tail. ]

Then what did you mean? Do tell.

[ His fingers seek and find Liem’s jaw for the express purpose of tilting his face towards Cardan’s glare.

…well, maybe not only that. Once again, his thumb traces Liem’s lip, presses against the side of his mouth, where he knows the fangs live. ] Surely you did not expect me to be nervous of these.

[ Surely not.

Being frightened of a predator’s teeth is so passé. ]

[Even faced with Cardan’s anger, pinned beneath his haughty, unflinching stare, Liem is keenly distracted by the deliberate menace of those elegant fingers moving against his jaw. In better light, he would worry about the effect the touch has on his expression; keeping it sober and reasonable is difficult when his husband’s favourite intimidation tactics also seem designed specifically to make him horny.

Not that disguising his distraction is going to be remotely possible, anyway, if Cardan continues along this line for very long.]

Were you not? Not even slightly?

[He has enough presence of mind, at least, not to smile while Cardan’s hand is resting on his face. And to resist the urge to suck his thumb into his mouth, regardless of how much he would like to.]

I thought that must be it. Your pulse does such interesting things when I use my teeth.

Ah, yes, [ drawls Cardan, managing to pack a few extra syllables' worth of sarcasm into the word. ] I must have forgotten my preference for sleeping with people who scare me.

[ The way Liem's mouth moves against his touch is interesting; the whisper of breath on the tail of his words is interesting. He's realizing, peripherally, that the drug's languid tendrils are curling down the length of his spine. Cardan breathes out, carefully, his thumb stroking over the soft skin of Liem's lip in a distracted, accidental caress.

He's still annoyed. It's just not the only thing occupying his focus now. ]

Strange, that you kept using them. What with all your concern.

[ Concern that he clearly believes Liem to be overstating. ]

[There his husband goes again: insinuating that he might find Liem frightening, or that Liem must think he does. He's being particularly nasty about it, too. Liem looks up into his face, and wonders, if he tried to kiss him, if Cardan would let him.]

Why are you trying to have a fight with me about this?

[He caresses idly at Cardan's skin: his upper thigh, the side of his hip, his slim waist, the small of his back. He is distracted by the weight straddling his lap, yes, but he's also puzzled by the tack Cardan is taking in their conversation-turned-argument. If he wants to back Liem into exposing himself, he's going to be disappointed.]

I told you a week ago that I wasn't going to bite you unless you wanted me to. It was obvious that you liked it—

[He couldn't possibly have failed to notice the excitement the scrape of his fangs elicited in his husband. He'd have needed to be in a coma not to notice it.]

—and you made me think that you were willing. But then, you were so keen to get me away from your neck; I thought the prospect of being bitten still made you nervous, and I didn't want to press the issue when you weren't ready.

[ Cardan takes offence to the idea that he's only trying to fight, and again at the suggestion that he's in any way to blame for what appears to be a truly, colossally stupid misunderstanding.

Though maybe he should be consoled by the fact that Liem clearly does not know what nervous looks like on him. ]

You have a habit, husband, of being considerate in ways I never asked for.

[ Some of the venom has left his voice; his hand slips away from Liem's face, curling over his shoulder instead. Liem's idle petting makes Cardan feel like a rankled animal being soothed; unfortunately, it's not ineffective. It takes Cardan some effort not to shiver against his touch outright. The tail coils against Liem's thigh -- still agitated, but no longer so emphatic as before.

He'll close his eyes and lean his forehead against the polished wood of the headboard. ]

I've told you why I'm angry, and I've told you what I want. What you do with that is hardly up to me.

[Is Cardan less angry now, or has he simply decided it's not worth it to continue menacing a man who resists both goading and intimidation? Liem doesn't want to fight with him about this. He just wants to understand, and to make Cardan understand, regardless of how little interest his husband seems to have in being understanding.]

I know no other way to be.

[Liem slides his arm further around Cardan's waist, but resists the urge to lean his head against his husband's shoulder. He's always taken care, with everyone: with his father, with his peers, with his servants, with his lovers. It's just another form of caution, another set of rules to follow, to shape his reputation and his life — but if there's a way to switch off the habit, he doesn't know what it is.

Though he's not always skilled in the execution of that particular priority, obviously.]

Cardan.

[He sighs, dips his head so his lips brush along the warm curve of neck and shoulder.]

I want to taste you. I've wanted it since the night we were married. And even though I have obligations to attend to, and even though the good doctor would skin me if she knew I'd bitten one of her patients, I still want it now.

[ It's funny: all his life, Cardan has wanted someone to care about him, and now that someone is giving him this very thing, he can't stop being resentful about it.

It's difficult not to believe Liem. He has a knack for wielding sincerity like a blade, cutting cleanly through Cardan's crabby objections and mean little jabs. Cardan finds he has little recourse for it -- or, rather, that he doesn't want to have recourse for it. He wants to believe his husband when he says he only cares about Cardan's comfort, even if it is patently stupid, and stupider still to take him at face value.

He does not expect the pivot to the thing Liem says next. The effect is as immediate as if Liem had used his actual teeth again: his heart thumps, heavy, then speeds into a racing beat. Desire pools in his belly, powerful and immediate. It ought to soothe him -- knowing that Liem hadn't thought him undesirable, but of course it doesn't and cannot.

He doesn't want to pull away from Liem's mouth, but he will. It's only so Cardan can put hands on his face, can look at him, his brows knit. ]

I don't care about your horrid doctor's opinion.

[ More specifically: Cardan hates her and her small, relentless stitches. He will hate her more if she costs him this.

His eyes bore into Liem's glowing ones. ]

I can only stomach so many rejections, Liem.

Either refuse me and be done with it, or give me the thing we both want.

Edited (comma) 2023-01-25 19:23 (UTC)

[Liem wonders what Cardan sees when he takes his face in his hands like this, to stare into eyes peering at him through complete darkness. His servants have told him that his eyes glow red in the dark: nothing more. Is it strange to glimpse only a pair of eyes suspended in the black? Is it strange to touch a lover you cannot see, even with eyes wide open?

Cardan's scowl is clear enough for him. So is the answer to the decision he's presented him with.]

I would be a stupid man indeed if I refused you now.

[He has no wish to court his husband's hurt and resentment, not to appease the house doctor, nor to keep his evening meeting with Gusairne, nor for any other reason. If he cannot prioritize his husband's desires now, then for what purpose has he endangered his own life to keep him here? Besides — he is distractingly, woefully thirsty. If he does not mean to drink from Cardan, he will need to drink from someone else, which would be insult upon insult.

So he leans up to claim his mouth in a deliberate kiss, hungry at the edges: a statement of intent. He does not want to rush in, because even if Cardan scorns the threat of his teeth and his notions of feeling their bite for the first time, Liem has never been intimate in this way with a lover before. He intends to savour it as much as he can.]

[ A part of Cardan is pathetically relieved. In truth, he doesn't know if he could have put away his resentment if Liem had refused him again. The only reason he's not more sore about it is that it's difficult to concentrate on past slights when Liem's mouth moves against his own.

He kisses back with near-consuming longing. Unlike his husband, Cardan has no intention of being even a little bit measured -- not when his blood is singing with Nevermore, much more of it than he had taken the morning prior. Not when every touch sends sparks of pleasure through him. Now that he has lost his focus, his anger is quick to dissipate: it is replaced with languid, half-lidded ease.

He pulls back just enough to let a smile curl his lips. ]

You have many fantasies to live up to.

[ So maybe it's Liem who ought to be nervous.

Cardan kisses him again, because it's difficult to stop. ]

[Liem is not expecting the transformation that simply giving Cardan his assent and his kiss seems to evoke. The irritation and spite seem to melt from him, replaced with ease and longing. As the tension beneath Liem's hands subsides and the tail slows its agitated twitching, Cardan's weight straddling his lap starts to seem less like a threat, and more and more like temptation.

Fortunately, he's long since discarded any intention of resisting.

Cardan gives him little opportunity to actually access his neck, occupied as he is with his mouth, but Liem is in no hurry. It would be a lie to say that he hadn't been wanting Cardan's mouth on his since the moment he crawled on top of him, and the insatiable longing in his kiss makes Liem want to drown in it. He hums; drags his hands up Cardan's back, nibbling indulgently at his lip, and steals another lingering kiss before he acknowledges his reply with anything more.]

All at once, [he mutters, tilting his head to find the line of Cardan's jaw,] or can I attempt them one by one?

[ Cardan arches into the touch of strong hands on his back. He's noticed that Liem is still strangely, insistently gentle with him, even when Cardan has bitten and pushed and clutched at him hard enough to make a normal lover bruise. Sometimes Cardan aches for Liem to do the same; sometimes, he wants his husband to dig nails into his back and drag welts down it, defying the lattice of scars that covers it.

Tonight, he only wants Liem to keep touching him.

The question makes him laugh -- an amused huff as he tips his head back, offering Liem more of his throat. ]

I always want everything all at once.

[ Hadn't he told his husband he was greedy? Even though it takes so little to make excitement spread through him; just the touch of Liem's mouth on his jaw sends shivery tension into his stomach. His hand slips into Liem's hair -- to keep him there, lest he change his mind and pull away. The other slides over his shoulder, down the panes of his chest -- needy, suddenly, for the feel of him, especially as Cardan has little else. ]

...I want to see you.

[ But that would mean pulling away to fumble with matches-- ]

[Liem smiles, mouth curving against smooth skin as he trails kisses along the edge of Cardan's jaw. Now that he's been liberated from the commandment to not tease, he isn't shy about trading the gentle brush of cool lips for the scrape of teeth, light enough to be more suggestion than anything else.

His husband may be greedy for more, but Liem has always been fascinated with the promise and thrill that lives in the pleasure of anticipation. That hasn't become any less true just because he's currently in control of their pace.]

Hmm, do you?

[His tone is conversational as his mouth wanders down to the pulse high in Cardan's throat, belying the hunger gnawing low in his belly and simmering in his blood. His hands slide back down, to find Cardan's ass and tug his hips flush against him, wanting the hard heat of him pressed close.

He has not managed to escape noticing his husband's fondness for watching his face during the height of their intimacy. The lightless state of their room, then, must provide a frustrating inconvenience for him.]

Should I stop? [He pauses in tracing Cardan's pulse with his tongue so he can murmur against his neck.] So you can have light.

[ Somehow, in all of this, Cardan had forgotten that he was giving Liem leave to drive him a little insane. There is no question that it’s working: already every part of him is shivery and on edge, hyper-sensitized to the excruciatingly gentle threat of Liem’s teeth on his skin. It’s entirely fair turnabout - it’s just also that the drug simmering under his skin makes it harder to control himself, to keep the plain want from suffusing his face nor his breath from hitching every time that dangerous mouth finds his pulse. The fact that Cardan can only feel him ups the tension; the senses he has left — touch, sound, taste — feel alight with focus.

Liem’s hands on his ass do not particularly improve his condition. He lets out a sound when he’s pulled close, half-sigh and half-moan, his eyelids fluttering shut.

But if Liem had thought he’d escaped Cardan’s temper permanently, he’s going to be disappointed. ]

No, [ he growls, testily. ] No, you dreadful tease, don’t stop.

[ In case Liem feels his messaging is too ambiguous, Cardan will tighten his grip on him, even as he angles his hips to grind against him, slow and self-indulgent. ]

Surely your— mm, your house can light some damned candles.

[ If not, what is it even good for? ]

[It is not often that Liem gets to be a dreadful tease. He had not been anticipating the opportunity to be so with Cardan, who is so prickly and sensitive to enjoyment at his expense, and he is reluctant to push his husband too far on the heels of their argument, still wary of his stung pride. This is, after all, meant to some extent to be a reconciliation.

But the undisguised want jolting through Cardan's pulse and breath and body is addictive; Liem cannot help but want to coax more of it from him. Even the growl of his objection makes desire flare through him, naked with frustration as Cardan's irritation is. He nips lightly at his jaw, not denying his accusation at all, to distract himself from the alarming amount of satisfaction this brings him.

And he hums, pleased, against Cardan's neck, hands sliding shamelessly over his ass and the backs of his thighs as he grinds against him.]

House. [He doesn't bother to raise his voice.] The fire, please.

[On the wall facing one side of the bed, the wood resting in a broad stone hearth flares suddenly with warm orange light, flickering behind its decorative screen. Liem's eyes regain their normal hue — though he closes them regardless as he dips to the side of Cardan's throat, to suck a kiss against the skin there.]

[ Cardan has to squint against the sudden inflow of warm light; for a few moments, he’s almost as blind as he was without it. It’s always a little strange to watch the house respond as a living thing, in this land where most magic is sparse and well-hidden. But there is little time for contemplation of this nature — not with the persistent assault of Liem’s mouth on his throat, apparently determined to leave as many marks as he can without biting Cardan.

He breathes out, a little shaky, and tells himself that asking for it would be tantamount to defeat. No matter how much Liem’s indulgent, thorough exploration of his throat is making Cardan want to squirm, his skin thrumming with excited anticipation, Cardan doesn’t want to give him the satisfaction of pleading, and especially not so soon.

But it is difficult to focus even on his resolve. It is difficult to focus on anything that isn’t pleasure. His hand splays against Liem’s chest; the other brushes a strand of hair behind his husband’s ear. In the golden light of the fire, it strikes Cardan how handsome he is, even disheveled and on barely any sleep.

He arches a black eyebrow, doing his best to project imperious, cool impatience, even while nude and obviously turned on. ]

Are you so thorough with all your breakfasts?

[ It is, perhaps, ruined a little by the breathless quality of his voice. ]

[Even without the aid of any drugs at all, Liem has no trouble getting lost in the pleasure of tasting Cardan's flush-warmed skin and teasing his anticipation relentlessly higher. He is enamoured by every shiver and every breath his touch elicits, entranced by the racing pulse trembling against his lips. Keen as his desire to finally taste his husband's blood is, his hunger for this is just as desperate, and has been waiting just as long.

Cardan is not the only one who has been subsisting on naught but fantasies.

The mark on his neck looks handsome in the light of the newly lit hearth. Liem nibbles pensively at it, skims down Cardan's throat with a feather-light glide of teeth, seeking a tempting spot for his bite — one where it will look just as pleasing. He pauses with his fangs poised against Cardan's neck, their points pricking against the tender skin.

But instead of biting down, he withdraws the press of his teeth entirely.]

Cardan.

[His hand finds Cardan's neck, slides around the back to cup it as Liem tips his face up to speak against one pointed ear, with soft, steady emphasis.]

I don't fuck my breakfasts.

[ Cardan feels strung tight like an instrument waiting to be played, ready for the touch of sharp teeth, for the sting of pain and the spark of desire that always follows, fever-hot. He feels them, tantalizingly close, and holds the breath in his throat--

Only for Liem to retreat.

Cardan's hands on him clench down-- half thwarted need and half annoyance. He nearly whines with it; he definitely grits his teeth with it, his jaw gripped with frustration. It's truly impressive how tense and wound up Liem has managed to get him, when by all accounts, Cardan should be melting into a blissed-out puddle.

Still, he lets Liem touch the nape of his neck, and he determinedly doesn't shudder when his mouth moves against the flushed, sensitive shell of Cardan's ear.

What he does do is turn his head and look at him, dark eyes heavy-lidded with want. His fingers untangle from Liem's hair to skim along his cheek. He wants to push them inside Liem's mouth, to touch those fangs.

He doesn't, because he doesn't want to draw his own blood on accident. ]

No?

You should start.

[ And though he'd meant to go for a smug little smile, it comes out a touch too serious instead. ]

[When Cardan's gaze finds his, Liem is looking at him intently, like he's hunting for details about him he's never noticed before. He wants all of him: again. Still. It seems impossible to him that Cardan could conceive of him wanting anyone else, when he has dwelled so persistently in Liem's thoughts since the very night they were married.

His initial reply to Cardan's smile is simply to pull him closer.]

Only because it's you.

[And he kisses him, blood humming with leashed hunger, and slides his arm around Cardan's shoulders to keep him close. For a long, heated moment, he can do nothing but satisfy his want with the taste of his husband's kiss and the weight of Cardan's body pressed against his own. He leans back against one arm, taking Cardan with him, and rolls his hips against him as he lingers, insatiable, to kiss him again.

But even his own patience is being sorely tested now. He is drowning in the flutter of Cardan's pulse and the vibrant forest scent of him, and he wants nothing more than to bury his face against his throat, drag his tongue over his pulse and feel the throb of it beneath his skin before he tastes him.

So he does.]

[ Well, of course it's because it's Cardan. If he had truly suspected that Liem had been sleeping with the humans he'd fed on, Cardan would hardly have offered himself up. Rather, he'd like to think he'd be long on his way back to Elfhame, both his brothers be damned. His pride only bends so far.

Why, then, the strange flutter of pleasure in his chest?

Liem's words thrum through him, seductive. He makes a quiet, longing sound against his husband's mouth; for a moment, the promise of fangs retreats, and he doesn't mind because he's busy kissing Liem, busy moving with him and against him as their bodies shift together. It's addictive, this pleasure, this kind of helpless wanting. Addictive, the desire to press Liem into the sheets with the weight of his body.

He's braced himself against the bed, and his hand fists in the sheets when the maddening mouth returns to his throat. His breath seems unnaturally loud in the isolated quiet of their bedroom. ]

Liem.

[ He's not going to ask for it. He's not going to plead. But Liem's name slips out anyway, heavy with want. ]

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